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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think my initial is M?

48 replies

UsernameInvalid66 · 01/10/2017 22:32

My surname beings with Mac- but there isn't a capital letter after the Mac. For the purpose of illustration I'm going to use "Macsomething". Not MacSomething and certainly not McSomething. The lack of a capital letter is not some faddy thing we've made up, it's been spelt that way in DH's family for at least 4 generations that we know of. DH was using the initial M for his surname when I first knew him (though he doesn't very often need a surname initial as his first name is fairly rare in our age group).

I work in a place where there are other people with the same first name as me. I've been there for about 10 years and have always signed myself "Username M" when I need to use an initial but invariably when someone else writes my name, they write "Username Mac" or even more annoyingly, "Username Mc" or very occasionally "Username Mac/McS". It's not necessary as there isn't another Username M. I haven't made a big deal of it, just continued to use M myself, but it slightly pisses me off every time someone adds the unnecessary letters. They don't call Username Harrison (name changed!) "Username Har", or Username Przewalska "Username Prz"!

As I said, I haven't actually complained about this because I half think it would just be petty, especially after so long, but AIBU just to find it a bit annoying?

OP posts:

Jasharps · 01/10/2017 23:02

I kind of understand. I am an Mc with capital after the Mc and get irritated if it's NOT capitalised so understand the reverse although am happy with just M or McP as initials

MrsEricBana · 01/10/2017 23:03

I see what you're saying - my maiden name has identical issue - but not sure why it bothers you as such.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 01/10/2017 23:04

Do the people doing it, see what you yourself do? In many offices correspondence tends to be in one direction & they might not see how you do it. I can well see people just doing what they believe is right or having an 'Oh crap, what should I do moment' if they don't get stuff from you and it wouldn't bother me. However, if they do get stuff from you then they're being massively rude not to follow your lead.

deste · 01/10/2017 23:09

I was a McP........ and those were my initials. So the way you have described it, your initials would be McS.......... I would say they have misspelled their own name for four generations.

Jenna43 · 01/10/2017 23:09

You're being really petty. I've got a name that has a few different spellings, I've dealt with this my whole life, no-one ever gets my name right, I couldn't give a monkeys. You're very lucky that this is all you have in life to be pissed off about.

Rinceoir · 01/10/2017 23:11

I have an O’ name. Always given ROS as initials. Happy with that!

deste · 01/10/2017 23:16

Sorry just re-read and you would be MacS.

mirime · 01/10/2017 23:17

"But Tre isn't a word of its own is it?"

Means town in Welsh, I imagine it means something similar in Cornish.

WaveWash · 01/10/2017 23:18

At worst this is a minor irritation. I couldn't get bothered by it myself. I have a name that is often misspelt and it doesn't bother me in the slightest if people get it wrong. I sometimes correct people an sometimes I don't. 🤷🏻‍♀️

We have a common surname with an apostrophe in it and I am suprised at how often people and 'tehnology' can't seem to cope with it. Sometimes the apostrophe gets converted to a space and sometimes it just dissapears. So, for example D'arcy become D Arcy or Darcy. I don't care though 😂

There are too many things in the world to worry about I don't think this issue should be one of them.

midnightmisssuki · 01/10/2017 23:19

It's obviously bothered you enough to come on here to explain and ask the opinions of random women. Why not just tell them it bothers you?!

crazymissdaisy · 01/10/2017 23:28

Out of interest, Would Morgana le Fay have signed her emails Morgana L? Or Morgana Le F.? I agree with you OP, if their isn't a space or a capital letter it's been elided into the surname and therefore your whole surname starts with an M.

savagehk · 01/10/2017 23:35

My surname has a space in it. I'd not be bothered about capitalisation or otherwise (although there is a 'right' way to do it), the existence of the space is the problem! I get the equivalent of being (in your example) Mrs Something (dropping the 'mac' entirely); and have had computers reject my 'invalid' surname before

My favourite is that the bank keeps deciding the bit before the space is either DH's middle name or the whole thing is a set of extra initials. We have a joint bank account and my surname's exactly the same, but it's his that the computer keeps defaulting out . I've given up correcting the bank now... it's interesting to see it change each time after it's been corrected manually over the course of a few letters.

Poppyfields21 · 01/10/2017 23:47

Why is everyone so hypocritical?! I've read so many posts recently about how offensive and rude it is to not use exactly the pronunciation someone dictates for their name, so why is this so different?! If the OP wants to be referred to as Ms M then she bloody well should be?! How ludicrous to bring up the origins of the name generations and generations ago. If someone's name was Henrietta you wouldn't call them Henry and insist it is correct because the origin of the name is Henry

squoosh · 01/10/2017 23:51

If the OP wants to be referred to as Ms M then she bloody well should be?!

Well gee, how about she verbally communicates this to them then?
Totally wild idea I know.

highlandcoo · 02/10/2017 00:07

I get what you're saying OP.

I took DH's name - starting with McR - and so Mc followed by a capital letter - when we got married. I really like Scottish names .. and always hoped to marry a guy with one when I was young. Just chance that I actually did.

He always writes his initials as - for example - T L McR but I don't do that. I write mine as H C M as it seems simpler.

What I don't like is when the third letter in my surname is autocorrected to a small r online, i.e. Mcr*** when using Autofill to buy tickets etc. It just doesn't look right at all. It's a pain but I always change it.

If my surname begins with just an M, OP, yours definitely does too

Ohyesiam · 02/10/2017 07:34

Is there a word for a thing that is more petty than a first world problem,?

Gorgosparta · 02/10/2017 07:42

At work people write my first initial and the half my surname so would be G spart.

It ends after the second syllable. Its odd because there is only one syllable after. It would also be quicker to say or write my first name and first letter of my surname.

I give zero fucks. Not my favourite name but, everyone knows who it means. It does its job.

Original poster

UsernameInvalid66 · 02/10/2017 07:53

Thanks everybody - I think we can safely say IABU! (I thought I probably was, which is why I have never made a fuss about it in real life.)

OP posts:

Birdsgottafly · 02/10/2017 08:03

I hate it when people don't correct me, when I get their name wrong.

I always thought that people were shortening the Mac to Mc and the three, putting lower/uppercase next letter, were just ways of writing the same thing.

I used to call a colleague Tina, because she'd been called that in front of me. One day she blew up at me because I'd got her name wrong, she was Chris.

All she had to do was correct me the first time that I did it.

CamperVamp · 02/10/2017 08:06

YANBU.

People like deste believe they can 'correct' what is on your DH's birth certificate, your marriage certificate, your bank account, your passport....

Yes, it may be 'the norm' and god forbid anyone ever veers from that! This is why MILs fail to use your surname when you have chosen not to adopt her son's. Etc etc.

And god forbid a woman should ever care how anyone chooses to address her.

OP: you have probably left it a long time to get people to change now, but you could just say 'actually it's just M' a few times.

ScissorBow · 02/10/2017 08:16

I follow what other people call themselves but not everyone is that observant. We have a D McC who in project management meetings calls himself DMcC as his initials. There's no other DM or DMc or DC. But that's what I put because that's what he puts. We have another BRok which instead of being just BR is BRok because a joke was made and it stuck (he's fine with it!) Everyone else is just SB or whatever. It's just courtesy to check what people want to call themselves.

borntobequiet · 02/10/2017 08:19

What's wrong with Mc that it annoys you more than Mac? It's just the Irish version...

Over600Ecalypts · 02/10/2017 09:40

Your initial is M as is the case of all Mac/Mcs.

In a town with a large number of different Mac/Mcs, you would find that you needed the MacS form so that people would know which M you were.

At my local phamacy, the shelves for repeat presciptions are labelled according to surname initial and there are about 4 shelves for the various Mac/Mcs and then it carries on with M-P.

Your initial is not S and YWNBU to get irritated if they used that.

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