AIBU to think that this person is taking the piss...

[Fuckingsickofpeppa]

Bit of background... Neighbour has a DD same age as my DD. They go to the same nursery. I don't work - am currently looking for a job. My neighbour works part time. My neighbour has 3 DC and is seriously thinking about having another.

Our DDs have been at their nursery for 4 weeks. At least one day per week my neighbour texts me (very last minute) and asks if I can pick up her DD "while I'm down the road". Yes, I do only have one DC and I normally am collecting my DD. She sent me a message today asking if I can collect her DD, give her lunch and keep her for an hour after nursery 2 days this week.

I feel like she's taking advantage a bit... DH is starting to feel the same.

Am I being a cow?!

Say no?

Nope, she's taking the piss. Very least she could do woukd be to have the conversation face to face!!

Stop it, and stop it now! Otherwise it’ll be two hours, then half a day, then two kids, then three.

I’ll wager she hasn’t even offered to cover the cost of lunch or have your DD.

Is there a problem with you doing that? Personally I wouldn't mind.

Just say 'No, I'd rather not thanks.'

yanbu but you will have to say something or lie,bloody cheek

I used to take a little boy to school, his mum was a hardworking nurse and I didn't mind helping out, until one day road works prevented me from getting to her house. She went absolutely mad at me. I thought that's it that's the end of that!

Nip this in the bud now or you'll find yourself providing full-time childcare for free

You don't always have to have your phone so close to pick up... What would happen if you didn't get the message?

This will probably not be ideal but i would pretend that you didnt get the message and not pick up the child.

Make it clear to her that you will not be a childminder for her.

Oooh, you've got a CF on your hands!!!

I speak from personal experience when I say this is a very slippery slope. It may start with the odd pick up and ease into a couple of lunches but when they see you are either willing to help or unable to say no you will be asked for more. Say no, and dont apologise or explain yourself. Their childcare is not your problem, but soon will be if you keep it up

Errr, say no?

If she pays, maybe, but otherwise, no, she's a CF.

I used to pick up a little one from school whenever her dm asked me. One day she asked my dh to tell me. He forgot. Country school so no danger to child. She literally roared and screamed at me even though she knew l never got the message. NEVER AGAIN!!

Thanks all. You've reassured me that it's ok to say no.

What's a CF?!?! Cheeky fucker by any chance?

I really don't mind doing the odd pick up once in a while. I do feel that she needs to take some responsibility for her arrangements and perhaps not have another child if she can't manage the 3 she has.

Does she ever reciprocate?

Don't do it I ended up with a third child most days doing this. Started off as could you pick ... up on Monday to the following week it was Monday and Wednesday then it was constant asking then it was just expected. I'm too nice to just say look I'm not doing it no more but when I started working again she was screwed

I'd just NEVER ask her to reciprocate because she has 3 kids of her own. She's never offered either - hey ho!

It depends on whether this mother is facing some particular difficulty at the moment which means she needs friends to really round and support her or if her life is ticking along pretty normally and she's just pushing to see how much you will do.

I would probably agree to help out this week but also let her know that I couldn't do it after that so, if she needed a long term arrangement, she needed to look elsewhere.

Thank you all! Good advice and you're all making me feel like less of a cow!

No because you're going straight into town, no because you feel crappy and are sure it's highly contagious, no because you don't have enough food in, no because she's s CF and needs to go away.

You're looking for a job; she needs childcare that fits in with your day... can you politely ask to make this a solid business arrangement instead?

Just say no and the next time she asks you to pick up her DD last minute just say sorry, no I won't be able to do that as I'm meeting a friend straight from nursery.......