I have a friend that I haven't seen for over 18 years, but i occasionally email or message on social media. ie. we're not close.
He's never met my husband or children. A while ago he messaged asking for my kids birthdays so he could update his 'friends and families list'. I'm not keen on giving out my children's details so i ignored the message. I very rarely put up pictures of them on social media now, and don't use their names. In part, this is because i discovered that another friend, that I had lost touch with, got done for child abuse. I was shocked and it made me realise that you can't really tell who is a potential child abuser. If a close friend who had met my children several times and wanted to send a birthday card asked me for their birthdays, then I would be ok with this.
Then recently, I got another message from him with the same request. I ignored again. So he then left a voicemail message saying that he didn't want to make me uncomfortable but it's his way of having more to chat about with me rather than just asking how I am.
I still won't be giving out their birthdays.
I need to add that he has mild high-functioning autism so this may play a part in his approach and maybe he finds it easier to remember if he adds their details onto a list. I have a child with ASD to i understand the need for data collection, but it still makes me feel uneasy. AIBU ?