To be worried whether this school is right for my son?

[Mittensandmuffins]

My DS is 4 years 4 months and has recently started at a state primary school with a large reception class of 45, divided into two classes for academic work but otherwise mixed. He is happy at school but I've noticed when I drop him off he turns into a child that is paralysed by shyness. He seems incapable of doing anything and just stands there looking lost.

Prior to this he was at a small private nursery in a class of 10 children, in which he thrived. At home he is a very talkative, bright, and confident child who has a lovely personality and dotes on his brother who has SN.

I am so concerned about why he is like this at school. Not sure whether it's a case of settling in or whether the school is completely wrong for him/too much of a change from the size of the nursery, and he really needs smaller classes where he can feel part of something again.

Have you spoken to the teacher?

Ds was in a reception class with a similar set up and found it tough but when he went into year 1 he found it much easier because it was more structured and generally less busy.

in the first instance I'd speak to the teacher and ask how long he is like that, whether it persists all day or just for a brief period in the morning. See what the response is from the teacher and go from there.

Sirzy We have a parents evening next week, so I am speaking to her then.

I echo what Sirzy says; speak to the Teacher. I work in a reception class and it's still fairly early days yet, so speak to school and find out how he copes with the rest of the day.

For some that first ten minute burst of business is overwhelming but they find their feet once everyone settles down and gets on with challenges around the classroom, for others school can be tough and they might need more support finding their feet. His Teacher should have a good understanding by now of how he's doing and if he's coping, and any Teacher worth their salt will take the time to reassure you when you're concerned.

We had exactly this scenario last year with my daughter. It has knocked her confidence massively but she's finally now getting back to her normal self, she's more engaged in class and her work has hugely improved. We moved her after two terms to a smaller school, there are now 22 in her class and she's thriving. I'm so glad we made the jump, at the time I was so concerned and worried it would upset her more moving. She ended up doing two terms as we stuck with it to see if she'd settle more, I now wish we'd moved her at Xmas.

You'll know your child best, go with your gut.

Talk his teacher. You'd be surprised what our children are like once we're gone. He may not know how to interact with his peers while he's with you. Or he may be worried about getting in trouble playing at school without the teacher present. Some children need to take things in before they get stuck in.

2 of my 3 dc were like this every morning going in to school. The strange thing is I would not have considered either of them shy before they started school. However, from talking to the teacher and a bit of observation (a few times I had to collect early for appointments and got to watch them playing at lunch time) it was clear that they really were thriving and there was no issue at all during the day. It may well be the same for your child so I agree with speaking to the teacher.
A couple of years in my DS is still sometimes quiet going in in the morning, but he has loads of friends and bounds out full of life in the afternoon.