AIBU to change my first name?

[hatemyname]

Hey, I’m after your opinion

I’m turning 21 soon. Londoner at 3rd year of uni. Been at my job for 4 years, plan on moving to head office when I graduate. I have met a lot of people at this point of my life; is it too late to change my first name?

My parents tried to be unusual / exotic. I hate introducing myself & constantly spelling it out/explaining where it’s from/hearing how unusual it is. Hate needing to justify & associate myself with a name that I don’t like.

Hate seeing my name written down, on work related things, on social media. At 16 I started to go by a ‘middle name’ instead but never formally changed it. Wish I did as I still have issues, like one of my old managers got the entire team calling me by my initial as HE didn’t like my name.

It’s similar to a common name, with V as the first initial (eg Maya/Vaya or Carla/Varla.) The name I’d change it to is a completely different normal name.

Is it weird to change it at this point?

You can be called what ever you want to be called.

If your name is Varla may then use Mary, lots of people do. if you prefer the traditional Carla then use it.

I know several boys/young men who were lumbered with trendy names 20-25 years ago which sound a bit, well common or babyish ie Alfie, Frankie and the like and either go by something completely unrelated such as Bob or Dave, or "adultify" their name to Frank.

A name is what you choose to be called.

TBH parents who give way out, funky, poorly or alternatively spelled names should be given a good noodle probe.

Nope, definitely not weird, if it makes you happy go for it. It'll be a bit of a faff changing all your documentation and financial stuff but small price to pay.

And send this thread to every new parent contemplating a yoonique name for their child.

Change it, change it, change it. I have an impossibly spelt name - it's a continuous source of difficulty in life.

Change it if you want but please be aware you can do it for free and don't need special paper or a solicitor or yo register it with the assays office or any other such rubbish. Mumsnetters have paid cold hard cash for these things and will tell you that you need to for 'added protection but you don't.

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freedeedpoll.org.uk

but small price to pay.

Not a literal price I hope?!

You can do it for free, of course, but might need to account for the name change when producing exam certificates, taking a new citizenship, working abroad, etc. This may look a long way away, if ever, but sorted now will save you time in the future.

Good luck with your new lovely name.

No Enid not a literal price...

Also you're 3rd year uni? Do it now before you graduate and are lumbered with your yoonique name on your graduation certificate.

Fence,

"...should be given a good noodle probe."

I am purloining that, and intend to use it at every possible opportunity from now on!

OP,

If you're still made uncomfortable by/ hate your name at 20, to the extent that it's across the board making you unhappy and self-conscious, I can't imagine on what grounds anyone could possibly query your decision to change it.
It's hardly on a whim. And to be honest, it's nobody's business but yours anyway.

Please do update us, if/ when you go ahead: it'll be really interesting to hear about how it gives you a new lease of life and fresh start.

Someone known to me did this in her mid-40s, and apart from the initial adjustment period of friends/family repeatedly forgetting and then hastily correcting themselves, has never looked back.
She wished she'd done it years ago and saved herself teasing and wisecracks all through earlier life.

I also know a young lad, then only 13, who changed his name from a very ordinary name he didn't mind to another one he liked far better, after his parents' very acrimonious divorce/ traumatic family rift/ move to new area and new school.
It really did symbolise a new beginning for him.

I find the origins and public perceptions of names fascinating and spend a lot of far too much time on the MN Baby Names boards. I strongly suspect a few of the future recipients actually having to live with some of the barmier choices (don't mean the nicely creative or less usual; I'm referring to the actual ruddy bonkers type) will feel your pain. And probably be Deed Polling themselves ASAP.

So go for it! Best of luck.

BTW, your old manager would only refer to you by an initial, because he disliked it? And made your colleagues do similar?? Charming. Really helpful in lessening your discomfort by bloody drawing attention to it...

You can do it for free, of course, but might need to account for the name change when producing exam certificates, taking a new citizenship, working abroad, etc. This may look a long way away, if ever, but sorted now will save you time in the future.

Exactly! This is when you whip out your free deed poll certificate with a flourish!

This is what a lot of people fail to realise when naming their child with a unique/uncommon/stylish name/changing spelling

That the child will grow up and either hate their name or spend most of their time correcting the pronunciation or spelling.

In an attempt to cheer you OP, it surely can't be as bad as this name

Thank you all, Mumsnetters are a lovely bunch :) really lifted my mood up

Yes AutumnalLeaves38 ex manager was awful, he has a strange name himself and goes by a different name too🙄 luckily he left soon after he started.

I think the main thing holding me back is reintroducing myself to everyone

I agree with all of you about stupid ‘unique’ names for children. My mother always gets personally offended whenever she sees my ‘middle name’ anywhere or hears about me wanting to change my name, and makes it about herself. Annoying.

Thanks for that link, EnidNextDoor. Would my bank/passport office/DVLA would accept the free one formally?

I feel your pain...
Go for it xx

Would my bank/passport office/DVLA would accept the free one formally?

Yes. Do a few copies and just on normal photocopying paper. Get them signed and away you go!

Do it. I changed my name recently and it was such a good decision.

If people call you already by your middle name, are you changing it to that or to a different name?