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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think is bloody rude?

51 replies

Shockedshell · 12/10/2017 10:29

I dont know if I'm being unreasonable but this is annoying the hell out of me.
We are (DH & I) raising our grandson which means we currently have a few professionals involved in our lives that need to see us every six weeks. We both work and also have two of our own children still at home to care for so, like most people, we are always pretty busy - in fact life can be bloody hectic at times.
This one professional will text saying can I come and see you on such at date at such a time? I don't always see the text straight away so it could be an hour or two before I can check my calender and then respond and, 9 times out of 10, she'll text back saying sorry someone else has taken that time now!
Yesterday she text to say she could fit me in today instead of Friday like we'd arranged (she knows this is more convenient for me) but by the time I text back to say ok she'd given the appointment to somebody else Angry
I know she's busy too but it's bloody annoying and making me feel annoyed with her which isnt good when she's meant to be supporting us in caring for our GS.
AIBU or is this bloody rude?

OP posts:
LurkingHusband · 12/10/2017 11:18

Where I live there is a 999 text service

Except SMS is not a reliable service. Hence, the leaflet for the service (www.emergencysms.org.uk/files/3649_esms_6.pdf) says:

Don’t assume that your message has been received until the emergency service sends a message back.

I dread to think of the bustups and sackings that may have happened because people seem to thinks texts can't go missing. They can - and do.

FruitBadger · 12/10/2017 11:19

As per a PP, there is a 999 text message service but you do have to register for it...
www.emergencysms.org.uk/

OP, I would find that annoying and rude too. I don't think you'd be unreasonable to ask her to call rather than text, if that means you'd be able to check your calendar and confirm immediately.

CockacidalManiac · 12/10/2017 11:21

This is easily solved.

It certainly is. ‘Preferred method of contact’ should be part of any professional’s initial assessment. Then it should be adhered to. If people want to be texted or emailed, they can agree to that.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 12/10/2017 11:25

That's just ridiculous. Of course she should phone you! that way she can guarantee that you get the message as quickly as she needs an answer.

I'm quite sure she's incredibly busy and has a huge caseload, but that is no excuse for her treating you as though your time is infinitely less important than hers.

Original poster
Shockedshell · 12/10/2017 11:29

I have worked out how to put a different alert on for when I receive a text, hopefully I'll hear this alert when the message is delivered now which will hopefully solve the problem.

OP posts:
Original poster
Shockedshell · 12/10/2017 11:31

I guess I'm more fed up of it than usual as last time after finally sorting an appointment she didn't even turn up☹

OP posts:
guilty100 · 12/10/2017 11:51

I don't think it's rude - she's probably really busy - but I do think it's inconvenient for you. Just ask her to call you instead. Say you're disappointed to have missed the slot, that you can't hear the text on your phone and can't turn the volume up, and that it would be better for you to speak.

Butterymuffin · 12/10/2017 11:56

She shouldn't be offering the same slot to different people. That is going to lead to her regularly disappointing at least one of her clients. Point this out to her. Also, can you speak to her line manager if she isn't behaving professionally and make them aware that her systems don't work well for clients like you?

Missingstreetlife · 12/10/2017 12:07

Txt is a pita. Not everyone can be available 24/7. She should allow time for your response

problembottom · 12/10/2017 12:20

She sounds disorganised and a bit rubbish. I'd tell her she needs to call you rather than text you to arrange an appointment from now on, get that documented in an email if possible. And if she doesn't show up again I'd be contacting her manager.

melj1213 · 12/10/2017 12:24

I think I'd be having a word with her about the point of her texts ... the whole point of a text is that it's a message I can reply to at my convenience (unlike a phone call where you have to either ignore it completely to call back later or answer it immediately) but what's the point of replying at my convenience when the sender has treated it as time sensitive?

If I am texted with potential appointment time I would expect the sender to either hold the slot until I replied or make it clear in the initial message that the slot was being offered to multiple people and was first come, first served (but in this case I'd prefer if they offered multiple slots and I could choose a preferred one so that if that one is taken I can already have checked what would be the next best option to take it up straight away). In the latter case I would also hope they'd text me when the slot was taken and either offer another appointment slot or ask me to message them with my availability so they can offer a slot that fits that time and I don't have to worry about it being taken back.

brasty · 12/10/2017 12:26

ButteryMuffin I have worked in jobs where if someone does not answer me straight away, then I have had to book in other meetings. Think of it like booking an appointment at the GP. They can't keep an appointment free for a couple of hours, in case someone can make it.

TiredMumToTwo · 12/10/2017 12:34

I totally get where you're coming from, I would explain to her that the way she's communicating at the moment isn't working for you & could she please in future call.

Sirzy · 12/10/2017 12:42

I think you need to speak to her and explain that for you calls would be easier.

Personally I wish the professionals involved in ds care would text rather than call to arrange things as half the time I miss the call and we end in in a game of voicemail tennis! One emails to arrange and it is so much easier

PrettyBelle · 12/10/2017 13:20

You used the word "bloody" 4 times in your OP. Hopefully you are not prone to swearing seeing as you watch your grandchildren.

AlternativeTentacle · 12/10/2017 13:23

You used the word "bloody" 4 times in your OP. Hopefully you are not prone to swearing seeing as you watch your grandchildren.

Oh do fuck off.

Butterymuffin · 12/10/2017 13:25

Yes, please do fuck off Pretty. This is a site for adults where they can swear if they want to.

PrettyBelle · 12/10/2017 13:28

And for adults who feel that it's unnecessary and want to point it out.

Even field. So kindly fuck off yourself.

HumphreyCobblers · 12/10/2017 13:32

there is nothing about swearing that makes someone unfit to look after their grandchildren.

Honestly, only a really stupid person could think that and only a really rude person would point it out if they did think it.

VladmirsPoutine · 12/10/2017 13:34

PrettyBelle I bloody fucking hope not too!

brownfang · 12/10/2017 13:55

Other professionals manage to book appointments with me without a problem.

What are their successful methods? Whatever they do works, so I'd ask the SW to do the same/similar.

Anyway, it sounds like the appointments still happen they just take more telephone tag to arrange. Is T-Tag so difficult?

CockacidalManiac · 12/10/2017 14:37

You used the word "bloody" 4 times in your OP. Hopefully you are not prone to swearing seeing as you watch your grandchildren.

Lol, what?

JacquesHammer · 12/10/2017 14:51

You used the word "bloody" 4 times in your OP. Hopefully you are not prone to swearing seeing as you watch your grandchildren

Well I imagine her fucking grandchildren aren't active on Mumsnet so OP can do what she fucking likes.

What a ridiculous statement

OP you're not unreasonable - I would ask her to call too.

PompholyxOfUnknownOrigin · 12/10/2017 16:38

Fuck off PrettyWankingBelle and go and be a cunting twat somewhere else, there's a bloody dear.

PompholyxOfUnknownOrigin · 12/10/2017 16:40

OP if you post the make and model of your phone a MNer will probably be able to show you how to make the incoming text signal sound louder, add a vibrate, etc etc.

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