Another Christmas one...

[staveleymum]

My DP has a pretty dysfunctional family, parents no alive and 2 sisters. Both sisters have 2 grown up kids of their own - one has no contact with either children and the other has 4 grandchildren and even childminds for one childs 2 kids (without charge).

We are hosting Christmas and my parents and brother coming over (brother on Christmas Day as he has his kids in the morning before going to their mums). We invited DP's sister who is not in touch with her kids and she's accepted but asked if we were inviting the other sister.

Now, whilst we have a good sized house we have 2 kids ourselves and it would require us to make 3 or 4 bedrooms available if both sisters came. I hate turfing my kids out of their room at Christmas as it means they have no personal space when things are already manic.

We invited the one sister so she wouldn't be alone as we expected the other one to spend time with her own kids (at least with the one who she childminds for) but it seems she hasn't been invited!

Now I feel emotionally blackmailed to invite the other sister. I like the intimacy of Christmas morning with the kids opening stockings.

AIBU if I say to the sisters (both in late 50's) that they are welcome from midday on Christmas Day? My DB wont be here til the afternoon so it's not favoring one family over another and it means that I can have a lovely Christmas Eve/Christmas morning with the kids. Its likely to be the last before they stop believing in Santa. We'd cook Christmas Dinner for early evening so they wouldn't miss out on us feeding them either. They can then stay over til they have to head home sometime after Boxing Day.

If I was invited for Christmas I would always assume it was just for the day, never to stay unless specifically invited.

Unless they live 200 miles away, I'd say it's fine.

If the sisters have any sensitivity about them, they'll see that this is a good idea. I've always thought that opening Christmas presents is something quite personal to your own close family. I've only every widened it as far as grandparents (and my kids are now grown up).

I think that sounds perfectly reasonable and very generous!

Fine. But how many will that mean you are catering for? It sounds a bit much tbh.

Have you already invited sister 1 to stay? If so, talk to her and say you'd love to have her and sister 2 but can't accomodate them staying (they might be happy to share a room/sleep on a sofa if it is literally just them, not partners?)

If you haven't specifically mentioned overnight she might not be expecting that anyway...

Both sisters live a fair distance so overnight would be expected and they are likely to stay a couple of nights. No partners (both divorced), just them so they could share a room. Still means 3 rooms needed and we only have one spare room - my brother happy on the sofa bed in the office so will have to turf out one child and they can share a room.

Would mean 9 for Christmas dinner which is okay. I think I'll make it clear that I husband and I are NOT going to do everything and a level of help in the kitchen is to be expected (my parents and DB will do so without asking). Would it be cheeky to ask brother and siblings to contribute something (ie one to buy the turkey, one to bring the veg, etc). Given I'll be doing breakfasts lunch and dinners for the rest of their stay it could get quite expensive. My parents already make and bring other food such as puddings, stuffings, chocolates, etc.

I don't think you can invite them to stay and ask them to bring the turkey. Turkeys are £50-60.you could ask them to bring good wine or something.
How long will they stay for?

You can ask them to contribute but asking a single person to bring the turkey is royally taking the piss (unless they're Betnard Matthews).

Tbh it all sounds quite stressful I'd probably just invite them for boxing day

Seconding inviting them for boxing day if possible, make a thing of it, a buffet or something and say everyone is bringing something and tell them what to bring if you think they'd bring something unsuitable.

If it has to be xmas day you're really not unreasonable to say when they can come round and to bring something. But I wouldn't say the turkey. A pudding or cake or wine yeah, but turkey's can be really expensive, esp for so many people.