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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not know how to talk

6 replies

Ribrabrob · 30/09/2017 16:10

I wouldn't say I'm shy, in fact I can appear fairly confident, but I'm just not a fan of talking. When I'm out with a friend for coffee etc, I tend to let them do the talking and just ask questions so that they carry on doing so and then I don't really need to say anything.

I admit part of the reason is because I'm boring and not a lot happens in my life to discuss, but mainly because I just don't have anything to say or feel the need to say anything. I'm quite happy sitting back and listening, hearing what others have to say. This is fine when I'm with people who happily take the lead, but it's difficult when the other person has a similar mindset to me.

Aibu to not really talk much? Aibu to ask for advice on how to talk to people who are also fairly quiet when it comes to talking? (Other than avoid them. I'm talking about friends, family etc here). And does anybody feel the same?

OP posts:
Pariswhenitdrizzles · 30/09/2017 16:17

Ahh Ribrab are you me?? I'm exactly the same.

I have a couple of friends who are also really similar (and my Dad's the same! 😂) so sometimes it can feel a bit tricky!

Although with my Dad, it feels quite nice as we're so used to it - a bit more like a comfortable, companionable silence IYKWIM.

Pariswhenitdrizzles · 30/09/2017 16:18

Sorry to not offer any advice! Blush just happy to have found a kindred spirit Grin

jaseyraex · 30/09/2017 16:21

Sorry I have no helpful advice but I am exactly the same. Got a lot of "you're so quiet!" growing up. I'm still quiet I guess, my brother is the same. My DH can talk the ears off anyone so I think that's how we ended up working, I say nothing and he says everything 😁

SerfTerf · 30/09/2017 16:23

Practise! Current affairs, local events. Towns, people or organisations you have in common.

You don't need to change personality overnight or get too ambitious. Just try the odd "Did you read about....?".

formerbabe · 30/09/2017 16:23

Just ask lots of questions...most people love to talk about themselves so it's a good tip!

phoenix1973 · 30/09/2017 17:22

Im 44 and ive only just met anyone quieter than me.
Im not going to change but i am looked upon as odd and an unknown quantity.
How come its ok to be a strong silent man, but not ok for a woman to have the same qualities?

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