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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Considering moving DD to another nursery

12 replies

FindTheLightSwitchDarren · 02/10/2017 21:34

DD (dc1) is almost 3yo and recently started nursery / pre-school.

There have been a few minor problems, but nothing serious and it's all a bit vague, so apologies in advance. Basically, a few things have made me feel a bit wary.

For example;

  • we don't see her key worker very much or at all some weeks.
  • we weren't getting much info about her day at pick up (though I'm told this is normal for pre-school type nurseries). They have started to do a bit of a handover now after I mentioned it.
  • there was a mix up with our consent forms, so they ended up putting some pictures of DD up on fb without our consent. Not a big problem for us, but still not ideal.
  • There was a bit of a miscommunication and a staff member told me, (one day at drop off), not to bring in changes of clothes for DD, (who is potty training), as they took up too much space in the cloakroom. The nursery had already said that 5 sets of clothes need to be provided for potty training children, so this is what I had been doing. The staff member was quite belligerent about it tbh, and it made me feel quite uncomfortable. It probably sounds a bit dramatic, but I am a (fairly) articulate adult; if she had that effect on me, it made me wonder how she is around young children who can't really stick up for themselves. I mentioned it to the manager, who said that the staff member had been mistaken about the clothes and apologised for the misunderstanding, so fine, but it left a bad taste.
  • This could be unrelated to nursery, but Dd's behaviour has changed a bit recently; lots of tantrums and some aggression.

She has mentioned a few times about staff at the nursery getting cross with her and she parrots their 'telling off' voice to me sometimes. Nothing awful, just an irritable, "oh alRIGHT" when we ask her to do something. It's not something we tend to say and it sounds like something an adult would say, if that makes sense.

DD often doesn't want to go to nursery and I have a hard time getting her there in the mornings, but this could easily just be because she likes hanging out at home.

It's all very vague, so apologies, but basically, I just don't get a very good feel from the place and the staff seem a little bit hit and miss to me, from the limited contact I have with them.

There is another nursery, which we also looked round when we were looking at the current one. I got a better vibe from it and it has a better OFSTED rating (though I know they aren't terribly reliable). There wasn't much in it at the time though, so we went with the current nursery, as it is next to the school which we think DD will end up attending and we thought it would be better for her to be familiar with the area. The deadline to apply for a place at the other nursery is coming up soon and I'm wondering what to do.

Any advice appreciated.

OP posts:
selly24 · 02/10/2017 21:43

Trust you instincts. Move her to the other nursery. The issues don't sound great to be honest.

Ttbb · 02/10/2017 21:49

I would move her. Some of the stuff is vague, some of it is common (like the bot wanting to go) but if you found the staff hostile and your daughter changed I would move her just in case. You may also want try 'sneaking up' on them at pick up/drop off. If there are windows/door that you can look through when going in look otherwise just very quietly come into the room. Try to come early a couple of times as well. After doing this a few times at DS first nursery we noticed that the staff we often sat around chatting to each other ignoring the children. We also saw the snatch things from the children. Needless to say we moved him to a different nursery and the experience has been very different.

MaroonPencil · 02/10/2017 21:55

I moved DS when he started nursery aged 3, and I am very happy I did. Henever settled and nobody seemed able to help him do so, like you we didn't see the key worker much, there never seemed to be anyone to hand him over to, and I felt it was all too academic as well. He was much happier at another nursery and I have never had any regrets about moving him even though I hate confrontation and found it very hard to tell the first nursery we were going.

Carouselfish · 02/10/2017 21:56

Trust your instincts.
I had mine in a nursery at a private school, outstandng ofsted. First she came to me at collection with her clothes stinking on the outside of poo. She had a change of clothes in her bag they hadn't used.
Her lunchbox always came back empty but when I asked what she'd had, it was only a bit of some of the things. If i hadnt asked I'd not have known.
Then she got a urine infection two days after nursery. First time ever. Cleared it up. Two days after the next session she got another one.

i arrived early and saw her 22months, being frog marched across the playground.
She always cried about going and said 'miss mummy'.
Pulled her. Never had a urine infection since.

Carouselfish · 02/10/2017 21:59

I should explain - there was a holiday between sessions/urine infections so it wasn't the same one recurring.

Phoenix76 · 02/10/2017 22:05

I agree with everyone, trust your instincts, get her moved. Good luck.

Jenijena · 02/10/2017 22:07

I moved DS for similarly vague reasons - best thing we did.

FindTheLightSwitchDarren · 02/10/2017 22:13

Thanks.

Part of me really wants to just pull her out of nursery asap. I'm a sahm, so she doesn't 'need' to be there unless it's for her benefit. Though, we are expecting another baby in January, so I don't want to unsettle dd any more than we have to before that.

I've already asked the nursery to reduce her hours from two full days to three mornings per week, but I think I'm going to apply to the other nursery too. The earliest she could start there would be January.

OP posts:
livingdownsouth · 02/10/2017 22:20

I work in a nursery and I'm normally gritting my teeth at the nursery posts on MN. However, the mimicking of the "telling off" voice would have me moving a child. It sounds like you have persevered and are still not happy. Trust your instincts and move your daughter.

Coloursthatweremyjoy · 02/10/2017 22:32

Trust your instincts and move her. I teach early Years and there are some terrible places and practitioners out there. The alright!! Would give me cause to move on its own.

Jayfee · 02/10/2017 22:38

Really you should trust your instincts.

FindTheLightSwitchDarren · 03/10/2017 07:44

Thanks for all the input. It's good to know that I'm not massively overreacting! I'll print out the app forms for the other nursery asap. She only has one more week of two full days and I'm going to drop her off late and pick her up early.

OP posts:
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