Aibu to think this isn't all that helpful?

[Grumpysocks]

Probably going to be told iabu here and very lucky to have offers of help.

I've got two young dc, one is a toddler, mil keeps offering to come to my house and watch the dc while I clean. I haven't never, ever asked.

It doesn't work for me because they are all just under my feet, the toddler follows me round the house and they are all just making a big mess anyway. They'll be all excited because granny is here getting every single toy out running around and it's complete chaos. Even when they were babies she'd say she'd watch the baby while I sleep. It just doesn't work for me, the baby would be crying getting upset and I could hear all this going on so could never have relaxed.

Plus the fact I'm very introvert anyway, so find it stressful having people in the house.

When my mum has the dc she takes them off, feeds them baths them and I collet them ready for bed - stress free.

I don't expect any help from anyone anyway but I can tell they think I'm ungrateful and can't understand why I don't jump at the offer.

So why don't you suggest that MiL takes them to the park, or you drop them off at hers - or something that would be genuinely helpful to you?

(unless she is of the same school of thought as my own mum, who thinks that it's selfish to ask for help that would actually be helpful, and that you should be grateful for whatever is offered)

Each time she offers, have you told her why you think it would be a nightmare?

She probably feels a bit crap that you keep turning her down so why don’t you just tell how her to actually help.

I'd find that quite an insulting offer. Is your house particularly dirty?

Maybe mil doesn't feel confident having the dc away for your house?

Unless you have commented that you never have time to clean your house, it does sound like a sly dig! Next time she offers ask her to do the cleaning! Seriously though - spending time with your children is way more important than a bit of a messy house.

You need to tell her just say yes thanks that would be great but they'll trash the house getting toys out for you so would you mind just taking them out for an hour or so so I can just get on without them - I don't mind if you say no by the way