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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I in denial or is DP overprotective

44 replies

pinotgrigio123 · 08/10/2017 00:21

Aware probably neither of us are being unreasonable as such but it's just such a clash in opinions some outside opinions would be good.

My health has been a bit funny for the last year. I'm still able to get up and haven't had an absence from work from ages but I have some weird symptoms. They're all relatively minor but combined they are annoying to me and extremely worrying to DP. I think part of the problem is how used to it I've gotten and that because I can still go about my day to day life I don't really feel "sick" if that makes sense? Like a doctors time would be better used on someone who really needed it.

To summarise, it started with a lot of neck problems. My throat sometimes hurts a bit but the main issues were a lot of phlegm (I know, ew) to the point where I would choke on it and swollen lymph nodes on my neck and sometimes under my arms. I've dropped a dress size and my appetite has dropped but my tummy is always bloated, it's not too noticeable but seems huge compared to the rest of me. I tire really easily and have been having occasional bouts of nausea, sore throats and have just felt like there's always something up for the last year. As I mentioned though, it's never enough to keep me in bed all day.

I've agreed I will see a doctor but DP and I are now debating over how much of a priority it should be, I personally wouldn't consider this an emergency or urgent but DP thinks I should prioritise the next available (routine) appt over work/classes etc.

I feel terrible that I've worried him this much and would love some thoughts. I know it's unreasonable but I hate feeling like I'm wasting time that another patient could have had.

If you made it to the end thanks for your time xx

OP posts:
Fattymcfaterson · 08/10/2017 00:23

Ffs go and see a fucking doctor. This is top priority.

mumblechum0 · 08/10/2017 00:27

Yep. I ignored my cancer symptoms for 9 months and only survived by the skin of my teeth. Obviously you almost certainly DON'T have cancer but still.

Get to the GP and get checked out.

Hawkmoth · 08/10/2017 00:27

YES, gp and yes, urgent.

GrockleBocs · 08/10/2017 00:29

At the very least, book a routine appointment on Monday.

Butterymuffin · 08/10/2017 00:31

You've felt unwell in some way or another for a year. I think that can be prioritised over a normal work day or class. Now if the only appointment available clashed with your hugely important presentation to the executive board, then you might think twice, but that's generally something that happens in Hollywood films. So just book the first appointment you can get and make time to go.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 08/10/2017 00:31

I would consider those symptoms extremely urgent, particularly the bloated tummy and dropped appetite.

holdthewine · 08/10/2017 00:33

Agree with all PPs. Losing weight without trying is always a red flag. Hopefully it’s something which can be treated like a thyroid problem but FFS go to the GP on Monday!

Pollypudding · 08/10/2017 00:33

Please go to your GP urgently. You are not wasting your doctor’s time. You have had these symptoms for a YEAR. This is your priority. Flowers

LovingLola · 08/10/2017 00:37

I am sure you are aware that a bloated tummy may be a symptom of ovarian cancer. I would get to the doctor as soon as you can.

notapizzaeater · 08/10/2017 00:38

Take a time line if all the symptoms and let the doctor decide

Pumpkintopf · 08/10/2017 00:43

@notapizzaeater has given good advice. Definitely go, and take a list of symptoms/timeline so you give the GP the full picture.

Italiangreyhound · 08/10/2017 00:54

I would consider this to be extremely urgent and would speak to your GP and get next emergency appointment.

Please stop worrying about worrying your dh and prioritize your own health.

yorkshireyummymummy · 08/10/2017 00:56

Well , nobody could accuse you of being an NHS time waster could they love??

Now, read your post and imagine that you didn't write it but your mum/ sister/ friend/ daughter wrote it. What would you tell them to do??

Phone the doctors up on Monday and get the first appt you can, even if you have to go to 'sit and wait'. Your symptoms may be something minor or they may be something horribly serious. You just don't know but you NEED TO BE SEEN QUICKLY. Please, do as notapizza says and do a timeline of your symptoms and go to the doctors on MONDAY.

BoreOfWhabylon · 08/10/2017 00:57

It's not A&E now urgent but it's emergency GP appointment on Monday urgent.

Jacana · 08/10/2017 00:59

Another one saying please book the first available appointment, op.

HeddaGarbled · 08/10/2017 01:02

Yes, you are in denial.

No, he isn't being overprotective.

Make that appointment on Monday.

BoldKitties · 08/10/2017 01:02

Well clearly we're all supposed to be bowled over by your stoicism and sense of civic duty in not taking an appointment from someone who needs one. Except you need one. Just go and see your fecking GP. All this 'debating over how much of a priority it should be' is very dramatic. Just make a bloody appointment. Pop along and see your GP. Why drag it out for a whole year?

Seeingadistance · 08/10/2017 01:03

Yep, I'm with the others. Go to the GP as soon as possible.

KoolKoala07 · 08/10/2017 01:08

Really! Op you should have seen a doc ages ago. Without wanting to alarm you those symptoms put together could mean something very serious.

Hidingtonothing · 08/10/2017 01:08

Have you asked yourself how you would feel if DP had had similar symptoms for a year? I would be enormously stressed and worried if my DH was refusing to see a doctor for this long with those symptoms. The urgency now (and your DP is right, it is urgent) is because you've already left it all this time, sorry to be blunt but you've had months to make an appointment 'at your leisure' and now you just need to get on with it! I mean that in the nicest possible way OP, please make the appointment Flowers

Moanyoldcow · 08/10/2017 01:10

You sound peculiar. You have obvious symptoms of ill-health.

Just go to the fucking doctor.

nakedscientist · 08/10/2017 01:16

Your DP is totally right!

Get to the GP asap.

Wishing you well Flowers

LoveforPGTipsMonkey · 08/10/2017 01:20

a very strange attitude, OP! Are you generally so shy about your needs, put everyone first always?? I could understand if you questioned whether to go to A&E but GPs are there for routine check-ups as well as any new symptoms (others do not tend to wait for a whole list of them like you have unless they have a fear of doctors), people go there with much more minor/fleeting symptoms.

Are you aware that a normal app is 10 MINUTES? That's how much you'll 'waste' to get sent for blood tests!

pinotgrigio123 · 08/10/2017 01:22

Honestly, I know how insane it sounds that I've left it a year but I didn't realise how long it had actually been until the last month or so, I'm really bad for just trying to ignore everything & get on with things.

I'll definitely call up asap and see what their availability is like, thanks everyone Flowers

OP posts:
Mrsknackered · 08/10/2017 01:30

Wasting GP's time is 'can I have some medicine for a cold' not bloody this.
Go to the GP, likelihood is you're fine. But it could be much worse. Just get checked, everyone will feel better for it.

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