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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

aibu to be feeling hurt and abandoned by my mum

3 replies

sparkle22 · 29/09/2017 19:52

To cut a very long story short my sister and I had a really crap childhood, my mum was only interested in men and how she could make them happy, I was abused and neglected and eventually thrown out at 18. I didn't have any contact with her for years, but then slowly she did her usual guilt trip on me and I started talking to her again, but kept her at arms length.

When her last husband died 2 years ago, she really did seem like she had changed and I started to see her regularly. I felt like we had really started to build some kind of relationship. Then last month she went on holiday and met a man, he took her number and came to visit her 3 weeks after they got back. He stayed at hers for 2 days.

I then got a phone call totally out of the blue, off my mum telling me she loves him and she is getting married in 3 months, and then she is giving up her council bungalow to go and live 100 miles away in his flat, she's never even been to his flat, I've never met him, she hasn't discussed this with anyone.

She cancelled the 3 upcoming meet ups we had arranged, said she doesn't know when she will next be free, and said she will 'call me'. I feel angry with myself for giving her another chance, and angry with her for being so selfish aibu?

OP posts:
Threenme · 29/09/2017 19:56

No you're not she's let you down all your life and it's shit. You're obviously strong, just resolve when it inevitably goes tits up you won't be there to pick up the pieces and house her which I'd bet my life she'll ask you to do. Sending hugs!Flowers

IrritatedUser1960 · 29/09/2017 20:02

She will lose everything if she does this, her council bungalow, all her money etc. Why is she so stupid about men, what is the thrill?
I just can't understand it.
However it is not your problem anymore. You must try to make a life without her.

sparkle22 · 29/09/2017 20:19

Thanks for the replies, it really helps to write it down and see it in black and white. I have no idea why she is like this, she's always been the same. I do need to be firm this time, and if she stops contact, then to stop going back to her for more each time. She would definitely turn up on my door if she had nowhere to go.

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