To cut him off rather than have him not show up?

[Musereader]

I had a baby with my ex last september and left him due to emotional abuse in the october. Since then i have arranged for him to see her on an ad hoc basis in november and december but this meant i could be waiting up to 2 hours and one time he didnt turn up at all and i was left wandering around a shopping center on a Sunday.

Since january he has had a time slot of 3-5 on sunday at my parents house, this was agreed in a social services meeting. He has turned up 5 times since then out of 39 weeks he has been supposed to come. He does not like the fact that i have 'dictated' this time and place.

Anyway i got fed up of this as he has not seen her since 2 days before her birthday, not got her any presents or anything. Ingot into an argument on face book and i flounced and said he would need to go to court to get access. I have been called out by one of his friends for denying access so i messaged them to say while i agree not seeing her dad is damaging, that having him not turn up when he is supposed to is even more so. Aibu to refuse to let him see her until a formal arrangement is made that he may actually show up to?

Uanbe tell him to go to court and tell his friend to mind his business

I don't think yabu. You're protecting her. She doesn't know he's a knobber yet but when she's older, why should she face repeated let-downs? Sorry about this OP.

As much as it's important for a dc to see its df (I say this in a general term) it's also important to consider the mh of the dm - which yours is at risk if you keep dancing to his tune.
Tell him to see a solicitor to arrange proper access.

YANBU! If he's even a little bit bothered about seeing her he'll go to court - or at least suggest mediation. If he isn't, better she doesn't spend each Sunday hoping daddy will arrive. Please keep a written record of all the times and dates you've made her available for contact, plus the ones he's actually showed up. Might be useful later.

Yanbu in the slightest and if I were you I'd just get on with raising her solo. You don't need the extra stress of him. He's only raising hell over the issue of access, not sure that he actually gives that much of a shit tbh, probably just wants to upset you more. He can get to fuck. You should just continue to push forward in your life.