To feel irritated by this stranger

[KickthewallonSalthillprom]

A well known advice centre has offices upstairs from where I work. They don't open on Fridays. Frequently people knock on my office window when they can't gain access.
So...... today a man asked me where he should seek advice regarding his situation. The opening times info notice clearly state Mondays Employment Law, Tuesdays Family Law, Wednesday Housing etc. I pointed this out but he clearly wanted to talk and he told me he wanted to support his child but he couldn't give his ex any money as he was unemployed and too busy to sign on as his Dad was in hospital.
So that's ok then, a sick dad trumps a starving child? I was rather gobsmacked, as a Grandparent I would prefer my son to work and support his child rather than visit me even if I was at deaths door.
He wanted me to agree with him but I just said his baby needs to have a bottle and a clean nappy.
It made me so sad and hurt for that child.

I work in a church office. We often have people coming in with sob stories and asking for help. Often all they want is someone to talk to. I give out very little advice, usually along the lines of "try XYZ" and occasionally give an emergency food package, and very occasionally phone adult social care and ask for advice/assistance.

I'd suspect his story is true because dad in hospital isn't that big in the face of things. As a very quick rule of thumb, the more sob they put into the story the less likely it is to be true if you hear anything later.

But actually I don't see my role to work out whether it's true or not. All they want is a sympathetic ear and that's what I give.
And some of the homeless make a huge effort to keep up their appearances because it effects how people treat them-down at the bottom of the heap. Some of them come in, and get changed etc. If they're trying to get work certainly that makes a huge difference.

I thought Mumsnet was the place to start judgey observational threads

Well I likes you just for that,

I don't think you're unreasonable OP. Firstly, that guy was insistent that you talk to him, even though you've got nothing to do with the closed advice service he was trying to access. He may as well be forcing his bus driver to listen to his issues for all it matters. Therefore you can judge him all you like. If it was your job to help him it would be a different story.
Secondly it does seem that he just felt like it wasn't his responsibility to provide for his child which is completely out of order. Just because the mother is most likely making sure the child is ok, doesn't mean he gets to walk away from his responsibility. Sadly too many men think they can do that.

You shouldn't have got yourself into the position of judging. Nothing wrong with saying "I'm sorry, I can't help you as I work for ABC Accountants, not the Citizens Advice. Come back on Monday." And then turning back to your work.

I laughed at the idea of the op moonlighting as an advisor. Why not get a blue jacket and a hairdryer and go an zap some speeding motorists..when they complain that its not a real speed gun and you are not a real copper, you can make a citizens arrest and be a real hero.
Or maybe you could stand in the Mcdonalds drive through and tell customers whats on the menu before they get to the window.

or maybe you could just MYOFB

I am a support worker for families and its not even part of my job to give advice.
You can listen, you can discuss options and you can sympathise. Advice is different though. You need to know what you are talking about to give advice.
The benefits system is so complicated I can't advise on it even though I am involved with it on a daily basis. I don't envy anyone trying to get hold of benefits advice. Its thin on the ground these days.

To be honest it sounds like you need some security on your office door so you don't get bothered every Friday!

Why would the child be 'starving'? Can't the mum sign on?

Signing on isn't ten minutes a fortnight. I think JSA claimants can be required to do 40 hours a week of looking for work.

Very unprofessional on your part, seeing as it's not your job and you were discussing personal issues with him on your own work's time. I wonder if the actual CAB advisers are aware of what you're doing. I wonder if your boss knows what you are doing

She has no obligation to behave like a professional advisor, she isn't one.

Op. I do give advice professionally and I would have refused to help him, unless my advice service was called 'drop in advisory service in how to be a deadbeat parent' I would be polite but other than that nothing

drop in advisory service in how to be a deadbeat parent

This man hasn't signed in as he hasn't had time - what's he actually living on?

And why is he so concerned he is seeking professional hep?