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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

More of a WWYD

17 replies

treeofhearts · 01/10/2017 12:04

Bit of background. I left my previous job due to the lack of work life balance, unsociable hours, a shit manager and the fact that they could not have offered me full time. Had they offered full time I would probably have sucked up the shit hours because I mostly enjoyed it.

I have been at my new job 2 weeks and although the hours are perfect for me I'm finding it very boring. It's much quieter than where I was before and not a lot to really do, mostly just watching the very empty shop. Not actually sure why they needed someone tbh.

It's a tiny little team, only 5 other people 2 of which are very nice but not based there so I don't see much of them, a really nice boss who I don't see much of as he is always very busy and 2 others who seem to hate me. They have completely blanked me since my first day there and I can go hours at a time without them exchanging a word with me and ignoring me if I try to start a conversation.

They are civil when they do have to speak but don't talk to me unless they have to. I get told what to do and if I have done something wrong, that is it. I am receiving very little training and not enjoying it at all. The pay is good, hours brilliant and the employee benefits scheme excellent but apart from that, no pros.

I've now been offered a new position similar to what I was doing before. Slightly less pay but not enough to notice. Think like £30 a year less. Much busier, seem very friendly and my skills would be put to good use. The only drawback is the hours are horrendous. Workable but I would have even less of a life outside of work than I did to begin with. Their earliest shift is an hour earlier than I was having to do at my first job and the latest an hour later. I would also have to work weekends. I don't drive and have a long commute but I do have a test booked which would make the commute much shorter if I pass.

I just don't know what to do and have to make a decision by tomorrow morning. Wow that was long. Kudos to anyone who is still here. So what would you all do? On the one hand I have to be there for 9 hours a day and its important to be happy. On the other hand I hate not having a life or set shifts.

OP posts:
nightshade · 01/10/2017 12:10

Two weeks isn't long and things change...for me work home balance is the most important..

RedSkyAtNight · 01/10/2017 12:24

I agree that 2 weeks really isn't long enough to tell. It might be that work comes in fits and spurts and you happened to have started in a quiet period.

I'd also say that you haven't had a chance to get to know the other 2 employees yet - you say they are perfectly civil, so this to me says socially awkward/shy rather than hating you.

The new job really doesn't sound like you should go for it, so I'd stick with your current job for now to see how it pans out, whilst keeping your eyes open for something else.

Brokenbiscuit · 01/10/2017 12:28

There are no right or wrong answers here, OP. I think you need to spend a bit of time working out what your values and priorities are. When those are clear, the decision should be more straightforward.

treeofhearts · 01/10/2017 12:35

That's what I kept thinking at first but they literally do not acknowledge me. If I make a comment about the weather or something, they shrug and walk off. They're not outright nasty and don't have a go or anything but it's like being ghosted at school. I feel like an extra on a date! And the other job isn't one that is likely to come up again. But the hours! Ahhh!

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happypoobum · 01/10/2017 12:45

Well what you are describing is workplace bullying. It sounds like they want to get rid of you.

You have imagined this is an either/or situation but it doesn't have to be.

I would start looking for another job, but not one with horrendous work/life balance. Knowing that you will soon be leaving should help endure the unpleasant atmosphere you are in now.Flowers

treeofhearts · 01/10/2017 18:53

I dont think they wanted a new colleague in the first place tbh. Bumping for the evening crowd.

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MyBrilliantDisguise · 01/10/2017 18:56

I wouldn't go to the new place, but I would try to leave this job. Life is too short to be working with people who ignore you. In the meantime I'd ask your boss why they're behaving like that - it could well be that he/she's fired someone who was their friend, and now you're there as the replacement and they're punishing you.

BabsGanoush · 01/10/2017 19:00

Is it possible to change the hours in the new job - say within a couple of months. Think long term, or do you have kids to work around?

treeofhearts · 01/10/2017 19:19

I don't think so. I asked but was told that everyone does earlies and lates.

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CatsOclock · 01/10/2017 19:29

It doesn't have to be an 'either or'. There's a third option which you don't know about yet. I'd go for that.

Wontbedoingthatanytimesoon · 01/10/2017 19:31

Nothing worse than being miserable at work

I'm not sure what you should do but I wish I didn't socialize with anyone at my current work. The more I got to
Know them the more they showed more traits of what I didn't like

Is this job a long term thing or a side earner whilst you study or look for another job etc ?

treeofhearts · 01/10/2017 19:35

It's a long term thing. I specialise in a particular area of sales and advice and jobs don't come up in my area that often. Wish that a 3rd option would crop up but in the meantime it is either or.

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mummymummums · 01/10/2017 19:37

It's bloody miserable to work with people who have something against you. It grinds you down.
I'd be looking for another job - not the one you're thinking of though with the unsocial hours.
When you leave make sure you tell the boss how these two treated you. It's not the sort of thing you can ask a boss to sort out while you're still there - it'll just alienate you further,
Good luck

Wontbedoingthatanytimesoon · 01/10/2017 19:58

Agree with above

Stay at current whilst looking for
Other jobs. At least you have more sociable hours to look.

SingingSeuss · 01/10/2017 20:04

Stay and let you manager know you are keen for more of a challenge. If he is any good he will jump at the chance to utilise you.

Ilovetolurk · 01/10/2017 20:21

Agree with above comment, could you speak to your boss for extra work? Help him out if he is busy

In a week or two if the others are still not friendly have a frank conversation as to what their problem is, very few people can front that out without a genuine grievance

If the other job has hideous hours you seem to be acknowledging yourself it is not the answer

treeofhearts · 01/10/2017 20:27

It's not that there is work they aren't giving me. There actually isn't any more work. We all just seem to spend ages standing around. The only difference is that they chat while standing around and if I try to join the conversation it all goes silent.

The other job seems perfect in every way except the hours. So frustrating.

Perhaps I should just come right out and ask them what their problem is.

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