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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dh is so bloody literal.

9 replies

CredulousThickos · 04/10/2017 06:23

He has had a bad back on and off for months now, by on and off I mean he gets respite from it for a few days before it flares up again.

Sometimes he has to lay on the floor, he finds it difficult to sit at his desk, driving is uncomfortable, stretching gives him momentary relief.

He will not go to the doctor.

His reasoning is that when he went before (five years ago!), he was told to come back when it had been painful for six weeks. Four weeks later (which was Boxing Day iirc), I dragged him to the walk in because he couldn’t move at all. That was sciatica and he was immobile for two weeks and on a cocktail of painkillers.

This back pain has been going on for months but because it hasn’t been CONSTANT for six weeks he won’t go and see the GP. Because that’s what the last GP told him. Even though that was his first ever back complaint and he was subsequently bedbound for a fortnight.

This is the man who had to be strong armed into seeing the doctor with his ‘tummy ache’ which was a burst appendix and he nearly died.

I’ve just been quite shirty with him and told him to make an appt after he’s hobbled in and out of the shower. He said hmm I might do if it still hurts on Friday. The whole ‘but it hasn’t been constant for six weeks and that’s what they said’ is making me want to batter him over the head. He’s in pain and won’t get help for it.

How can I convince him?

OP posts:
araiwa · 04/10/2017 06:27

As someone who has suffered back knack previously, seeing a doc and getting referred for correct treatment was a fucking godsend

rosie1959 · 04/10/2017 06:28

Try getting him to see a good osteopath found them more use with bad backs

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 04/10/2017 06:30

If the surgery do telephone appointments then maybe suggest that he rings them - it might seem less dramatic for him. Would he book to see a physio/chiropractor etc instead? I have found McTimoney chiropractors to be really good.

CredulousThickos · 04/10/2017 06:47

It’s actually easier to get a same day appt at our GP than it is to get a phone consult. Chiropractor etc is a good idea but then I think he’ll resent paying money for it.

I’ve just said to him, look, what’s the worst that can happen? They send you away. Best case is they treat your back. You have NOTHING to lose and everything to gain. He’s gone off to work saying he’ll think about it today.

OP posts:
NewPapaGuinea · 04/10/2017 08:58

The original doctor didn't mean a constant 6 weeks, just if you still experience the symptoms after 6 weeks. 6 weeks of constant back pain would send anyone insane. Say if you aren't going to get help then he cannot moan about it.

blackteasplease · 04/10/2017 09:02

Yeah, no way did the gp mean it has to be constant.

Is this one if those situations where they don't want help as it's a vg excuse for a lie down and to pass work on to you? I say that as someone who suffers from recurrent back pain.

PinkDaffodil2 · 04/10/2017 09:05

They didn't mean it had to be there constantly for 6 weeks. Surely he realises the doctors can help him still?
I'm sure he knows that though, question is why is he avoiding going?
I wouldn't put up with moaning or have much sympathy with someone refusing to go get help.
They certainly won't turn him away. It sounds quite bad. What treatment is he using at the moment? Any over the counter stuff / physio / chiropractor?

CredulousThickos · 04/10/2017 09:13

I know they didn’t mean six constant weeks. He is just ridiculously literal. He’s served up half cooked pizzas before because the instructions said 12 minutes so he cooked them for 12 exact minutes. He’s not that bad these days but he obvs still has his moments.

He’s not using it as an excuse, he’s very ‘hands on’ with all aspects. He’s taking ibuprofen but that’s it.

He’s one of those people who won’t seek help unless his leg is hanging off. I’m going to keep badgering him.

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 04/10/2017 09:36

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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