To not know how to stop thinking about someone

[GertiesEyebrow]

Sorry, spammimg boards today.

This isn't a Mills and Boom swoony thread.

I am married and have no intention of doing anything. I don't know how he feels because it really doesn't matter. I don't tend to fancy people. I might see someone and think he's nice but not much more but there's someone I've started working with who I have a serious crush on.

I actually feel really guilty and like I've done something wrong when realistically I know I haven't and as I've said I have no intention of.

Husband isn't in a good place mentally so it wouldn't be a good idea to tell him and then laugh about it. I wouldn't know how to anyway, I can't think of the last time I fancied someone.

So, how do I get him out of my head?

Out of site, out of mind.

I've been in a similar situation before, and it happened when DH and I weren't in a good place for various reasons (well nothing actually happened, just a long drawn out crush).

Honestly it only stopped when I got a new job (didn't leave because of that, obviously!), it just meant I didn't see the person at all so there wasn't anyone to 'crush' on.

Can you distance yourself at work?

Very tough situation GE.
Feel for ya
Distancing is the only way, imo.

Do you fancy him or the idea of a stress free relationship? Because if your DH is unwell I can see how another person seems easy.

Avoid avoid avoid. And if you can't, make an effort to notice the annoying things he does. Slurp tea, not cover when he sneezes, has cat posters at work? Everyone has something.

Been there! Three appraoches that helped me were

1. enjoy it for what it is , it can brighten up your day and you shouldn't feel guilty for what is in your head when you arent physically doing anything.
2. transfer those positive thoughts toward husband to make more of an effort there. I am sturggling with DH for lots of reasons but I just knowing I can feel something like this makes me feel alive and able to make small steps at home which is helping.
3. go on holiday - sounds flippant but gives family time with husband, and being away from work out of sight out of mind 100% makes you forget and come back refreshed and refocused

No choice about working with him sadly, at least not short term. Absolutely no hope of time off work, let alone a holiday.
The idea of a stress free relationship is appealing and a relationship which is just fun would be very nice. So I think you're onto something there MrsTerryPratchett.