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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder if DH is kidding himself about running this marathon?

33 replies

SidseBabettKnudsen · 12/10/2017 14:57

DH is going to run a marathon in a couple of weeks. It's quite far away from us, a 5 hour drive.

He's made no arrangements whatsoever for this - he's hoping he can stay with a relative, but hasn't asked her, has no one to take him to and from the marathon from relative's house (she doesn't drive) and will have no one there to support or cheer him on. I can't go because of lack of childcare for our two SN kids.

I made a casual enquiry about his plans and he got very shirty. He thinks he is going to be perfectly able to drive to his relative's house from the marathon himself (about a 20 min drive) and then drive the 5 hours home the next day (he needs to get back for a medical appointment). He's made no contingencies if this is not the case.

I should add that this is his first marathon and he's never run further than a half marathon, which was two years ago. He hasn't run at all for three weeks, and the longest he has run in training is 10k, though he can do about 25k on an exercise bike.

I'm not a fitness type so I have no knowledge about whether he has a hope in hell of completing this, but every time I ask any questions I am being horribly unsupportive.

OP posts:
hiyasminitsme · 12/10/2017 14:59

He's going to have a nasty shock......

edwinbear · 12/10/2017 15:00

I'm with him. I can't see why he wouldn't be able to drive after a marathon? Confused

Butterymuffin · 12/10/2017 15:00

Leave him to it. He's not listening to you so he can learn the hard way.

KarateKitten · 12/10/2017 15:01

I'd say he'll be fine! Let him work away. He'll get sorted and will be well able to drive home the next day stiff muscles and all.

I'm a planner too though and it's not how I'd do it!

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 12/10/2017 15:02

I can see why a poorly prepared marathon runner might not be comfortable driving 5 hours the next day. Imagine 5 hours of feet on pedals if you have blisters.

Calic0 · 12/10/2017 15:03

My DH ran the London marathon a few years ago and was OK to do a long drive the following day (fourish hours). He was a bit stiff immediately afterwards but managed to walk around, get the Tube, cope with stairs etc. so I imagine a same day short drive would have been ok.

The training sounds a bit worrying to me though. I know that you're not necessarily supposed to run the whole distance in training (think 22 miles was DH's longest training run) but there's a hell of a lot of difference between 10k and 42k and a bike isn't really a proper comparison. What's his plan for the next couple of weeks?

Minidoghugs · 12/10/2017 15:03

I agree with leaving him to it.

AuntLydia · 12/10/2017 15:04

He'll be able to drive I should think - it'll just be painful. I'd let him get on with it but wouldn't be offering a lot of sympathy when he's nursing a load of injuries the following week!

M4Dad · 12/10/2017 15:04

Make sure you are able to record him the following day, it's going to be funny.

RatherBeRiding · 12/10/2017 15:15

Leave him to it.

He might get round the marathon but his training is inadequate. Partner ran his first marathon a few years ago and the longest he was advised to run in training was 20 miles, with some half marathon distances thrown in.

Partner's friend recently dropped out of a marathon at the 17 mile mark. Don't think he'd run further than half marathon distance.

However - a lot of people do manage to complete the distance with inadequate training. Either way - he's an adult, so leave him to it.

guilty100 · 12/10/2017 15:20

This is a bad idea.

He may be able to finish the marathon, but the chances of him doing so uninjured are pretty low if he hasn't run much further than 10k recently. He should be regularly running a decent distance a few times a week, with one of those runs being longer (15-22 miles, you're supposed to taper off just before, but this is from a position of longer runs not from nothing).

He will be absolutely shattered afterwards, and I'm not sure it'll be that safe for him to drive straight away. Whether he can drive the next day depends on whether he's injured (and how).

It's quite common for people to come down with a severe cold after a marathon too, particularly if they haven't trained for it.

BlackPepperCrab · 12/10/2017 15:24

I’d say leave him to it.

I have joined sports events alone way above my ability levels, completely failed at them, drove myself home afterwards, and lived to laugh about it every time it’s brought up. People are usually more capable than we tend to give them credit for.

FusionChefGeoff · 12/10/2017 15:25

I’ve just done my first half and could barely walk after but sitting down wasn’t too bad so driving might be ok. I trained ‘properly’ too and was up to 9-11 miles every weekend leading up.

He’s woefully under trained so more likely to get injured so a back up plan is probably wise.

However, if he’s as stubborn as my DH, good luck!

LaContessaDiPlump · 12/10/2017 15:31

Leave him to it - he's a grown up and should left to make his own stupid mistakes.

rightsofwomen · 12/10/2017 15:33

Meh....with that training he'll probably end up walking for most of it and be perfectly fine to drive.

Leave him to it.

category12 · 12/10/2017 15:33

Leave him to it.

heron98 · 12/10/2017 15:35

I did a marathon about 10 years ago without much training. The furthest I'd run is about 10 miles a couple of times. It was fine and I got round in about 4 and a bit hours. Provided he's not a total couch potato he will get round and be fine to drive without injury.

futuremrsconnor85 · 12/10/2017 15:38

I've ran 3 marathons and I must say the next day is usually a write off. It would hurt driving 5 hours the next day...although do-able if he isn't in a rush and can stop to stretch legs. In honesty though, it doesn't sound like he has done adequate training for it. Not to start talking about running too much, but it's advisable to do at least one 18-20 mile run before a marathon. I wouldn't recommend he run it, but if his goal is to simply finish rather than get a time he may well get round in 5-6 hours. He could go for a run-walk option.
It seems like your best option is to leave him to it (runners can be a crazy breed!) but if he asks voice your concerns.

BewareOfDragons · 12/10/2017 15:43

I don't think he's actually going to be able to complete the marathon ...

Minorquay · 12/10/2017 15:45

edwinbear ive driven for 4 hours at a time and been wasted after - let alone 5 hours two ways after a marathon - im not marathon fit but I am fairly fit. Im thinking tiredness and muscle cramps to start off with. Lets hope he sees sense and manages not to get into an accident on the way home

SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 12/10/2017 15:49

Yup, he's kidding himself. I've not gone further than a half, because I want good long term fitness before attempting the full distance.

The training sounds rather inadequate. 6 miles out of 24 is not 1/4 of the effort. Most people will train up to 18-22 miles or so, then taper off to recover in the 3 weeks building up. He should be around his peak milage now if its about a month away.
With a regular base of running about 10k, I can build up to sensible half marathon training in about a month. Marathons won't be nearly as forgiving.

Local travel shouldn't be problematic, but he does need to make overnight arrangements.

Nevermind, it's him that will suffer for it, not you.

IHeartDodo · 12/10/2017 15:50

I did a half marathon a few year ago having done 10 miles beforehand and trained for months, and I could barely walk for about 3 days!
But you're not his mother, let him sort it!

nocake · 12/10/2017 15:52

He might be fine, getting round the marathon ok and able to drive home without any trouble. Or he might crash and burn and be unable to walk, let alone drive the next day. It's a gamble and he's unwise to not have a contingency plan.

MrsTerryPratchett · 12/10/2017 15:54

Is he a skinny, generally fit, natural runner? Or not? Because I reckon DH could complete a marathon without training (not in a good time) just because he's generally fit and a natural athlete. I run and couldn't. Because I'm naturally a Rubens.

kmc1111 · 12/10/2017 15:56

He's kidding himself doing a marathon with that training, but the driving won't cause any problems. He'll be in a lot of pain when he gets out of the car after 5 hours of sitting, but the actual driving shouldn't cause him any issues.