Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

That my references not being acceptable is a bit strange?

48 replies

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 05/10/2017 21:02

I had a job interview for a local part time job earlier in the week and got it... I have an interview tomorrow for a full time one I really want so asked them for a few days to think about it.

I've been a SAHM for nearly 7 years... the references on my CV are from my previous employers, but the company I worked for closed here a few years ago and moved to Manchester and the people who were my superiors have moved on to other places.

I've had a message today to say that gmail accounts for these people are unnaceptable, and they have to come from the business address I worked for, I explained the reasons for this, and they just said I have to try..

Then I got a seperae message saying they need a reference that covers the last three years. I said that I haven't worked for the last three years, so can it be a personal one, and they said no. I have to prove what I've been doing in this time?

Is this normal? And if so how does anyone get back into work after a career break to raise a family?

OP posts:

RaeCJ82 · 05/10/2017 21:31

I have worked in recruitment for the NHS and couldn't accept hotmail/gmail type addresses. They had to be business emails. It makes sense. A candidate could easily create an email account and give themselves a glowing reference.

RaeCJ82 · 05/10/2017 21:33

The other bit about the three years that you've been a SAHM is harsh. In that case I would have accepted a personal reference from a professional who you know, like a teacher, vicar etc and then I would have checked your previous employments.

Slimthistime · 05/10/2017 21:34

Daf, the jail thing I get but there are better ways to check that aren't they?

Any candidate could still be running a satanic cult but they wouldn't be fool enough to get found out. gets ready to send weekly satanic newsletter at 3am

Justaboy · 05/10/2017 21:35

So what the hell are you supposed to do then sounds daft to me!.

leedspirate · 05/10/2017 21:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

peterpan742 · 05/10/2017 21:44

This has just happened to me. They knew my situation beforehand and still offered me the job. They sent me an email yesterday threatening to take the job off me if I can't provide written evidence from a professional of what I've been doing for the past three years (I can't and they knew before offering) which includes specific dates (e.g - September to December isn't acceptable as it doesn't have dates such as 23rd September)

eurochick · 05/10/2017 21:47

It sounds like the company still exists so contact the HR dept. From the last three years a voluntary position like the PTA would fit the bill best.

LikeTheShoes · 05/10/2017 21:49

I have written countless references for other brownie leaders who needed them to account for time as a sahp. Occasionally I'd get a follow up call, but not often.

RhiannonOHara · 05/10/2017 21:51

This sounds bonkers.

peter, your situation sounds just as nuts. Can they legitimately withdraw the offer?

Findingdotty · 05/10/2017 21:56

This actually seems fairly straight forward to sort out tbh. Give the email address for the HR department for the company that you worked for. Perhaps even email them yourself separately and let them know that they may be asked to give a reference to confirm your previous employment history. Then ask your headteacher to provide you with a reference for the PTA chair role.

emma6776 · 05/10/2017 22:00

I work in HR. We ask for 3-5 years worth of refs. We'd just need the previous employer to confirm your job title and length of service (really just to check you haven't lied on your CV), has to be a work email address or it could be anyone giving it. A PTA ref, or ref from voluntary,charity work etc would be fine for the years you've been at home. It'll be fine! Good luck xx

caringcarer · 05/10/2017 22:00

Being chair of PTA would show many skills: communicating, leadership, etc.

peterpan742 · 05/10/2017 22:01

RhiannonOHara Unfortunately they can!
I offered them a reference for some voluntary work I've done once or twice a week, but they want to know what I've been doing for the other 5 days!

There was a 19 year old there, who couldn't provide 3 employer references (they wont accept personal or academic ones) so she couldn't take the job - They're advertising it as 'ideal for college students'!!!!!

CodLiverOil556 · 05/10/2017 22:04

I’ve just had to deal with this...luckily my friend is a pre-school teacher so has written me a reference proving my CV gap. It’s absolutely bonkers and many people will struggle

HashiAsLarry · 05/10/2017 22:05

I had a similar issue a few years back, though my previous employer hr dept gave me a very basic reference and I got given the job pending the other references. My employer before them had completely restructured, my dept no longer existed and no one I'd worked with was still there so I had to give hr for them too. Company wouldn't take personal references from previous managers.

I had this argument with hr weekly for some months until I finally left them - for maternity reasons, not because of hr I hasten to add.

Wish I could give you some advice but all I can say is you're not alone.

rightnowimpissed · 05/10/2017 22:12

Peter, I would go to the Citizens advice and see if they can tell you what to do about this, I really don’t see how this is legal

CotswoldStrife · 05/10/2017 22:18

Former HR worker here and yes, I'd say it was standard to ask for work addresses not personal - it could be anyone writing the reference from a gmail account, a friend not a colleague!

It should be fine if the company confirm dates etc, rather than go into detail.

DoesHeWantToOrNot · 05/10/2017 22:27

I went for an interview a few years ago and was told I would have to ask my now ex husband for a letter proving he provided for me financially for the 4 years previous as I hadn't been working or looking after children.

I was made redundant in 2009 right at the start of the recession and other than a few Xmas temp jobs I hadn't been working.

TheEmmaDilemma · 05/10/2017 22:55

Just get the HR email. Generally it should just be confirmation you worked there and didn't get sacked for gross misconduct?

RhiannonOHara · 06/10/2017 11:07

peter, that's just perverse!

Timeywimey8 · 06/10/2017 11:24

!!!! I wonder if they'd have asked the same about a SAHdad?

If you have the gmail accounts for people you've worked with, could you email them and ask if they would be happy to be contacted on their current work email and explain why?

As other people have said, an HR reference is standard these days and will just say you were employed from a to b dates so you can contact your previous employer and ask them to confirm that assuming they still have records for you (I don't know how long you have to keep employment records)?

Isn't a refusal to accept a personal reference indirectly discriminatory as it is women who are more likely to have had career breaks and therefore be unable to provide a work reference?

DoesHeWantToOrNot · 07/10/2017 11:39

@timey I wasn't a stay at home parent though as we had no children. I just couldn't get a job.

I was worried going for my current job as I had then been with my last company for 4 years 7 months and they wanted 5 years. But they let me away with the last 5 months.

2014newme · 07/10/2017 11:42

I work in HR personal references are useless. It doesn't matter if nobody remembers you where you used to work they just want conformation you worked there.

Flip

1 2