Have people become more self absorbed/rude?

[wobblywonderwoman]

In the workplace etc ?

I don't want to make a sweeping statement (though I know I have)
I am dealing with rudeness/selfishness/tunnel vision constantly.

Today an admin staff quite rude (despite seeing I was really up to my eyes with 'frontline' public work?)

I am always kind and pleasant to people and get this person a gift every so often

I won't be again

thecatfromjapan - I like your name.

I think people say 'thanks', 'sorry' etc all the time when they don't mean it at all. I prefer honesty to fake manners, at least you know where you stand.

yes, and it's our fault, we have raised a snowflake generation of 20-somethings who feel the world owes them a C-level salary, etc, when all they want to do is take selfies.

What a load of ageist nonsense.

They were more polite and lovely if you happened to be a straight white male. If you were of any sort of foreign extraction, were a woman, gay, disabled, or in any way different, then you were completely discriminated against, excluded, ripe for jokes and harassment, the whole lot

Exactly. It’s laughable that people think people are ruder these days than they were in times gone by. Really really laughable.

I think it may be valued less, I don't think that selflessness or kindness are values that are looked upon as positives as much as they were.

As I was growing up I was always very selfless (read: total doormat) and naively assumed others felt the same.

Time and experience and counselling have taught me that, ultimately, people care about themselves first and foremost. I'm trying to retain my empathy and willingness to help, but also trying to put myself first a bit more.

Perhaps other people and other generations have come to that realisation rather faster.

Looking back at what was happening around 100-120 years ago in Europe, I do think that there are times when "the greater good" forces us to work together (wartime, natural disasters, etc) and times when we don't have to worry about our survival quite so much and can afford to be more selfish. In the 1800s there was much concern about the idle youth of the day. The Great War sorted that out...

Of course we need to work together as a species to ensure our ultimate survival, so the current (apparent) trend away from this in the Western world isn't a good thing for humans.

I am mid fifties.
I think service has improved in shops a lot over the years.
I think people are ruder in workplaces in general. But workplaces used to be much more formal than today.
I think some older people have always been pretty rude, I don't know if it is illness, but since I was a child there have always been some rude older people.
I think mums with kids are generally ruder than in the past.

Snowflake is not about rudeness. It is about a self centredness and lack of resilience, and yes that has increased. Not young people's fault though, it is the older generation's fault, we are the ones who raised them.

I think mums with kids are generally ruder than in the past.

What about dads with kids? In what way would you say mums with kids are ruder? Not being goady just genuinely curious.

I said mums, because it is mums I see out and about taking care of young kids. It is rare to see dads doing this. I just see some mums and kids totally oblivious to the impact they and their kids are having. For example, kids running about in cafes. Actually thinking about it, those mums and kids always existed, but in the past others would have told the kids off and stopped them misbehaving. What has changed is the idea that only parents can tell kids off. That is a newer development. So badly behaved kids now just carry on annoying everyone.

Don't think so, as has been pointed out the whole 'people have become ruder' has been said for thousands of generations.

In the last 60 odd years there's far less ridity in the social architecture. People are not longer (well ideal 'not' but it's really more less so) expected to 'know their place" and defer to their 'betters'. There was a defined hierarchy bases on race, sex, age, and class.

Those no longer doffing their cap and acting as equal to those that consider themselves better are seen as rude.

Of course there are rude people about. But no more than there has ever been.

Disagree TizzyDongue I think some groups of people have become less rude, and some more, and these are linked to changes in society.
So staff in service industries especially shops are much politer than they used to be. That is because companies train and monitor this far more than they used to. Just basic things like if you used to ask in a shop where something was, a bored worked usually used to point to another part of the shop - and say over there. Now they are trained to take you there. The bored teenage shop assistants that used to be a feature of Saturday shopping, and were sometimes very rude, have more or less gone.

But some groups are more rude now. The way society is run affects how people behave. There are always some people who will be rude if they can get away with it. Those who can get away with it has changed.

There's still bored Saturday staff out there. That's not changed!

brasty what groups do you think are less rude and which groups are ruder? Think you are being more specific in your thinking and I'm being general.

When do you imagine the loveliest people lived?

Because I know when my grandma was growing up, working conditions were brutal. Her boss used to kick her in the head and call her "Bloody Irish Mary here...." Workers certainly have more rights than they used to and working conditions were exhausting.

And prior to that people were brutal to the lower and working classes. And women had no rights at all.

Do you mean the 70s? That time of enlightenment when men could get away with abusing women at work and women would have to laugh it off?

I think people have always been horrible to each other tbh.

There are still bored Saturday staff out there, but they are now trained and monitored to ensure they give good service. The rude Saturday shop assistant is way more scarce than it once was.

I said above that I think some people are ruder in the workplace. But workplaces used to be far more formal than now days. It was the 80s and the City that led this change.

Also parents and kids are in general ruder. They have always existed, but in the past strangers would readily tell off badly behaved kids whether parents were there or not. That has totally changed. So now they carry on being badly behaved, with everyone thinking they should say nothing.

I am well aware there used to be far more sexual harassment and racism in the workplace. I am a feminist and am not arguing things were better in the past and that people were lovelier. Simply that the way certain things are run now, make some things okay or easy to get away with, that you could not have in the past.

There is still racism and sexual harassment in the workplace. But it is less common than it used to be because employers under the force of the law, have had to do this.

There is no point just saying it is people, social structures. laws and mores do affect how people act.

ha ha WhatToDoAboutThis2017 touched a nerve?

Nope; you've just proven yourself to be ageist, which means everyone can pretty much discount anything else you've posted.

Sorry, only saw responses.
Susanthegentle loved those quotes. I think I may just be getting old - it is true