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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to give up breast feeding

29 replies

thegreenlight · 29/09/2017 11:45

DS2 is 4 weeks - struggled with breast feeding in the beginning but got into it and began to quite enjoy it. However, baby has reflux only when breastfed and it's heartbreaking Sad on formula (has one bottle at night) he is a different baby. I KNOW reflux as DS1 was hospitalised with it. I promised myself I wouldn't be sad when I had to stop but I still am. He's had only formula today and has been happy and calm with periods of contented waking which I never got even if I fed him for a 4 hour stretch on the boob. Please tell me it's all ok, family and friends think it's a no brainer but this is a bigger deal to me.

OP posts:
Cinnamus · 29/09/2017 11:47

Of course you should switch to formula! Enjoy your baby and allow him to feel happy!

beansbananas · 29/09/2017 11:48

My baby has reflux too but I've kept breast feeding, by removing dairy from my diet and other things I thought might be contributing to it, e.g. Gluten, caffeine, alcohol and wind inducing vegetables . Have you tried taking a probiotic? I have found this has also helped.

beansbananas · 29/09/2017 11:52

But ultimately you have to do what will make you and your baby happy, so please don't feel guilty if you move to only formula feeding. Your baby has already benefited so much from the 4 weeks of breast feeding, so you should be proud that you've stuck at it. Reflux is not easy to deal with!

Flippertyjibbetty · 29/09/2017 11:53

It's ok. Do what you need to do. The benefits of continued breastfeeding have to be balanced against the impact of the reflux in your circumstances and difficulties with feeding (pain and anguish is no good for you or baby).

You're not going to harm your baby and you have tried your best so you should not feel bad. Follow your instinct not what you think others will think.

Someoneasdumbasthis · 29/09/2017 11:54

of course it's ok. Please please don't beat yourself up about going onto a feed that makes your baby happier!

kaytee87 · 29/09/2017 12:00

There's nothing wrong with formula, breast milk is better but formula is made for babies too.

I'd speak to your GP first about medication for the reflux before you give up bf though.

Camomila · 29/09/2017 12:02

Of course it’s okay.

If you think stopping will make you feel guilty and you’ll beat yourself up about it in the future (you say it’s a big deal to you) you could set yourself a time frame - say 2 weeks - of trying various suggestions like giving up dairy or expressing and giving a bottle (in case a bad latch is making them swallow air) and if it’s not any better at the end of the two weeks you can say ‘right I’ve tried everything’ and switch then and it might alleviate any guilt.

howthelightgetsin · 29/09/2017 12:04

My baby had horrendous reflux and was (still is, as a toddler) breastfed. We managed it without medication but honestly I look back on the first 8 months of his life as a really shitty time. That being said, I couldn't be happier that he is breastfed and I stuck with it and I'm honestly very proud of myself. That's ME. YOU should do want you want to do. Don't make reflux think you should stop breastfeeding. But stop if you want to.

Blueberrysandgrapes76 · 29/09/2017 12:10

Do you have an oversupply of milk? Mine got reflux because I had too much milk and therefore was just getting the watery stuff at the start the whole time. Life became much easier when I block fed - feeding off the same side repeatedly. Personally I'd try a few more things before giving up as you already seem to be regretting it.

meltingmarshmallows · 29/09/2017 12:12

Well done for the 4 weeks and all the goodness that would have provided. It sounds as though this is the next logical step so try not to overthink it Cake

Dairymilkmuncher · 29/09/2017 12:14

Woah course you're not being unreasonable! Four weeks is an amazing start

Original poster
thegreenlight · 29/09/2017 12:37

Thankyou so so much X I always told myself I would stop if there was any reason to and be fine with it Hmm. I think hormones have something to do with it too! Now to figure out how to leave the house when he's fed on formula!

OP posts:
ToddlersAndCoffee · 29/09/2017 12:48

Ds2 was the same. If I bf him he would vomit it all up to the point I had to take him to hospital as he was very young and not taking in anything. I had cracked nipples wich were so incredibally painful every time he latched on. I gave up at 5 weeks and was the BEST thing I ever did!

Ds1 was breastfed for a year with no problems so that's what pushed me to keep doing it with ds2 for that long, I felt so guilty. But I soon realised giving ds2 formula was the best thing for him.

Cantstanddisney · 29/09/2017 13:20

If you have a ds1, can you tell which of his friends were breastfed and for how long? nope.......

If it's not right for you, then switch. In the grand scheme of things I don't think it really matters, baby will be happy and healthy on formula, like all the others! Flowers

NotesToSing · 29/09/2017 13:29

FF is brilliant! You'll be so much happier once you've switched x

gamerwidow · 29/09/2017 14:06

Of course it's ok to stop. BF isn't making you or your baby happy FF is a perfectly good alternative in these circumstances.

DarthMaiden · 29/09/2017 14:12

It’s a simple matter of doing what’s best for you and your baby.

For some it might be BF for other it might be FF.

In my case I did dual feeding after 6 weeks - worked for me. Wouldn’t work for someone else.

There’s nothing to feel bad about. It’s great that we all have the option.

Being a good mum isn’t about a milk supply, it’s about making good choices and if FF is working better for your baby then that’s the right thing to do. Flowers

kaytee87 · 29/09/2017 14:19

Op premade formula is great for getting out and about it comes in 7oz bottles

kaytee87 · 29/09/2017 14:19

Or tiny newborn ones actually

Unhappyyear1 · 29/09/2017 14:21

It's completely up to you but personally I'd give it another two weeks. Try anti reflux medication and revaluate.

My daughter had horrendous reflux and medication took a while to get right.

Reflux does not mean you need to formula feed unless you want to.

Unhappyyear1 · 29/09/2017 14:22

And agree blueberry. DC3 struggled with over supply which looked like reflux for first early weeks but block feeding helped.

LetsSplashMummy · 29/09/2017 14:32

By FF you have found a solution that makes you both happier, I think you are lucky and your baby is lucky to have you on his side. You might feel guilty if you give up but you would feel more guilty if you persevered and had another DC going into hospital for something so easily fixed.

Breast is not best in every single case (my breast milk had toxic medications in it, my hyperthyroid friend's was too watery) and for whatever, not understood, reason yours is making your baby uncomfortable.

Be kind to yourself, you are making this decision for all the right reasons.

SprinklesandIcecream · 29/09/2017 14:45

Of course not OP! Is it breastfeeding or is it the fact that formula comes out of a bottle? You could try expressing if you wanted to continue but honestly, no point medicating, having an upset baby just because of breastfeeding.

Good luck in whatever you decide. SmileFlowers

kali110 · 29/09/2017 17:45

No ywnbu. It's better to feed the baby and have him happy and you be happy! You've bf for 4 weeks still Flowers

NameChange30 · 29/09/2017 17:50

You wouldn't be unreasonable to switch to formula, not at all.

In your position I would see a lactation consultant and get advice on possible causes/solutions for the reflux before giving up breastfeeding, maybe try block feeding as PPs suggested, rule out tongue tie in case that's causing him to take in extra air, discuss an elimination diet in case there's anything you're eating that's causing an issue. (It can't be dairy though if the formula isn't causing any problems!)

However if you can't or don't want to pursue the above, please just go ahead and use formula and do your best not to feel guilty!

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