Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

My neighbour and her headboard...

28 replies

99balloonsandproblems · 10/10/2017 12:52

My neighbour (terraced houses) has (I think) started seeing somebody. She's a single mum, middle aged, I'm pleased for her. Our relationship is cordial - we can say hello on the street and I have her mobile number but never socialised or anything.

The issue is she is (I think) started having sex late every single night. The sound is a squeaking mattress and a thumping headboard, along the wall where our bed sits. It lasts about fifteen minutes. I can't think what else it could be.

It varies from between 23:30 to 01:30 (last night) and it is loud enough to wake me up.

I don't know what to do about it. I'm losing sleep but I cringe at the thought of saying anything. I floated the idea of a concerned text about hearing her washing machine/boiler/pipe noises late at night which would let her know I can hear her but my DP thinks this is a mental course of action and I have to say I agree.

I've started dreading going to bed, though. Any suggestions?

OP posts:

LaurieFairyCake · 10/10/2017 12:55

I’d move rooms/move the bed. Don’t forget she can hear you fucking too

Original poster

99balloonsandproblems · 10/10/2017 12:55

Our headboard doesn’t slam into the wall!

OP posts:

moreismore · 10/10/2017 12:55

You could say you've put a thing in your bedroom and can she hear it as your aware the walls are quite thin and don't want to disturb her? Hopefully she'll join the dots...

Anatidae · 10/10/2017 12:56

You need to make an innocuous but audible noise at the time/just before/just after. Not anything aggressive like knocking on the walls, just a sound that’s daily living that she can hear.
Your goal is to spark that ‘shit I can hear them so they can hear me’ realisation.

So hairdryer, trip on the stairs and yell for dh, etc etc.

That can then be followed up if you see her with ‘god I’m so sorry if you heard me yelling last night, I tripped up and I thought I’d broken my ankle, so sorry, blah blah.’

moreismore · 10/10/2017 12:56

By thing I meant tv. Obviously

Optimist1 · 10/10/2017 12:56

When the headboard starts knocking, do a very loud "ahem!" (cough-type noise) and see if it stops. Presumably if the walls are thin enough they should hear it? Repeat until they realise the bed needs to be shifted a bit.

shakingmyhead1 · 10/10/2017 13:01

every time she finishes... clap CLAP LOUDLY!

Ifailed · 10/10/2017 13:05

next time she starts, play "Je t'aime… moi non plus" nice and loud.

Brahms3rdracket · 10/10/2017 13:05

Loud applause and shout the score you've given the night's performance after they've finished should do the job (unless they're exhibitionists, in which case that may encourage them)

Original poster

99balloonsandproblems · 10/10/2017 13:09

Another issue is that my boyfriend sleeps early (ten-ish) and deeply. I already irritate him by being a night owl/noisy so difficult to bang on the wall, etc, when it starts up

OP posts:

BlueUggs · 10/10/2017 13:10

Post 2 large sponges (the thick ones) through her door with a note to say “please put these between your headboard and the wall.” Sorted.

PeaPodPopper · 10/10/2017 13:11

Maybe offer her a pillow to put between the headboard and the wall!

FindoGask · 10/10/2017 13:24

I can't imagine feeling able to say anything at all, in this scenario. It's not like she's screaming her head off. I would buy earplugs and assume it won't be forever.

MrsOverTheRoad · 10/10/2017 13:24

Well either say/do something or put up with it! That's all OP...

tarheelbaby · 10/10/2017 13:25

You say you have her mobile no. If she wakes you, can you text her, saying (as a concerned neighbour, of course) that you heard noises coming from her place and ask if she's ok?

In all seriousness, perhaps you could ask her if she's been hanging pictures at night?

IvorHughJars · 10/10/2017 13:26

I used to clap. So did she

fairyofallthings · 10/10/2017 13:26

Buy her a game of scrabble for 'those late nights when you can't sleep'

IvorHughJars · 10/10/2017 13:26

I used to clap. So did she

LizzieMacQueen · 10/10/2017 13:27

Shout to your DP as they begin. 'Hurry up darling. It's starting'.

NachoAddict · 10/10/2017 13:30

Pop a note through the door saying could she please put a pillow behind the head board.

Move your bed to the other side of the room.

Buy ear plugs.

Wait it out, the honeymoon phase of nightly bonking will wear off.

TheNaze73 · 10/10/2017 13:32

Fair play to her. I think you need to clap too

guilty100 · 10/10/2017 13:34

I would play it utterly naive: 'I've noticed a banging noise coming through the wall at varying times late at night. It goes on for about 15 minutes. Could your pipes need looking at?" Play it dead straight and don't show a hint of embarrassment.

Orchardgreen · 10/10/2017 13:39

I used to have an upstairs neighbour like that. She was a screamer. I happened to have her phone number, so rang it during their activities.
They stopped, I heard footsteps go to answer it, I hung up the phone.
Footsteps back to bed. Then they started up again!

Majormanner · 10/10/2017 13:40

What Lizzie said!

And when it really gets going - give a running comentary

didnthappeninmyday · 10/10/2017 13:53

Just bang on the wall when it starts and shout we can fucking hear you

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread