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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Withdrawing a KS3 child from PE permanently due to medical grounds

100 replies

piedpiper4 · 30/09/2017 11:32

Sorry, posting here for traffic. I have posted elsewhere. Basically as it says in the title. I need to find out the legal guidelines for permanently withdrawing dd(13) from PE on medical grounds. I have a meeting with the Head on Tuesday and I'd like to make sure I'm fully prepared. Many thanks.

OP posts:
MadameJosephine · 30/09/2017 12:05

I would have thought that rather than a permanent withdrawal what you need are clear guidelines about what DD can and can't do which the school can use to make reasonable adjustments to allow DD to participate in ways that will not cause her harm. Surely inclusion of children with complex needs is better than sidelining them?

Goldmandra · 30/09/2017 12:07

You're borrowing problems from tomorrow big time here.

The OP is just asking for advice on what she needs. There could be other parents who have dealt with this another way or been told that a letter from the consultant isn't enough and they need something else.

I think it's a good idea to be as prepared as possible for meetings like this. School staff have limited time to spend on them and, if the OP turns up with everything she might need, that will make everyone's life easier.

fleshmarketclose · 30/09/2017 12:08

Dd hasn't done PE since early in y7 and it hasn't been timetabled for her since year 8 it's simply listed as Private Study on her timetable. Dd has a statement of SEN (not transferred to EHCP yet) which states dd does not benefit from PE lessons and the time usually timetabled is to be used...... and then lists the alternatives that happen then.
PE exacerbated dd's anxiety enormously, she hated it, I could see no benefit that she was getting from it and so I raised it with the Ed Psych and got it written into her statement and it is never questioned or suggested that she might like to try even.

manicinsomniac · 30/09/2017 12:09

Do you need something as formal as an official withdrawal?

Where I work, parents can sign their children 'off games' with a note. If the child had a new note every week stating they were to be off games all week then they would be put on the off games list every day.

Parents would be contacted to try and get the child back on games but, ultimately, the parent is the one that makes the decision and we can't force them to let their child do sport.

kingsleysbootlicker · 30/09/2017 12:11

My daughter (same age) cannot take part fully in PE due to having Joint Hypermobility Syndrome... I got a letter from her doctor stating the diagnosis/ problems it caused and her school were happy with that even though it was just a general letter and PE wasn't mentioned. I told them she might need withdrawn completely at some point and they said it wouldn't be a problem if it came to that. So just inform the school and go from there, it might not be as big an issue as you expect

JonSnowsWife · 30/09/2017 12:11

I'd just get the letter from the consultant too.

DD also has a wealth of medical problems ans the Onl thing they do is adjust what she can do. I.e she had a chest infection recently so she couldn't do the cross country as planned (asthmatic) but she did gymnastics instead.

Hope you sort something OP.

BeyondThePage · 30/09/2017 12:11

If you are signed off games at our school, you still get changed and take part in some form or another, just not the physical aspects.

MyBrilliantDisguise · 30/09/2017 12:12

It sounds as though this is a mental health issue rather than purely a physical health issue. If it is, I would expect the school to agree on a term by term basis.

ReanimatedSGB · 30/09/2017 12:12

OK, obviously you can't give details of your DD's health condition but:

Are you asking for her to be allowed to avoid the entire session, not just the physical aspect that she can't do? At 13 she may or may not be considered old enough to (eg) sit in the school library and make a start on her homework while the rest of the class has PE. The school may have concerns about needing an extra member of staff to supervise her if she is not actually in the school gym - though if she has additional needs and already 1-1 support in place that won't be relevant.

Also, it will depend on whether or not her doctor has actually said, No PE whatsoever, or whether you are overreacting, and a compromise could be found.

Pengggwn · 30/09/2017 12:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mummyoflittledragon · 30/09/2017 12:13

Speak to the school about what they would want in order for this to happen.

I wanted dd permanently excluded from swimming on medical grounds with her school because they weren't looking after her despite stating the safeguarding was in place. It wasn't. I went and spied on the TA supposedly spotting her in the pool. It was a bloody nightmare because I didn't know what they were looking for. They refused my request to exclude her Several ridiculous ping pong emails with the head and never a response to my request to meet.

In the end, I went to the GP and asked for her to be excluded. He wasn't prepared to do it permanently but did do it temporarily pending a letter from the consultant. The consultant then gave dd a permanent exclusion but this was a private consultation, I don't know about letters from NHS consultants and I'd check if you could get one from the hospital department. The letter from the GP was £25. Some charge more. Some charge less.

Proudmummytodc2 · 30/09/2017 12:14

Hi I'm 26 now but when I was your DD age I had to be pulled from P.E permanently due to medical reasons (heart problem) and to do that my mum had to get a letter from my GP and she also had to write a letter stating the same as the GP had said was wrong.

The letters were then given to my P.E teacher who discussed with the head teacher and it was then arranged I never had to do P.E but I still had to take my kit in and help out where I could e.g. Basketball came towards me I threw it back ect.

I don't know if it will b the same but judge anted to say this was what we had to do.

sadiemm2 · 30/09/2017 12:23

My daughters both have Ehlers Danlos syndrome, and have dislocations and subluxation. There are certain sports they cannot do, and certain actions that cause issues (like throwing balls) so they participated by helping set up, keep score etc often they would take part in the bits they could do, and Sat out otherwise. I had a good relationship with staff, and we had a good level of trust. My girls could be trusted not to take the piss like some. Only had problems with one teacher who tried to make my daughter do rugby..

fleshmarketclose · 30/09/2017 12:23

Dd never goes anywhere near the PE corridor but in her school a note from home or the GP because of a physical difficulty would mean you still have to get changed and participate in some way such as umpire, stopwatch holder, measuring distances etc. Dd couldn't cope with any aspect of it and so having it in the statement means she doesn't have to enter the corridor never mind the changing rooms.

blankpieceofpaper · 30/09/2017 12:29

We have children at our school who do not take part in music due to their cultural background. They go and read in the library.

You need to discuss with the school how supervising her during PE will be managed. Will she be able to take part in any part of it at any time? I say this as schools rotate the PE options throughout the year - gym/ dance/ athletics/ netball etc. If not, is she to go to the library? Or to the school's SEN department or similar? Sit on the side and help out with score keeping/ equipment etc? The exact nature of her medical background will also be a factor - is her mobility limited - walking/ cardio? As other alternatives may be discussed by the school as it is a curriculum requirement.

I am not making any judgement on you here as I do not know your background; I am just saying in general terms that will be areas the school has to consider.

TheHungryDonkey · 30/09/2017 12:29

Your posts are too vague for people to give very specific advice. But in Bristol, we have an organisation called Supportive Parents, who are really helpful for advising in difficult situations and school negotiations. Might you have some kind of service in your area who can help you with your specific difficulty?

Yellowheart · 30/09/2017 12:32

We have children at our school who do not take part in music due to their cultural background. They go and read in the library.

Is this in the U.K.? I'm very surprised, it's part of the curriculum and so parents have no right to withdraw. I'm totally against allowing parents to pick and choose bits of the curriculum.

Tottyandmarchpane1 · 30/09/2017 12:33

If it is essential that she does not do PE then you should have no problem getting a consultant letter upon which the school will allow you to withdraw her. If it's just you that would like her not to do it for whatever reason then it seems unlikely.

Silvercatowner · 30/09/2017 12:36

Surely it is the school's responsibility to adapt the PE provision to the needs of your child? Having worked with children with life limiting conditions and profound and multiple disabilities who did PE, I struggle to see why your child is not able to. PE is physical education - it needs to build on what the child can do.

LadyInDread · 30/09/2017 12:36

Is this in the U.K.? I'm very surprised, it's part of the curriculum and so parents have no right to withdraw.

Not remember all the JW kids getting pulled out of RE? That was allowed back in the 80's and afaik it still happens.

Some religions don't allow their girls to do swimming if the class is mixed sex.

Yellowheart · 30/09/2017 12:41

@ ladyindread

Religious studies and sre are different- parents have the right to withdraw. But not from any other parts that form part of the national curriculum

Yellowheart · 30/09/2017 12:43

Also if a parent is going to withdraw their children from RE they need to state that they will
Make provision for teaching it in some way to their child themselves.

Lovemusic33 · 30/09/2017 12:53

I think it depends what the reasons are. My dd has a disability that effects her bones and muscles, she still has to take part in PE lessons but is allowed to sit out. School do a good job of adapting things for her, if she can't take part she watches or helps pack things away, part of PE is not physical, dd has some lessons that are more about taking about health and how to look after your body. Dd's friend has a serious heart condition but still takes part in some way.

shouldnthavesaid · 30/09/2017 13:18

I stopped PE at age 14 due to dyspraxia - I was bullied horrendously for my lack of sports skills. Used to have diarrhea in the previous class I was so nervous.

Think my mum just phoned the school after a particular horrible lesson and said I wasn't doing PE anymore , I went to the library instead where the librarian had to sign me off as attending, and did my maths homework/ read a book. I received an automatic fail but it's never affected me , wasn't a certified class or anything like that.

shouldnthavesaid · 30/09/2017 13:20

They never asked for any medical evidence as far as I renember , they wpuld have known I had dyspraxia but never asked for any paperwork about not doing PE.

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