To want to stay off work until Saturday? Sorry it is very long winded.

[MummyIsTheMonster]

I'm a regular poster. Just changed my name because I am ashamed that my life is so rubbish at the moment.

I am under so much stress with my home and personal life right now I don't seem to smile anymore. My house is a tip and I can't seem to get on top of the housework. I have kids but they are with their father for 3 weeks as we share custody.

Because of all this stress in my life I often just want a huge hole to open up and take me away from it all.

On top of the stress in my life I suffer from depression which I hate but I can never make myself feel better.

The real problem is work. I work 35 hours per week but the commute means I am sat on a bus 4 hours per day which adds to my stress. Our systems have recently changed at work and I am struggling with the new programs we use on the computer. I try to discuss my concerns with my management of which there are 7 team managers for the department and none of them can seem to help me. They just basically fob me off and tell me to struggle along and soon I will pick it up like everyone else has. I have therefore come to hate work. I have had some days off sick but not many at all.

I have come to dread work so much I actually cry the night before and can't sleep as I am so worried as of what the next day will bring. I ended up phoning in sick today as I was so depressed and dreading work and was thinking of not going in until Saturday, so having Wednesday and Friday off. Thursday is my usual day off. I am planning to look for a new job on these days off. Would it be wrong of me to stay off? I do feel immense guilt not showing up but I am just so much dreading work you cannot believe and no one will have an extra workload. Should I go in or would it be reasonable of me to stay off?

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Reasonable to stay on mental health grounds - you need a break and you probably wouldn't be doing your employer many favours by being there and being unproductive because you are so stressed. Take some time out, keep your dc;s in childcare or whatever are their normal arrangements and take stock which may mean looking for another job or seeing if you can do your job from home or something? Hope you feel better soon.

You're not wrong to want to stay off, but would you not be better off doing something specific about your problems at work? For example, put your need for training in writing to your line manager. If nothing is done, talk to HR?
Sorry if this all sounds very easy to say - I'm lucky to have no experience of depression, so can't give much advice

Oh sorry, have just read your last paragraph in more detail. If you feel that much dread about work then you are doing something positive by looking for something else. Good luck xx

poor you,it sounds really hard
haven't read other posts but in all honesty i don't think you should go back to work if it makes you feel this bad.
having said that there is no guarantee you will find a new job straight away it could take weeks or even months.
don't know what your finacial situation is but could you live on sick pay for a while?or even leave altogether,live on tax credits until the right job came along?
i know thats not the ideal situation,but you can't just carry on like this,the odd sick day is not going to be enough it sounds like your heart is not in this job or its not right for you and making your existing depression even worse. you will run yourself down to the ground if you go back now whilst still feeling like this.trust me,i speak from experience.