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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off at this?

17 replies

Starlighter · 06/10/2017 19:05

I feel like I’m overreacting but I feel so angry about this!

DH and DD have a number of food intolerances between them and this makes cooking dinner very difficult, but I’m constantly on websites looking for new ideas and recipes.

This can be a right pain anyway, but especially now as I’m trying to lose weight and I’m trying to eat more healthily, but both of them have turned their nose up at any meals I’ve made which have been suitable for them as well as healthy for me. But I keep trying new ideas.

Anyway, DH keeps going for lunch out at work every Friday and eats and drinks what he likes, then moans about the fallout all week.

I’m so pissed off! He constantly checks what I’ve put in our dinners and reminds me what I can and can’t cook with then swans off and stuffs his face every week with food that will make him fart and itch all weekend!

It’s his body, he can do what he likes, obviously, but AIBU to think fuck it and I’ll just cook what I want from now on?!

OP posts:
pigsDOfly · 06/10/2017 19:14

Yes it's his body so why can't he cook for it and make sure that what he puts in it meets with all his requirements both for his health and appetite.

Bloody rude, and stupid, to keep turning his nose up at what you're cooking and your efforts to keep his body comfortable and then going out and filling himself full of rubbish.

LindyHemming · 06/10/2017 19:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StylishDuck · 06/10/2017 19:19

I had an ex like this. He had terrible IBS and knew exactly what caused it to flare up yet insisted on eating/drinking all the crap every weekend then did nothing but moan about how terrible he was feeling during the week. Your sympathy kind of runs out after so many times!

I agree with leaving him to cook at least some of the meals during the week.

JennyOnAPlate · 06/10/2017 19:22

I think he needs to cook for himself from now on op.

DillyDilly · 06/10/2017 19:24

I’d let him cook his own meals. What age is your DD?

thatdearoctopus · 06/10/2017 19:26

Why are you doing all the cooking?

Original poster
Starlighter · 06/10/2017 19:41

I’m a SAHM, so I tend to all the cooking. I don’t mind, but I just saw red today when DH pulled a face at what I was cooking (again) and then the kids wouldn’t touch it and had a tantrum over it... it’s so bloody disheartening. Then DH declares he had a ‘naughty’ lunch again. Angry

Maybe separate dinners from now on then? Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
Starlighter · 06/10/2017 19:44

DD is only 5 so I definitely need to cook things that are right for her, but her intolerances are different from DH, it’s such a minefield!

OP posts:
thatdearoctopus · 06/10/2017 19:45

OK, so Monday-Friday you could cook. How about him taking over at weekends?

PegLegAntoine · 06/10/2017 19:48

Fuck that, it obviously isn't THAT important to him if he breaks his dietary needs regularly. I'd just cook to suit you and DD.

Wife of a coeliac here, DH would never willingly eat gluten and then whinge about the pain

wannabestressfree · 06/10/2017 20:05

Sorry but it can’t be that bad if he can ignore it once a week.

RandomMess · 06/10/2017 20:15

Yep tell he knows where the kitchen is and not bother with adjusting for his foibles anymore!

Original poster
Starlighter · 06/10/2017 20:16

That’s the thing, his skin is so bad at the moment from it, red and sore and blistered. But he’s got no willpower when he’s out with his workmates. It’s so frustrating. I’m trying to help but it’s getting thrown back in my face.

I think it’ll have to be separate dinners from joe though as I’m running out of ideas and patience - and I’m putting on weight from the limited things he can eat!

OP posts:
Original poster
Starlighter · 06/10/2017 20:18

*from now on!! Joe, wtf?!

OP posts:
MinervaSaidThat · 06/10/2017 20:21

No, no, no! Cook a dish you can all eat. If he won't eat it it then tough titties.

Please don't pander to the twat.

wannabestressfree · 06/10/2017 20:35

If he won’t help himself I wouldn’t be busting a gut to help him- it needs to come from him. Just cater for your daughter and say you will resume cooking when he takes his health seriously.

shakingmyhead1 · 07/10/2017 01:34

stop making a rod for you own back!,
cook one dinner and if he turns his nose up throw a tantrum ( or stomp your foot, or place the serving spoon down loudly) and yell ( or just speak firmly) " i work so damn hard trying to make you and the kids nice good healthy dinners and you all say its shit! From now on you will all eat what i make and YOU will like it!" AND " if you go out and eat the banned (whatever foods effect him) foods again and get a flare up well tough shit i wont be feeling any pity for you as you did this to your self so man up and deal with it in silence, its not like its MAN FLU!" and then stomp off...
ive had to speak firmly to Mr 9 and Ms 18 about dinners, sometimes we have a dinner which isnt his/her fave but might be someone elses fave and i cant cook Spaghetti Bolognese every single night,
and i expect everyone to eat at least 1/4 of the meal to get it a fair chance,
my husband wont insult my dinners even if i have said crap that experiment failed! he will, later go get some cereal and that's my clue he wasn't fussed

(sometimes i will see something on FB or tv and think ohhhh that sounds yum!!!! ill make that, and it turns out super shit)

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