Yesterday my ds turned 17. He was very disappointed that he didn't get a card from his nan. His dad (dh) died when he was young and he and dd have always maintained a relationship with their paternal grandparents. Last year their lovely grandad sadly passed away, they were both obviously very upset. Since this happened my niece has had another baby which means that she has 4 under 6 and spends a lot of time with her nan and her nan often babysits them all. Ds and dd now rarely see their nan even though they often ask to visit, she's too busy or tired from looking after the babies. They miss her very much and its not that they need any looking after, they are 15 and 17, they just want to spend time with her. Yesterday was the first time she has missed one of their birthdays, she lives close and drives and mentioned a quick happy birthday on Facebook. I don't want to fall out I have a good relationship with their nan, but seeing the kids upset isn't nice. AIBU? WWYD?