People who ask for donations for ‘Sober for October’ or Dry January

[SuperTrumper]

I have an uncle who drinks like a fish. He is doing Sober for October and every few days is reminding people on Facebook how much of a sacrifice he is making and can we please sponsor him, all proceeds to go to charity.

Aibu to get annoyed with people who give up a vice for a period of time and expect to be applauded for it? It’s hardly running a marathon? And if it is such a real struggle that deserves applause then surely give it up for good and get help?
If you want to raise money for charity, then surely put aside all money you would spend per week on alcohol and then write a cheque at the end of the month for the amount you save?

I never sponsor anything - charity donations go directly.

Not only is it sponsoring people to do something that they would do anyway (run about) or should do ( get addiction help or simply swill less) but it is a grossly ineffecient way to donate. Posters, plastic wristbands, marshals, road closures - just no.

It's a bit weird I guess... but as usual, there's lot of displaced anger/scorn on this thread.

It's weird to sponsor anything isn't it? Like, I don't care at all whether you run 10k or dive out of a plane etc. It makes zero difference to my life. All it is is a way to draw attention and donations to a particular charity, which is fine. The actual gesture made by the fundraiser is irrelevant. Getting fit/giving up smoking/shaving your head... Does it matter.

No, the vitriol on this thread is about people wanting to scorn drinkers and show how much better they are with all this "I don't even care about alcohol" stuff. Yawn.

If giving up alcohol is a challenge then you have bigger issues than whether or not someone sponsors you to do it.

In fact it speaks volumes about the culture we live in where drinking is seen as the norm and giving it up is something to be applauded because it's so hard.

And to whoever compared it to giving up bread for lent, bread is a part of most people's diet, whereas alcohol/cigarettes are things we actively choose to indulge in to the point that I have lost count of the number of people who will say "oh, I hated cigarettes/alcohol when I first started but I persevered and now I'm giving them up for the cause it's just going to be so challenging."

Someone on my friends list did it and was on about it every day, how hard it was etc - she even left an Event early as it was too hard to stay there sober.
I wouldn’t sponsor but do for runs as that actually seems like an achievement. Most of us here have had at least 9 months not drinking

I also agree with the entirety of @lover ‘S post above

@LoverofCake

That was me. And I think the comparison stands. Maybe I should have used cake as the comparator instead? I've literally never heard anyone say they "persevered" with alcohol until they liked it - it's something they choose to involve in their food/drink intake just as cake is for you and bread is for me. I just don't see the need for all the superiority. I wouldn't sponsor anyone to give up booze but no one has ever asked, because the entire point of it is that you donate the money you saved yourself. Same as me putting my sourdough budget in the Church collection pot.

If giving up alcohol is a challenge you have bigger issues

I'm not sure this is right. The bread example wasn't great, but there are loads of things we don't need that people struggle to give up. Chocolate, crisps etc (plenty of people give those up for Lent but find it hard). Watching tv. Swearing.

If you have to give up something for health reasons, that's often motivating enough. But if it's just random "I won't have this for x days" it's harder for some. We all have things that are simply habit and part of our lifestyle. If someone found it hars to stop watching Coronation Street would you think they needed medical help??

*hard

I would sponser the odd sporting event but not for giving up drinking. I had friends on fb last year doing it and they could get 'tickets' donated to give them a night off not drinking. Wtf if you can't even manage a month - and I say that as a person who can put a fair bit away.

Good for you mostinept.

My issue with this is that this kind of fundraising is so prevalent that I can’t afford to sponsor everyone who asks so I’m left feeling that I’m some sort of Scrooge when I’m not. I’ve set up standing orders to donate what I can afford to specific charities every month so I won’t be sponsoring your sky dive, cycle ride, fun run etc. If charities are so short of money, perhaps we should be funding their vital work through increased taxation not relying on charity.
I like the idea of a previous poster who thinks the person who is giving up drink for October should be donating what they would have spent on alcohol that month, not guilt tripping their friends.

merchantofvenice you expressed it perfectly
Sick of these threads.

i think the sneering can go the other way about other lifestyle choices. A few colleagues at work who are doing Stoptober because they drink a lot on evenings/ weekends, always take the mick out my “unhealthy” lunch choices just because I don’t bring a salad in everyday and choose to have a Subway or a KFC once in a while. Yet the last time I had a glass of anything alcoholic was about 4 months ago, and they’re the ones embarking on a month-long alcohol abstinence

But is your BMI healthy OP?

KFC for lunch is RANK, give me a glass of red wine anytime.

As long as you give to charity anyway, who cares?

YABU. If you don't want to contribute, don't. He's making a lifestyle change which will be difficult for him to do.

The people who really irritate me are the people who expect sponsorship for the (shudder) Race for Life or so they can do something they want to do, but want other people to pay for, such as a charity parachute jump.

In comparison to those things, a month off the booze for someone who is a serious drinker will be much more of an achievement, and he should be applauded for this.

Well, I wouldn't ask for sponsorship personally but it seems no weirder than asking people to sponsor you for running 10k or whatever- neither is an especially impressive achievement and each benefits the person doing it, but so what? I'm happy to give a bit of money to charity and if things like this are a prompt, that's good, isn't it? I think it's a bit weird to expect people to really suffer before you'll part with a few quid.

As for whether giving up booze for a while means you have a problem, surely it depends. I quite often go for a few weeks without a drink, deliberately, just because I feel like being healthy and don't want to develop the habit of drinking most nights. Obviously that means I'm a raging alcoholic

flo I agree with you. For some MNetters, it would seem that the only acceptable circumstance in which to have an alcoholic drink is if you really don't actually want one/ can take it or leave it/ don't care either way.

If there's a chance you might actually enjoy it, or look forward to it at the weekend, or be a bit put out if you absolutely couldn't have it for x number of weeks - well, you have A PROBLEM.

I have much more respect for someone that stops smoking or drinking for a month than a 'half Marathon'

Stop eating your hobnobs OP your KFC's and SUBWAYS.

I just sponsored a family for crossing all the bridges in London to raise money for type 1 diabetes in children. Because it was an admirable cause FFS,

On Mumsnet recently all alcohol is bad. It's so boring.

'Fatshaming' on the other hand is alive and kicking. That's not on.