To still be pissed off?

[Pissedoffinsomniac]

Please tell me if IABU/PFB/hand me a grip if justified.

DD is one next week. Having a party for her next weekend with her little pals (no dramas there but there's still time!) as her actual birthday is during the week.
DH and I both put in leave requests at work to have her actual birthday off so we could do something as a family. DH has since told me he has cancelled his leave to go to a work meeting that he wasn't asked to go to but thinks it may help him with an internal move within his work place (no guarantees mind you). This meeting is at the other end of the country so he will be leaving before DD wakes and back after her bedtime. He has since taken the day before her birthday off but to me that's not good enough.
AIBU to still be seething days after being told that DH has effectively chosen to work over spending the day with his only child on her first birthday?

My parents worked several nights per week, so growing up, everyone's birthday was moved to the nearest non work night. I grew up, I survived, and I don't need any ongoing therapy because sometimes we had our family dinner on the 3rd instead of the 2nd.

I can see why you feel slightly aggrieved, but I think this is one of those "suck it up" situations. He's offering a very meaningful alternative: to spend time together another day. It really doesn't matter whether a birthday is celebrated on the day itself, or on another day for sake of convenience, as long as the person feels spoiled!

OP, in a few years' time, you'll be telling her to get a grip and having to explain to her that she has to go to school on her birthday, just like everybody else.

Also, assuming this isn't the tip of the iceberg for some wider issue with your DH, the fact that he's putting himself out there career-wise and prepared to push himself and support his family has to be a good thing, surely?

There seem to be so many threads about waster husbands always at the moment so the fact you've got someone who's motivated and career-driven, but still wants to take time off to spend with his family sounds like you're in an ideal situation. Don't look for problems where there aren't any!