Dance school - aibu or is teacher?

[ejk10]

My daughter aged 16 dances everyday. I do admin for the school in exchange for fee payment. We are doing a show in 2 weeks and there are a LOT of costumes and a group of about 5-6 mums plus teachers who all are helping with costumes. We needed pants from Primark to wear over some leotards and attaching a skirt to. I volunteered to drive into town centre to get pants from Primark and said I would take my daughter and her friend as they had a 2 1/2 hour gap between lessons. We bought the pants and needed food so called into Nando’s for 30 mins. We got back to dance class 15 mins late and the teacher refused to let girls into the lesson! I asked the teacher why and said we had gone into town for the costumes (which she knew). I had spent my money to park and my petrol and time. I couldn’t believe it! She said they couldn’t go in - and I said in that case I wouldn’t help with the costumes anymore and she accused me of blackmail... So - was I BU or was she??

WhiteHorse the teacher wasn't Abby Lee Miller was it?

ejk10 the chaperoning situation should be addressed with the teacher though, if there are two performances there should be no reason for any parent to miss out on seeing their child onstage. Perhaps it's too late for this show, but for in the future? There is no reason why there can't be two groups of chaperones one for the first performance and one for the second, and I do think the teacher should sort this out better.

www.nhs.uk/Livewell/fitness/Pages/Do-I-need-to-stretch-before-or-after-a-run-or-sports-and-exercise.aspx

mobile.nytimes.com/blogs/well/2013/04/03/reasons-not-to-stretch/?referer=

The dance teacher is rather pompous isn't she. Should have gone into town herself to get the stuff. Youngsters can warm the muscles in 5 minutes flat (it's perfectly possible) quietly and at back of class, then join in. If these students are not in the habit of lateness, and you were doing a task that was dance school related, then YANBU.

Ridiculous that teacher couldn't unbend a little on this occasion. She needs to get over herself but this type is often encouraged by those who believe it has to be all blood sweat tears and strictness, as they've seen it on the telly where being way over the top makes for sensational viewing. I wouldn't volunteer again either. Yes you do a paid job but that doesn't mean you are exempt from being treated with consideration as opposed to this punishment for 1 mistake

If the reason for nonadmittance was lateness then YABU. If the reason was that you had a Nando's then SIBU. I think it's probably the first though?

dancinfeet I am a dance teacher too. I have been for 22 years. Sorry - you are bring precious. Listing all these things a dance teacher has to do, all the background stuff - yes it's hard - mending & ironing a load of costumes is a personal bugbear of mine - it simply goes with the territory.

Whilst I will not have excessive/regular lateness in class, I am practical about life. The parents PAY - we are not providing a free service. I appreciate parents 100% for their support. Im able to maintain a career I love, because of them. They work too and that's just as important as our work you know.

If a parent & DC has rushed to class and are a few minutes late due to traffic I refuse to be high-handed about it especially when I know very well they're not regular offenders.

Balance in all things as they say

People are 'presuming' about the wamr up though. the dance teacher might have been trying to 'set' a dance or practice something where other pupils rely on the OP's dd and friends being there. If you are prepping for a show, and everybody drops in when they feel like it, it really isn't going to work.

MistressDeeCee, the reply listing all of the stuff teachers pay out for was not to the OP, but to the poster who stated that dance teachers should not ask for volunteers but should pay everyone for their help towards shows etc because they are 'minted' (in their words).

The child I turned away from Acro - this is the 6th week of term and she has been 15/20 mins late every week, parent normally drops and runs. It's in our T & C that students must attend the warm up part of the acro class, and it is not fair for the other children to then have to repeat it (she is too young to do her own warm up at the side). It simply isn't acceptable to walk into the studio and start with the cartwheel / handstand / bridge part of the acro class and there is a real risk of injury. I am a little less pedantic about lateness to other classes unless it becomes a regular occurrence, but I can see why the teacher of the OP's daughter was a bit fed up, 2 weeks before a show and they are probably utilising every moment of class time. ( and especially if the girls walked in announcing that they were late because they had been to Nandos as opposed to something unavoidable such as a traffic holdup).

I fully appreciate that parents work etc, and I have often looked after children whose parents have been running late after class, or had them drop their child off quite a bit early because they are juggling various things, and supervised the child in the studio whilst teaching another class. As paying customers they deserve a high standard of tuition (which I hope I am providing!) but their right as a paying customer to turn up when suits them as opposed to the time that the class is due to start, does not trump the right of all of the other paying customers in that class to a full uninterrupted lesson. Therefore I would rather turn away someone who is habitually late and refund their fees for that session than have classes disrupted regularly by their late arrival. Unavoidable occasional lateness I don't have a problem with, but from what I understand from the original post, the lateness could have been avoided if they had opted for somewhere with quicker food service than Nandos.

I think Backforgood has a good point that the teacher may well have been setting a routine, and having to repeat choreography for a late arrival is frustrating for both the teacher and other students.

If the teacher is still teaching choreography or setting routines 2 weeks before a performance then then making the girls sit out has only made more work for the teacher - she's still going to have to go over the work and with even less time to go until the performance.

If someone was late to one of my classes 2 weeks before a competition or performance because they were off doing me a favour (I'm assuming the girls didn't go in with "sorry miss we were at Nandos") then I'd just tell them to warm up themselves and join in - they should be able to do that at 16, even if it is acro. You've got to be sensible, it's only a dance show and not worth causing unnecessary drama over. She chose a pretty daft time to make an example of someone's time keeping in my view.

If it's anything like the school I'm involved with then everyone - teachers, coaches, admin, parents, older dancers - will all be volunteering time and resources for this show and their school more generally. Everyone needs to appreciate each other and their efforts and not get wound up about 15 minutes. She was unreasonable to accuse you of blackmail.

ejk10 the chaperoning situation should be addressed with the teacher though, if there are two performances there should be no reason for any parent to miss out on seeing their child onstage. Perhaps it's too late for this show, but for in the future? There is no reason why there can't be two groups of chaperones one for the first performance and one for the second, and I do think the teacher should sort this out better.

Chaperoning is a qualification and the licencing laws (although many dance schools ignore them) are a legal requirement. I have ended up many times chaperoning all performances simply because there aren't enough trained chaperones and if I (and others) don't do them all the show can't go ahead.