To write about this AGAIN!!

[unhingedtoday]

I have name changed as I am embarrassed to go on about this. I don’t know why I’m writing about it again!
I am severely afraid of vomit, it takes over my life. My husband gets so annoyed with me because vomit probably affects most people’s lives about 5% of the time, but I worry about it 100% of the time.
I am having hypno, have done CBT 3 times, had counselling, acupuncture, am working through the Thrive programme, but I’m still struggling.
My DS has started school and I dread everyday rage he will catch something, or I will hear about a sickness bug in the playground. It is literally ruining my life and it fucking horrible.
I don’t know what I’m asking really, just how much of your like is taken over by vomit and how do you deal with it??
I feel like such a child being afraid of something so silly!

Don't feel silly over it. Vomit is very unpleasant for anyone.
I dread my DC vomiting but when they do get ill and it happens then my motherly instinct kicks in and I swing into action.
Would obviously rather it wouldn't happen though but who wouldn't. Unfortunately it's inevitable, children are going to get sick.

If you have tried different kinds of therapy then I'm not sure what will help you to be honest. Is there a reason deep down maybe that you think may be the cause of you being really scared? Are you scared of vomiting yourself while cleaning up? Or becoming ill yourself?

Emetophobia is a real thing, as I'm sure your therapy will have told you. Your DH shouldn't dismiss your fear or get annoyed with you, as it's something you can't control.

I am emetophobic, and last year it became a real issue, with anxiety building to the point where I was barely going out as I was scared of being sick (with no reason to think I might be). I ended up at the GP, who prescribed citalopram to help me deal with the anxiety, and a course of CBT.

I found the CBT really helpful, as the therapist validated my concerns and didn't dismiss them as irrational fears. I'm still on the citalopram nearly a year later, as it has really helped me to manage my feelings of anxiety.

Perhaps if the therapy isn't helping you, then a visit to your GP to explain and ask for medication to take the edge off might be in order?

Thanks guys. I’m on citalopram and have been for many years.
I think I’ll try CBT again, can’t harm to try again.
I think I am most frightened about the fact that it can come on so quickly and I have no control over my DS’s body so can’t stop it from happening!
When you say it’s inevitable, how often do your children get vommy bugs?

You have an extreme phobia of vomit......yet went ahead with pregnancy/becoming a parent?

So you can manage your phobia if you really want to?

heebie what are you on about?

Not often OP, DS1 is nearly 11 and has only had a vomiting bug once (however, car sickness is another story....). I have come down with it more than my DC have - ie. when they have had it I have disinfected everything in sight, but when I've come down with it I was caught unawares somewhere else. DS2 , only once too I think, although it went on for ages. Were you alright with all the milk sick when your DC was a baby?

I don't have a fear of vomit but the smell or even seeing it does make me throw up. We do therefore keep bowls by each child in the car, and a bucket in their bedroom. Kids are 2 and 4 so able to at least try to be sick into something. I also will just chuck clothes / bedding if really bad as otherwise I end up in a never ending cleaning loop

Can you put some practical measures in place to help you plan how you will cope?

My 14mo has only vomited 3 times in his life so far. Not all babies are sicky babies

Before I got preg I was in a much better state mental wise, otherwise I wouldn’t have had a child. Since I have had him my fears and anxieties have got much worse, I guess because I could avoid sick when it was just me and dh to worry about! Now everywhere I look is a potential contamination!
Baby sick I was okish with, I’m even ok if he vomits from coughing too much, I’m not great with it, but ok.
It’s the stomach bugs that scare the life out of me!
It’s a horrendous phobia and I wouldn’t wish it on my worse enemy! I really want another child, but I don’t think I can because of this phobia 😞
Please tell me more about how often it happens, that seems to help!

My dd(9) has had three instances - all of which consisted of her vomiting between once and 6 times over 2 days.

My ds (5) has had it more, four/five times now, but is never sick more than once or twice (but complains about feeling sick for longer)

You sound so desperate, I can't imagine how debilitating this is for you. I really hope you find a way to manage xx

DS (6) has only had 2 episodes of vomiting. Both times caught from me, not the school. Absolutely nothing as a baby/toddler. So sorry you're suffering through this, and I hope you manage to find a way to cope xx

I've heard of emetophobes being prescribed anti emetic meds that block the actual vomit if you take it as soon as nausea begins. Sometimes taking the fear that you are actually going to vom away can really help.... tho wouldn't do much about fear of other people/kids vomiting.

Maybe if dh is so much more ok about it, he can be vomit monitor

I know exactly what you mean, my phobia isn’t as fierce as yours but I only vomit if it’s 100% uncontrollable as the thought petrifies me. I hate it when it happens, I’d rather have the shits for a week than vomit just once. Even talking about it, ironically, makes me feel sick. I didn’t know CBT was an option though to help!

And I had anxiety in both my pregnancies because I was scared of getting morning sickness. I did in the first few weeks with DS and I was utterly miserable from it. Luckily by week 9 it had gone

Mine got sick bugs more before they started school & the older they got, the more their immune system seemed to kick in.

I feel your pain though OP as I've got emetophobia & it's horrible!!!

I struggled with fear of vomiting all my life. I hoped that I would be lucky and not get sick in pregnancy as my mum and sister never did so took the risk - and developed hyperemesis! It was my worst nightmare and I remember sobbing and sobbing and seeing no way out, but as I vomited frequently every single day for five months (when it fortunately improved), the fear and anxiety lessened and although I still feel the panic, I am so much better nowadays because I know I can handle it. It doesn't last long; it doesn't kill you - it is ok and you are strong enough to get through.

I was never afraid of the pain of childbirth, only of puking in labour. I refused all pain meds because I was frightened they might make me sick so I gave birth with just a couple of paracetamol, so I will say that I understand the extent of the fear but for me, actually going through it forced me to develop coping strategies.

My kids have very rarely been sick, but the youngest (yes, I went through hyperemesis again, that's how much better I got!) gets very distressed at the thought of vomiting so I worry he will suffer as well. I try to be very calm of any of them ever do get sick; it is hard but you cope because you have to.

I have antiemetics and think they are great.
My DS has had a couple of bad tummy bugs, and actually when it is happening I do ok with it, it’s then the waiting for me and DH to get it!
And when I hear about them going round it’s the waiting and wondering about whether DS will get it. I bloody hate it!

It's definitely the anticipation that's the worst. My three DDs all have coeliac disease and have had severe gluten poisoning three times in the last year (all due to restaurants not taking due care and attention ). When this happens, within 2 hours, they are all vomiting violently, uncontrollably and constantly for 3-4 hours. The last time this happened we were at a hotel for a family wedding and ended up stuck in a toilet cubicle, all four of us together, while they got the worst out of their system (3 hours).

Once it's happening I can deal with it, it's just the thought that it might happen is what makes me anxious. It used to also be the idea of any of us vomiting away from the house that made me extra anxious, but after the hotel incident, I realised I can cope anywhere.

I do like to be in control of things, and my therapist made me realise that part of my emetophobia is to do with feeling out of control of the situation. No one can help being sick (unless they're uncontrollably drunk) and it's that feeling not being able to stop the inevitable that bothers me.

I very rarely drink alcohol these days, but as a student, I spent many nights sitting up in bed not closing my eyes to avoid the feeling of the room spinning which would make me feel sick. Everyone used to say 'just be sick - you'll feel much better', but I simply couldn't, unless it was absolutely unavoidable.

In fact, just typing this is making me feel nauseous!! Probably not helping you unhinged but just wanted to let you know you're not alone!

Oh that sounds awful for your kids and you! I expect they take it in their stride though?? I admire you for dealing with that.
I have a friend who has two children and they both had really bad reflux, and milk allergy, she spent the first few years of each child in a haze of vomit and I can’t believe how well she copes with it all!

Hi,

I have worked with a lot of people who suffer from a fear of being sick and it can be extremely debilitating. It is great to hear that you, unhingedtoday, are doing the Thrive Programme (specifically Cure your Emetophobia & Thrive) - this is shown, through research, to be the single most effective way of overcoming this fear completely.

The programme teaches you everything you need to know about your thinking and teaches you how to change your thinking habits so that you feel confident, comfortable, resilient i.e. you are thriving. When you are thriving in life you don't have any anxieties.

If you need any help in any way e.g. with the programme then please get in touch because I am a licensed Thrive Programme Consultant - I am more than happy to give you some tips or take you through the whole programme.
One thing you can do now is challenge your thoughts - a belief is only a belief because it's a thought that you keep thinking (every day and many times a day). If you stop having that thought it will no longer be a belief. I appreciate that this takes vigilance, but if you work at it for a few weeks, you can change the way you feel and believe. For example, instead of thinking "I can't cope with the kids being sick" change it to "The kids being sick may be unpleasant but I can get through it". Any habit takes persistence to change or overcome.

I hope this helps.
Best wishes
Ali

I could have written that post! I only became really anxious about it after children born. Citalopram and counselling did help but have had to back on ADs twice over 10 years. Like you, it's the tummy bugs that bother me, not the actual vomiting hence I have a fear of diarrhoea too. I'm a nurse which I don't think helps.
I am an obsessive checker of food hygiene ratings and won't eat shellfish just in case, or chicken unless I've cooked it myself!
I think exposure does help - when the dcs have been ill I've coped just as well as anyone else albeit with excessive hand washing and bleaching.
for you