I'm really unwell so why am I feeling such mum guilt?

[TheLegendOfBeans]

This is a blatant request for handholds so posting in AIBU may be asking for it

I've had some kind of gastric bug for 24h. Since this time yesterday I've had around 3h sleep and have been going vociferously at both ends.

DH has thankfully been home and has taken DD (18mo) out and about yesterday and today.

I'm also 38w pregnant so im sure you can appreciate I've been utterly poleaxed by this and am grateful baby is still rolling around in there.

So why do I feel so guilty about

a) going awol from DD for 24h; I've not seen her as I've been steering clear so not to pass the bug on
b) leaving DH to do everything solo
c) dreading them coming home in a way as I know this is going to make me bedbound for another day

DH is a good man who doesn't buy into all that wifewoek shit...so why do I feel this way? Plus I think DD is happiest with anyone who'll give her cuddles and a babybel but she learned to say "mummy" last week and keeps repeating it and I feel so sad I can't pick her up and cuddle her. Factor in I'm getting a CS in a fortnight I feel bad for losing out on cuddle time too.

Am I alone in feeling so wretched? Why - as intelligent women of the 21st century - is this fliipin guilt so close to the surface?

Wah

[pukes]

I hope you feel better soon. It sounds like you already know your guilt is unjustified. Your DD is safe and happy and being looked after by one of the two people who love her most in the world. She will be absolutely fine. Really it would be more selfish to cuddle her to ease your guilt and infect her with the bug.

I think you're at a low with feeling so awful and as a mother you feel you should be there for your DD. In reality, she's probably having a lovely time being the centre of Daddy's attention.

I've had to look after mine during a vomiting bug and every time I was sick or had to lie on the floor due to feeling faint, she started crying and I wasn't able to comfort her. Seriously, she's happy, well looked after, so concentrate on having some rest and getting better.

I think being physically wiped out after loads of vomming plus the physical wipeout of being so pregnant isn't to be underestimated.

I've stopped all "activities" now but oh my god even getting up and down stairs is like cooking Everest.

Oh you poor thing, how miserable.

Really hope you feel better as soon as possible.

(And don't go trying to "cook Everest", until you're properly recuperated).

And best of luck for the baby's arrival.

I am not pregnant and I am in exactly the same situation, except I am hiding in the spare room. I feel guilty especially as I can hear DD asking for me.

I could not imagine going through this while being pregnant.

Ah thanks Zuzu. Was going to sterilise bottle and pumps and stuff this weekend. NOT NOW.

Changerofname yes it's the pits. But I think the chief differences are not being able to get as close to the loo bowl and basically just crying at every little thing all the time.

Emotional stuff, having gutrot.

Hi OP,

Just checking in to see if you're feeling any better by now?
Really hope so: you deserve plain sailing to compensate, between now and your baby getting here (how exciting, though!).

Thought these might come in handy for when you (or any other recuperating MNers) are over the worst, but still feeling fragile and needing to entertain lively toddler using only minimal effort and movement.

thehealthsessions.com/30-ways-to-entertain-an-active-toddler-when-youre-chronically-ill/

www.babycenter.com/0_40-ways-to-entertain-your-kids-while-lying-down_10350158.bc
(covers older aged kids, not just toddlers)

Thanks for the links Zuzu - I'm just back on my feet now really; this was the nastiest bug I've ever ever had in terms of ferocity and duration.

I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy!

Have a similar bug and so I can sympathise with you.
This won't last forever (Although I know it does feel like that). You are only human and you and DH are a team. You look after him when he is ill, now he is doing the same. You have nothing to feel guilty about at all. To be any good to your family you need to be physically well. Go easy on yourself and think of something nice you can do with your family once this horrible bug is
over.