Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

No, I don't want to find Jesus!

79 replies

BastardTart · 11/10/2017 18:54

I have a friend who is a evangelical Christian. She is lovely, kind, funny, great fun to hang out with, our dc play well together, etc, etc.

But she keeps inviting me to weird brainwashy religious type meetings, where new recruits (for want of a better word) are offered delicious food and a talk about how Jesus wants to welcome them into his flock.

Now her church is a huge part of her life, but religion isn't something for me. But she persists in trying to convert me despite the fact I've stated I'm not interested. How can I get her to stop?

OP posts:

TheClaws · 12/10/2017 06:46

I have a friend like this. I’ve moved cities now (not because of my friend!), so I don’t have it in my face as much. When we teenagers, she would invite me to her Youth Group and other church meetings quite a bit, trying to convert me. In the end, to put a stop to it, I pretended to be converted. It was somewhat embarrassing: In a dim room, I was surrrounded by all the Youth Group, and they all put hands on me and prayed for ages. Some of them yelled, “Praise Jesus!” Anyway, apparently my soul was saved that night and my friend stopped bugging me.

So that’s an option?

Cactuar · 12/10/2017 06:53

Thread title reminded me of this 😂

kuniloofdooksa · 12/10/2017 07:01

Bringing along a nonchristianfriend (say this quickly as if it was all one word) is an important part of participation in that kind of church. She will have heard sermons telling her that God is calling her to be the light to guide one of his lost sheep home, exhorting her to prayerfully work out who God wants her to focus on. It's like every has "homework" to bring along a nonchristianfriend next time, or if not to at least have tried. She has decided it's you.

Like pp say, you need to tactfully explain that if your friendship is to continue then she needs to stop trying to push you towards the church door all the time. You understand and appreciate that the church door is always open to you and if you ever feel the urge to go in then you will but you don't want these constant invitations. Either she stops or the friendship does.

Ceto · 12/10/2017 07:31

How do you know it isn’t for you unless you’ve investigated it? Just saying...

If OP was brought up in the UK, it's a fair bet that she has investigated. It's quite difficult to go through 11 years of compulsory daily acts of worship at school without formulating views on whether Jesus is or is not for you.

EmpressOfTheSpartacusOceans · 12/10/2017 07:45

I've investigated. I was brought up Catholic & wanted to find out about the alternatives.

At the evangelical services I went to people sang the same songs over & over for ages with very loud music, waved their arms in the air a lot and then somebody grabbed my arm and said they'd been told to pray for me.

Not really religious nowadays.

trinis · 12/10/2017 07:52

But isn't life too hard without Jesus.....I mean, my husband divorced me, I lost my job, had health issues....how do you cope? There are times in life when nothing else works but going to Jesus

flumpybear · 12/10/2017 07:54

Just say you’re a lovely friend but I’m really not for church dos thank you

Ceto · 12/10/2017 07:55

But how does going to Jesus help, trinis? After all, it didn't stop all those problems from happening, did it?

Anatidae · 12/10/2017 08:01

Firm polite ‘I don’t believe, I never will. I value your friendship - at the same time I’m never going to convert, so let’s leave it, eh?’

Always thought lucifer got a raw deal tbh - I suppose he represents humanity just like Loke does ...

Anatidae · 12/10/2017 08:04

i mean, my husband divorced me, I lost my job, had health issues....how do you cope?

I’m sorry that happened to you.

I’m an atheist. I suppose I think there are no reasons, life just is. Bad shit happens and we must rely on our internal sense of self to deal with it. Why bring Jesus into it? What help does that provide really?
Just like living a moral life - you do it because you see that living beings like people have thoughts nd feelings and that to hurt them is morally wrong in and of itself - not because someone told you to and you’re scared of retribution in the next life. That’s how you get toddlers to behave. Adults should have an internal moral compass.

Ceto · 12/10/2017 08:06

I went to one of these after being pestered to do so by a friend. They were all sitting round talking about how the power of prayer had helped them. I sat there trying to keep my face under control as they all came up with stuff about how prayer had allegedly helped with stuff like "I prayed that my ankle would get better in time for football practice and it did" and "I prayed that I would find the car keys I lost and I found them". Ultimately I couldn't stop myself asking how come prayers for twisted ankles and lost keys get answered whilst prayers from cancer sufferers don't, and simply got waffle about god moving in mysterious ways.

But at least it stopped my friend from pestering me to go. Apparently the group suggested to her that I was a disruptive influence and maybe Jesus didn't want to be found by me just yet.

upperlimit · 12/10/2017 08:11

Oh, my friend is an evangelical Christian, not a day goes by that she doesn't pray for my withered atheist soul

The woman should be in sales really.

upperlimit · 12/10/2017 08:15

That's true of my friend too Ceto. Nothing is too trivial to ask of him, apparently. I imagine him like some kind of harrassed mother who is trying to put out a kitchen fire while the kids wander in asking for a biscuit or complaining that they are bored.

EmpressOfTheSpartacusOceans · 12/10/2017 08:41

Ultimately I couldn't stop myself asking how come prayers for twisted ankles and lost keys get answered whilst prayers from cancer sufferers don't, and simply got waffle about god moving in mysterious ways.

Well exactly. That's the stuff I find really infuriating.

I can handle the idea that shit happens because of things people do, the way the world is, etc. I can even handle the idea that God / Jesus / whoever will provide comfort & support in dealing with the shit, if requested.

But any God / Jesus / whoever who grants trivial prayers and protects the people who believe in them while letting everyone else go to fuck? No. Just no.

I was on the way back from saying goodbye to one of my closest friends. She had pancreatic cancer and was only likely to last a few more hours. A bunch of grinning idiots started thrusting leaflets at me about coming to their church and discovering the joy of Christ, who would answer all my prayers.

I do know that I shouldn't have told them to fuck off.

And last weekend, when the local evangelicals were in the High Street (mainly Hindu area) and a bloke with a microphone was explaining how everyone who didn't believe in Jesus would go to hell, I didn't comment. I just threw him a disgusted look as I walked past.

But honestly. How dare they? At least the JWs just stand quietly next to their leaflet stands nowadays.

Canadawet · 12/10/2017 08:57

I would approach this with an open mind, have a go, and then decide for yourself. She most certainly gets all her loveliness from her faith, but I agree that the pushing bit is actually putting people off. Our vicar keeps babbling on about how we shouldn't be shy of sharing our faith, but once people know I am a Christian and happy to discuss it if they so wish, I think I have done my job.

EmpressOfTheSpartacusOceans · 12/10/2017 09:04

She most certainly gets all her loveliness from her faith

Is this a joke or a typo?

kuniloofdooksa · 12/10/2017 09:24

Yeah I'm a Christian but I don't pray for sprained ankles and lost keys, or for miraculous healing from cancer for that matter. I do pray for God to give strength, courage, wisdom and inspiration to those who are seeking cures for cancer, and to bring comfort and peace to all who suffer in mind body or spirit, but I find the idea that God would grant a miracle to one sufferer while leaving so many others in pain to be abhorrent.

thatverynightinmaxsroom · 12/10/2017 09:29

I have a friend like this.

I definitely still want her in my life because she's one of the most brilliant people I know, but her religious views are off the wall bonkers.

Anyway. Every time she invites me I make a polite excuse. Easy!

didnthappeninmyday · 12/10/2017 09:40

Tell her you’ve been reading the God Delusion by Richard Dawkins and you’re looking forward to explaining to people that religion is a load of tosh 😇

CockacidalManiac · 12/10/2017 09:42

How do you know it isn’t for you unless you’ve investigated it? Just saying

Oh, for fuck’s sake.

CockacidalManiac · 12/10/2017 09:43

She most certainly gets all her loveliness from her faith

And they wonder why people avoid them...

EmpressOfTheSpartacusOceans · 12/10/2017 09:51

I do know a few lovely Christians but also plenty of non-Christians who are just as lovely if not more so.

And the psycho who threatened me with physical violence and called my boss to try to get me sacked was an Evangelical Baptist.

didnthappeninmyday · 12/10/2017 09:52

I would approach this with an open mind, have a go, and then decide for yourself.

You need to read the God Delusion, make sure you approach it with an open mind, give it a go and then decide for yourself.

DeadEnders · 12/10/2017 09:55

I'm not a religious person but I do believe that Jesus was an actual historical figure (not sure how the hard evidence stacks up though) and I wonder if he would want to hang out with Evangelical people?

I know the New Testament only contains the bits that the early Church wanted to include but it strikes me that Jesus may have found hand waving, clapping and public display a bit tiresome.

I'm sure there's a bit in the bible about keeping your worship private?

Fresh8008 · 12/10/2017 09:57

I don't pray for sprained ankles and lost keys, or for miraculous healing from cancer for that matter. I do pray for God to give strength, courage, wisdom and inspiration...

Why would you pray for something that you can easily get without praying. Surely you would pray for something that only a god could provide. I mean otherwise praying is competently pointless even if a god did exist?

Flip

1 2 3 4

Swipe left for the next trending thread