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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be ticked off and contact the school

68 replies

SandyY2K · 09/10/2017 17:58

I'm rather ticked off with one of DDs teachers. She's in year 11 and has said this teacher is approachable.

I was going to try and speak with the year Head about it. Before I got a chance, it seems other students have felt the same and asked other teachers for support and clarity regarding a particular assessment.

Well the teacher somehow found out about this and has gone mad with the class. Mimicking their voices and telling them she's a good teacher, it's just them, they don't listen and previous pupils have achieved good results.

She has actually made them more reluctant to approach her after this. DD just feels there is no point in approaching her, but is now scared to approach the other teacher, in case teacher finds and gets annoyed again.

WIBU to have words about this with the school?

Her behaviour has been so unprofessional in my opinion.

OP posts:
SilverySurfer · 10/10/2017 15:35

So OP, what's your aim? For the teacher to have a personality transplant or be fired?

PS -it's cue, not que

PenelopeStoppit · 10/10/2017 16:53

The school will know if the teacher is good and if she is then she has nothing to worry about so any complains won't really be an issue.

Possibly, her approach to teaching a top set could be part of the problem. They are often extremely conscientious and worry when they don't understand every detail. They are also not used to being told off and can find constructive criticism difficult to digest. She might be applying a tough approach, which works with less able sets, to her top set. Part of a teacher's skill set is to use different strategies to ensure maximum progress. If this is the case she does need to rethink her approach rather than defend her current style which sounds like it is causing problems.

Pengggwn · 10/10/2017 17:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ploppie4 · 10/10/2017 17:13

Well done op. Some parents and teachers believe kids should suck up all manner of shit without complaint. You were very fair. You spoke to the teacher first and then the HOY. It was particularly important to discuss the issue with the HOY because he/she will have an overview and inturn be able to support the teacher. It maybe that this teacher is having an awful time at home and short tempered in school. It maybe that the teacher is particularly stressed with the new curriculum or workload.

BoneyBackJefferson · 10/10/2017 17:22

Ploppie4

And some parents and teachers believe that parents should get both sides of the story before taking it further.

the OP has done this and can know go up the chain without getting "you should talk to the teacher first".

MaisyPops · 10/10/2017 17:33

Glad you spoke to the teacher first.

It doesn't sound like she approached it the right way, but she absolutely has my sympathies if she is teaching a reasonably bright class and a significant number of students are too busy questioning her and not listening that she can't explain tasks.

I had a student like that last year. Thankfully by the end of the year they realised that they'd get better if they stopped correcting my subject knowledge with 'well so and so said...' and actually listened. So far they are a golden student.
If I have explained things multiple times then I don't stand explaining it to each individual child who wasnt listening. It's infuriating so she may well have a perfectly valid point (even if her way of ersponding wasn't ideal)

I do think you speculating about a member of staff having a breakdown is just nasty though. Comments like that don't exactly paint you in a good light,

lougle · 10/10/2017 17:50

I can't get past the bit where you say that it 'came up in a Governors meeting that this member of staff was being performance managed (sic)'. It should never 'come up' in a Full Governing Body meeting. Or in fact any meeting, except a confidential meeting between the Head Teacher and Chair of Governors if there comes a point where there is a need for a termination settlement (compromise agreement) due to the teacher choosing to resign rather than being dismissed on the grounds of capability, etc.

I also agree that you should never mix your role as a governor and a parent. I've been a Governor for nearly 8 years and I always say 'I'm phoning as a parent' if I'm talking about my DD as a child attending the school, rather than talking about school issues as a Governor/Chair of Governors, even if the issues could overlap. I make it crystal clear in which capacity I am talking, because I take my duty to act in the best interests of the children of the school as a whole (even if that is to the detriment of my DD as an individual) extremely seriously.

TheDayIBroke · 10/10/2017 18:09

Sandy well done for supporting your DD. The teacher does indeed sound unapproachable and downright awkward and nasty. She should not be mocking them and belittling them at all. By being like this, she will not get the best out of her students nor have their respect.

Can your DD move to another class for this subject? This teacher has already managed to put your DD off going to the school's 6th form because of her, don't let her ruin her love of the subject.

Thymeout · 10/10/2017 18:17

Good. I'm glad you followed protocol and spoke to the teacher first.

I'm still a bit concerned that being a governor seems to loom so large in your mind. (You mention that you were on the panel that appointed the HoY. That should be totally irrelevant.) I was a governor and actually felt inhibited about talking to teachers about my children, because I was bending over backwards to be a parent and NOT a governor. It's the same sort of situation as when a teacher has a child in the same school. You have to make an effort not to take advantage of what you may have picked up in governors' meetings.

Fyi, a governor should not approach a teacher unless the chair of governors has directed them to and only with the permission of the Head. There are some very firm boundaries in place on this point.

Worriedaboutboy · 10/10/2017 18:27

Oh so you're one of those parents.....

KittyVonCatsington · 10/10/2017 18:39

Pen, you're very defensive if your profession. Teachers can't do any wrong in your eyes. That's worrying

To be fair, no one, not even Pen has said that teachers can do no wrong. It really does feel as if you wanted to start this thread, so that you could accuse posters of that.

You did the right thing by calling the teacher first although I still don't see what is wrong with saying past results have been good and then contacted the HoY. Hopefully, a solution will happen for your DD.

However, as a Parent Governor, you are really going to need to drop your prejudices; accusing her of having a breakdown (which as a Governor you should be worried your school is causing that, if true) or referring to what she says as blah blah blah.

Does anyone else find it odd that a Parent Governor was interviewing for a HoY position? School Governors only ever interview for Headteachers and never for any other role (used to be a Staff Governor myself and worked in many schools...) What would they know to ask and what would they know to do with the responses?

BitOfANameChange · 10/10/2017 20:29

School Governors only ever interview for Headteachers and never for any other role

I was a parent governor and on the interview panel for other roles.

MaisyPops · 10/10/2017 20:35

It really does feel as if you wanted to start this thread, so that you could accuse posters of that
There has been a lot like thay lately.

AIBU about this situation?
Mn (mix of teachers and parents) - you're not on this part but you are on these other areas.
Antiteachinv poster - That's outrageous. You should complain to the head
OP - i know right. At least one person sees sense. I can't believe everyone has said my child is a liar
Mn - Nobody is saying they are a liar. We are pointing out that kids can and do tell fibs or creatively spin things when it suits. We think you should call the teacher and ask for theit take
OP - I dont even want to talk to the teacher she is so unprofessional and bullies children. Im so glad some of you dont teach my child.
Anti teaching poster - you have to ignore everyone else. On mumsnet teachera are gods and you can't ever criticise
Anti teaching poster 2 - I know right. And tbey spend all their time saying nobody respects them. Obviously people dont respect them.
MN- but nobody has said that!

...Anti teaching posters and OP congratulate themselves on how enlightened they all are for seeing the great mumsnet teacher conspiracy and act like goady fuckers

KittyVonCatsington · 10/10/2017 20:44

I was a parent governor and on the interview panel for other roles.

It is sad when schools go against recommendations of the NGA and have Parent Governors interview teaching staff. However, I suppose not all schools have to be a member and it gives academies and Free schools a 'free pass'

KittyVonCatsington · 10/10/2017 20:46

Maisy Grin

user789653241 · 10/10/2017 20:52

I find it very difficult to understand that OP isn't anyway embarrassed as a school governor to post comments like these. To me, it sound very unprofessional, and hope our parent governors aren't like op.

MaisyPops · 10/10/2017 21:00

irvineoneohone
Most aren't like that.Most are very professional and don't try to implicitly use their status lile this

Just like most parents are very supportive of school and teachers and if thry have a complaint or query they raise it reasonably, but the ones who stand out and who people share the horror stories are the ones who are rude/entitled/a pain in the ass.

user789653241 · 10/10/2017 21:03

Yes, very true, Maisy.

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