To leave my job over someone else's affair?

[Anonanon100]

I've got to keep this really vague as the woman in question might be on here

I have a lovely job, it's not a career, but it's well paid, flexible and I'm generally treated well. However my manager has started an affair with another colleague, which only two of us know about (small business) and the couple in question don't know that I know.

I know vaguely the man's wife, and she is lovely. Would never harm anyone, a wonderful mum, and the last person who deserves a cheating twat for a husband. I do not know her well enough to tell her, plus then my work colleagues would know it was me who revealed all.

I ignored it at first but now it's really getting me down. I have to deal with seeing it every day. Because she is the boss of the small business they don't really make any real attempt to hide it. The other person who knows is close to both me and the boss, and she's said that they have no intention of telling anyone.

I feel so bad for the wife, and it's making me a bit depressed (partly due to my own relationship insecurities) and I don't want to have to deal with this at work. Not only that, but I have been forced to collude by lying about their wherabouts.

AIBU to leave my perfectly lovely job because of someone else's affair? Or should I crack on and try and ignore it?

Is your job really as "good" now as it was before this affair, it would grate on me and make the job just as crappy as one i didn't really like in the first place.

TBH get a new job with the same or better money is probably your only option, becasue this is your boss having the affair when it goes tits up she'll be impossible to get on with I'd imagine.

Keep your head down and work on. The affair will works itself out without you and you shouldn’t have to suffer.

I wouldn't leave a good job over it, however, how much longer will it be a good job?

Realistically, this isn't going to go on forever, someone else will see them, or the affair will lose it's sparkle and one of them will end it, or they will decide to make a go of it and tell their partners. Either way, at some point, the shit will hit the fan, and you are going to be effected one way or another, but being the only person in this mess without any say or control over what happens.

I wouldn't walk out, but start to quietly look for something else that would suit you as well as this does. Don't jump before you need to, keep an eye out for anything that would suit you as well as this job does.

Don't presume if you don't tell and they don't, the wife will never find out though - people having affairs often stop being quite so careful after a while and they relax into their new relationship.

Your paid to do a job OP, not interfere with other people's business.
If anyone asks you to cover up etc, just say that you want absolutely nothing to do with it and get on with your work.

Now would be a good time to ask for a raise. If they say no, point out how valuable discreet employees who know how to take the initiative and use that discretion are.

Play this right and your job could get a whole lot lovelier.

Is there any way you could ‘help’ the wife find out for herself?

Ignore it. If you leave they'll be something / someone you don't like at the new job.

"Now would be a good time to ask for a raise. If they say no, point out how valuable discreet employees who know how to take the initiative and use that discretion are. "

WTF I don't think blackmailing her boss is a great idea!!

I would be wondering how long it would stay a 'lovely' job if your feeling pressured into lying about the affair and feeling guilty about the wife? It's fair enough to say just don't cover for them but that will change the office dynamics! There will be a attitude shift from the manger towards you! I'd start looking for a job elsewhere. My experience is even if you do nothing your lovey job will be a nightmare by Christmas