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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is euthanasia a crime or panacea?

39 replies

beats95 · 01/10/2017 10:34

Yesterday I have watched the movie "Solace" with Anthony Hopkins and Colin Farrell. On the screens since 2015. I have missed it at that time. Euthanasia-this is the idea of that movie. It has really shocked me. Just the approach. Is it an act of grace or a crime? It does not touch me or any of my closest people yet. But who knows? I want to hear the opinions. My own is that it is an act of grace. I am not sure. Need some more comments. My grandparents have passed away at near 87. They have been wishing to die during last year. I remember that very distinctly. Their lives were a bunch of problems for everybody. So?

OP posts:
yumchoc · 01/10/2017 12:34

My grandmother 96 passed 6 weeks ago and my mother and her sisters worried about her being in pain there was a injection kit for pain relief which could be given by a district nurse it wasn't used
But personally I know when I struggle to breathe I feel panicked and pain
Yet in the process off dying from old age my grandmother would stop breathing for 3 minutes and the her body would kick back and she would breathe again this went on for three days I would have not put her through that at all and I feel this way that when I am dying I want someone to put me out of my misery perhaps with a good dose of morphine

DJBaggySmalls · 01/10/2017 12:38

A natural death is not always pleasant or pain free. We should be able to do better for dying people. I want the right to make that decision for myself, in a living will. It should be between me and my doctor, I dont think relatives should be able to override it.
The current hysteria over drugs and euthanasia means some patients die without getting enough pain relief, as doctors are too scared of being accused of overdosing.

MiraiDevant · 01/10/2017 12:58

Euthanasia is a choice - or should be.
There is the issue of keeping people alive though when they have no choice because the alternative is unthinkable. Different issue.

Lonecatwithkitten · 01/10/2017 13:04

In a 'civilised' society we allowed some people to die in ways that we would never allow a pet to die.
If I had a pound for every time a bereaved owner said to me I wish my husband/wife/mum/dad had been able to die like that I would be very wealthy.

beats95 · 01/10/2017 13:10

I am healthy and happy. That is right! But there are many olders around me. Whose life is worthless as for now. What may happen if they ask me to give a lethal pill? Where will I get it? If I even get it, will I feel myself as a killer? It really worries me.

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beats95 · 01/10/2017 13:23

marcopront My regrets! What is about your mom now? Will the legal euthanasia solve many problems? I am sure it will. Just think, three years!! Without a chance to recover. Actually, a few chances. Who can have a right to make a lethal decision?

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Chattycat78 · 01/10/2017 13:33

One of my good friends died recently age 38 of terminal lung cancer. The last few weeks were awful for her. Moved into a hospice as hospital couldn't do any more, in terrible pain, couldn't breathe ot talk. Eventually she had to be sedated to make it bearable until her organs packed up on their own.

You wouldn't do it to a dog. For fucks sake. I'm haunted by how she must have suffered at the end. Sad

beats95 · 01/10/2017 13:53

So, you think she would accept the euthanasia with a joy? I am sure she would. But she had to suffer terribly because nobody had enough bravery to put a pill in her mouth? It looks pretty nice. Let her suffer to the end. It is not our problem. We rely on God. We just take her money for the treatment. The more she is suffering the more money we get. That is it!

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beats95 · 01/10/2017 14:02

MiraiDevant The question is what for to keep a life which is lost already? No hope. No chances. Nothing. Only the sufferings of a person and his/her relatives. What is it all for? Charity? Sounds ridiculous.

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Maelstrop · 01/10/2017 14:35

Act of grace. It appals me that we can put to sleep an animal in pain with no hope of recovery, but not a human. I look at my mil and want to cry. If she were lucid, she'd want to die. There is no dignity in dementia or fatal conditions.

Chattycat78 · 01/10/2017 15:06

Agreed. My friend definitely had no dignity - at the mercy of others to provide pain relief but essentially waiting to die - if there is no hope, why do we make people suffer? It's ludicrous.

ImNotWhoYouThinkIAmOhNo · 01/10/2017 15:41

We debate this constantly re my FIL. He is 94, with advanced dementia. He is very weak, sleeps almost all the time, hardly eats now - and finds eating physically difficult, so we now offer only soup and other 'sloppy' food. He is doubly incontinent, he cannot stand without help, has to be ferried around the house in a wheelchair. He cannot dress or undress himself, or wash himself. He has 8 hours of paid care every day, sometimes 2 people at a time, because that's what he needs. This is in addition to DH and I helping several times a week and the endless phone calls DH has to deal with, as FIL's care needs are changing constantly.

He cannot stay awake long enough to hold a conversation, and he cannot articulate his own feelings or thoughts, though in the few times he speaks, he is often angry and swears (pre-dementia, he was a kind, calm, thoughtful, gentle man who didn't swear). He is clear that he wants to stay in his own home though, and we are doing what we can to make that possible, and to try to retain some semblance of dignity.

His needs are increasing by the day, as his health declines. It's painfully slow, and painful to see. His death cannot be far off. We constantly ask what quality of life he has. DH certainly wishes euthanasia was an option.

It's very hard to generalise about making euthanasia legal. The devil is certainly in the detail.

sashh · 02/10/2017 04:15

We just take her money for the treatment. The more she is suffering the more money we get. That is it!

I'm guessing you are not in the UK. Hospices don't charge.

MiraiDevant · 04/10/2017 13:07

ImNotWhoYouThinkIAmOhNo - You have my very real sympathies. I wish we could allow people to die when they reach that stage. We are almost at that stage with my mother but again - it is unthinkable for someone else to decide not to treat her, not to help her. Yet at what cost do we prolong life. And I don't just mean the £50k a year that it costs in care or the impact on adult "children" who are beginning to suffer themselves with the health problems of old age. What is it worth for the person themselves?? And yet they can no longer decide for themselves what to do.

And actually beats95 I agree with you - but how do we deal with it? Who decides?

I feel I have no choice but to care for my mother. I love her, I want to make her happy, but how much longer ca I do this?

I would vote for legalisation of euthanasia but it is a very risky step to take.

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