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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to turn down job offer?!

59 replies

stresshead84 · 11/10/2017 22:59

School A have offered me a job. Independent, great kids, 34 weeks per year, 8-1.30 M-F. 8 miles from home, but after dropping DS4 to School B and DS2 to Nursery C, it’s more like 11 miles and includes going back past own door. DS4 would need breakfast club 7.30 - 9. DS2 would need nursery 8-2 (right next to school A)

But...

School B has just advertised a job 9-3 M-F, state, also great kids. I’m more than able to meet criteria (sounds big headed, but I have worked with deputy head briefly on supply a year or two ago, and I know she’ll be asked). DS4 could go to breakfast club for 15 mins and straight home. DS2 would need nursery (at Nursery D on way to/from School B) 8-4.

Not bothered which nursery DS2 goes to. Both fine for 2 terms. He will go to School B in September.

Key points:

School A pays about £100 more per month, 5 weeks extra hols. School B pay leaves us with no space in budget, only just doable.

School A is maternity leave, likely to go permanent. School B is permanent job.

Next year DS2 will be too young for breakfast club so will need new childcare arrangement. If I’m working at School B, easy to sort. If I’m at School A then more tricky.

Do I go with head, School A, or heart, School B?!

OP posts:
kuniloofdooksa · 12/10/2017 08:08

B is better, but despite you knowing that you are well suited to B, a better candidate could apply or even someone about the same as you combined with you not performing brilliantly at interview.

Does A have a probation period and would the offer for B be made before that is over? Could you start job A and then quit as soon as the offer for B is made assuming that you are successful?

A permanent job is way better than maternity cover. The additional benefits of school A are not worth much when you will be jobhunting again a few months later.

Original poster
stresshead84 · 12/10/2017 08:12

6 month probationary period. Does that work both ways? Assumed it was just for them, if they weren’t happy with me?

OP posts:
BeyondThePage · 12/10/2017 08:16

A bird in the hand and all that... You have only been offered job A.

Would only contemplate holding out for B if you are willing to take the hit that may mean more job hunting, starting all over again if you are not successful at interview.

I personally would not want to work at my own child's infant/primary school.

Gazelda · 12/10/2017 08:16

If the school B vacancy hadn’t come up, would you have been having second thoughts about the school A job offer?

GreenTulips · 12/10/2017 08:20

I'm assuming A starts afternoon half term?

You still have a few weeks until the deadline date of B?

Give us a time line

redexpat · 12/10/2017 08:22

School A.

kaytee87 · 12/10/2017 08:26

Accept the job with school A then apply for school B. You'll usually find in the first couple of months that you only have to give a weeks notice.

kaytee87 · 12/10/2017 08:27

They can't make you work for them for 6 months. That's not the way employment works, you're free to hand your notice in at anytime for any reason.

Original poster
stresshead84 · 12/10/2017 08:35

Job B is starting early Nov, job B wanted a Jan start, but I have told them I would only consider an early Dec start latest, they’ve agreed.

Good question Gazelda. I think because agency messed me around with job A and it lost me a day’s supply (at school B coincidentally) that I felt mixed up about it from the start.

OP posts:
BoredOnMatLeave · 12/10/2017 08:35

A, but I consider 11 miles nothing. You can always apply for B and go from there, you might love the job at A

kaytee87 · 12/10/2017 08:36

So you've been offered job B?

Flyingprettycretonnecurtains · 12/10/2017 08:37

Hi. I moved from state to private. Private has lots of advantages: the pupils are better behaved, particularly if it is in an all girls school. I worked in an amazing state school with fab kids but I still spent acres of my time dealing with paperwork from behaviour issues. Very little of that happens. You get a free lunch. Do not underestimate this benefit. It saves me loads of money and time in the morning making my sarnies, etc. Generally, it is a bit less didactic so you have more control over what and how you teach. Slightly smaller class sizes - usually max of 23 which cuts down on marking but also means you can get round class easier when teaching. Reasonably good facilities. Children who want to learn and whose parents are pushing them to learn. You just are able to cover more content and give more individual support.

BUT. There are some things you need to know and ask about: they want their pound of flesh. So open Saturday; csn you just run xyz for our feeder primary school Saturdays; sixth form taster evenings; open evening; entrance day testing....the list goes on. They are very good at hiding the job requirements for these things so do check. Parents...they are a different kettle of fish as they are paying and expect that you will turn yourself inside out for little Persephone - often doing very little the,selves. I have come across several safeguarding issues since being in private and there is quite a bit of neglect and emotional need going on. It isn't uncommon to get emails late at night and then hysterical emails as to why you haven't replied by 9.00 am the next day. Money...this is a massive issue. Unless your private school is very competitive to get into and highly selective, a lot of private schools are struggling for intake. Check the intake and numbers before you say yes. Some schools say they are selective but the reality is that they need bums om seats so it is a very small s for 'selective'. This means that you get weak kids in who you magically have to get B and A grades for. This is hard and really stressful.

I much prefer working in private because my students are glorious and my colleagues are lovely but it isn't a bed of roses and you need to be realistic. But, and this is a big but, you might not get the state job if you take that risk.

Alanna1 · 12/10/2017 08:38

A.
Much nicer to have a parent in a different school too.

5rivers7hills · 12/10/2017 08:41

A

You’ve actually been offered it
More pay
More holiday

The extra traveling and admin re wraparound care are not big enough negatives for me

ArchchancellorsHat · 12/10/2017 08:43

I'd take A - it's the only one you've actually been offered. You must have wanted it enough to apply and interview for it? Is there a closer place for your dc?

NannyRed · 12/10/2017 08:45

Flip a coin. Heads you go school A. If you are disappointed at what the coin says, you know you really want to work at the other school.

Livingdiisgracefully · 12/10/2017 08:54

You know better than I do but I'd definitely go for A. Son at private school and hardly any staff leave. Other son at state and they leave in droves. Just think that's telling.

I wonder if by working supply you've been protected a bit from the stress of permanent work - extra planning and record keeping, etc. plus the general disillusionment in teaching by not being permanent staff yourself. Obviously that's just a perspective from outside teaching though.

KitKat1985 · 12/10/2017 09:01

School A.

Because:

  1. You've actually been offered the job, versus just seen the job advert.
  2. More money and extra holidays.
  3. Speaking from a friend who worked at the same school her DD went to, it can be awkward to work in the same school your kids are in. She found it difficult when her DD was being bullied for example to keep 'professionally uninvolved' and to be nice to the kids / disinterested parents involved.

I would want to sound out how likely job A was to be permanent though.

WhoPoppedMyBalloon · 12/10/2017 09:02

A

midnightmisssuki · 12/10/2017 09:09

A - sounds so much better.

AppleKatie · 12/10/2017 09:11

School A definitely.

londonrach · 12/10/2017 09:13

A school b is just an interview not a job offer

Appuskidu · 12/10/2017 09:14

Is school B really 9-3? As in you start at 9 and leave at 3?

8.45-3.15 are my comtracted hours like many teachers but I am in from 7.30-6. That would make a difference to me as with school A, I presume it's mornings only and you could just leave at 1.30?

NewPapaGuinea · 12/10/2017 09:14

Flip a coin. Heads you go school A. If you are disappointed at what the coin says, you know you really want to work at the other school

Was going to suggest the same thing.

kuniloofdooksa · 12/10/2017 09:17

Yes probation period works both ways. You usually have a shorter notice period to give in a probation period rather than a full term (usually one or two weeks) so you would be able to work full notice and still start job B on time if you get the job.