I was baffled at baby groups that all people wanted to talk about were the babies. I thought it was a cliché, but no, there they were, wanging on about poo textures and frozen baby food blocks and discharge and whether or not little Tybalt had composed his first symphony yet. I was quite surprised to find all the stereotypes and rumours were true.
I stopped going to groups and had no intention of making 'mummy friends'. I took up adult hobbies and made random adult friends instead. And I don't talk about my kids. Why on earth would they want to know?
I think not using the twee phrases meant I'd have never fitted in anyway.
Sometimes I like to say "Housewife", when I was a SAHM, if there was a particularly snooty tone from the enquirer, because I liked it when their faces dropped and contorted in horror.
It's this whole, I dunno, this idea that 'motherhood' is some sort of transformative experience that is so terribly unique that everyone must be enlightened about it - 'the mummy diaries'? Yuk! - as if it's not something just about everyone's experienced either by having kids or being a child themselves and seeing their own mother Do Mothering. Big whippity do. There's a reason fathers - on the whole - don't form Dad Groups, go out with Dad Buds, Daddy blogs are less popular and the ones most likely to hashtag about what a great father they are do it to distract from the fact they see their kid 3 times a year, and they don't go on and on and on about nappies and milk and baby stuff. It is interesting to you but not others. It is not a good topic for bonding with other adults. It is not LITERALLY everything that you are.
It's creepy. I find it kind of sad. Like, is there anything else about you other than 'mother' you want to share with the world?