To ask friend to babysit without partner

[2littlemoos]

My friend has offered to babysit for my birthday so DP and I can have a meal out child free. We don't have much help so she is my only option.

Problem is my toddler is scared of her partner. She tells me she is and once she screamed the place down when he walked in. Didn't calm until he left.

I feel if I let her and her DP babysit I'm sending the wrong message to my daughter and tbh I don't want her around someone she is scared off.

AIBU to ask her to babysit at ours without her partner (because she will want him there). I am aren't I?

I would not leave your dd with someone she is scared of in this way. Children need to know their fears aren't totally ignored.

You could either explain this to your friend or try sitters.com

I'm just worried she'll be offended!

Your child is SCARED. OK it might be that she's irrationally frightened, or it might be that her instincts are better than yours. You don't know. The main thing is that to your DD her fears are real and she needs you to help her.

Your friend does not need to bring her boyf to your house if your DD would be unsettled by it.

Send the wrong message?! We're talking about a toddler - so what "wrong message" is she going to take from someone she's afraid of not being at the house?

The wrong message would be that she has expressed to me that she is scared of this man and that I would be ignoring her fears by leaving her...

What I mean is it’s unreasonable to ask her but it’s also unreasonable to leave your DD with the man she’s scared of so just ask someone else.

Does he have a beard? Beards scare some children.

Nope no beard - besides her dad has one!

I'm wondering if it's his high pitched greeting to her that causes her to feel uneasy... could be anything I guess!