AIBU to wonder why thread's are deemed OK until OP pulls them?

[KrytensNanobots]

This morning for example, horrible thread, and MN said "they allow discussion on robust innermost thoughts" so the thread will be standing.
OP pulls it and it's suddenly deletion message "the last thing we want to do is upset people so it;ll be going now."
People saying it was upsetting this morning but it was OK to be upset then?
I don't get it.

Commercial content provider in hypocrisy scandal.

Front page news, surely ?

Mumsnet's deletion message made it pretty clear that this OPs hurt feelings were worth more than the hurt caused by the OP.

Pandora, that did occur to me and nearly didn't post because of that. I just found MN's stance so baffling, as earlier this morning they said the thread would be standing as there's nothing wrong with robust inner thoughts and debate.
It's so far removed from what being a supportive site is, if mocking/being repulsed is OK by them in the name of debate.
Not to mention the deletion message was unbelievably hypocritical as people being upset didn't matter before OP decided to pull it.

Meh. Thread deletions are part of why I don’t post much. It’s frustrating to put time and effort into posting on a thread, then come back a few hours later to the thread being zapped for one reason or another.
Seems to happen a lot these days.

I only read about 2 pages into the thread in question and it didn’t seem too bad at that point. An uncomfortable topic, maybe, but not so offensive it was deletion worthy surely?

Fwiw I think the OP stated in nearly every single post that she didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings by what she was thinking and that she was sorry if she'd offended anyone but naively thought she could discuss her opinions on here. She wasn't alone either in admitting what she did either.

I had a post deleted a few days ago about sex after a c section, asking how long people waited. It got deleted (despite loads of positive comments) and my account got temporarily suspended while they checked I wasn't a 'troll'. I then got an email saying I was being too 'graphic' (have you seen the stuff in the sex section!?!?) then they decided to reactivate my account and put the thread back up. But I found it really upsetting, I was genuinely seeking help and answers and was made to feel like a troll and as though I was being offensive.

But threads about being disgusted by peoples bodies don't come down immediately!?!? There is even a comment on another thread calling a formula feeding mum "yet another shite mum that can't be arsed" and that stayed up!?!? What???

I was watching the thread in question but only until early this morning so missed the "turn". Up until then it was full of "you're so brave to admit this, well done Hun" style comments. I'm glad the OP was handed her arse in the end. It was one of the most wanky navel gazing threads I've read on here for a long time.

If I recall correctly, MNHQ used to only pull threads if they were by a troll or the OP mistakenly gave too much RL info in their post. Now any OP who doesn't like the replies flounces off and get's MNHQ to close down the thread. It's wrong because sometimes posters expend a lot of time and effort in their replies and then suddenly it disappears.

If I recall correctly, MNHQ used to only pull threads if they were by a troll or the OP mistakenly gave too much RL info in their post. Now any OP who doesn't like the replies flounces off and get's MNHQ to close down the thread. It's wrong because sometimes posters expend a lot of time and effort in their replies and then suddenly it disappears.

Presumably it suits the advertisers. He who pays the piper etc.

We would have removed the thread even if the OP hadn't requested us to

That's not what you said though, it couldn't have been clearer you weren't going to.
You said
While we completely understand your point of view here, we won't be removing this thread for now. We can see the OP has said this is something she's ashamed of, and is having an open and honest conversation about her inner thoughts.

Sorry, I know MN HQ decisions etc, but you knew it was upsetting and not supportive, and making fun/repulsed by people with various ailments etc, so why say the last thing you want is for people to be upset? It didn't matter before the OP decided the thread wasn't going the right way and people were saying "hang on a minute, be nice."

Kryten you can read the deletion message two ways: they don't actually say they cared about any of the people reporting it earlier.

They are responding to the OP being upset.

'The op has requested this thread comes down, and as the last thing we ever want to do is to upset someone, we've agreed to remove it'

As that came after them not caring that the thread was upsetting other people, it's rather clear where their focus is.

Op upset = op gets to rewind time and pretend that no harm was done.

Others who affirmed and happily agreed that it was perfectly ok to find disabled ugly fat people utterly repulsive, well they get to carry on with their day content in their self-satisfied prejudice.

But the people hurt by this, well they just have to lump it. If they reported they were told that their upset didn't matter. I personally didn't report as I think that kind of thread should stand, to show people exactly what people like me have to deal with, and also the other responses, saying no and explaining why it's not ok to scorn those who don't look as normal, or healthy, or thin as other people have decided they should look.

Oh give over Pandora. She stated that whilst managing to be fucking offensive and hurtful in every post. And it's a good job some decent people got hold of it or you'd all still be there congratulating yourselves on how lovely you are condescending to speak to the scary less than perfect people who cross your paths.

And the fact that HQ confirm they were getting reports but ONLY when poor diddums OP got upset did they delete is yet further confirmation that it's all OK as long as the GF OP isn't crying.

in an email from MNHQ 2/9/2015

We don't normally delete whole threads unless they break our site rules

LurkingHusband
in an email from MNHQ 2/9/2015
We don't normally delete whole threads unless they break our site rules

Yes, exactly. now they close on demand by flouncers when the replies don't go their way.

And they wait to see what the majority opinion is before closing down deeply offensive threads.

Because if the majority approve of celebrating prejudice, it can stay, no problems.

Kryten you can read the deletion message two ways: they don't actually say they cared about any of the people reporting it earlier.They are responding to the OP being upset. 'The op has requested this thread comes down, and as the last thing we ever want to do is to upset someone, we've agreed to remove it' As that came after them not caring that the thread was upsetting other people, it's rather clear where their focus is.

That's true, it certainly seems that way. I'm probably going to really get my terms wrong here so sorry in advance if I do, but doesn't this site have a policy against disablism and purpot to be supportive to all?
How does saying you're repulsed by certain traits/conditions get to stand in the name of debate?

I once wrote a thread that spiralled out of control. I had to plead for them over several hours for them to be deleted. I was very pregnant and very vulnerable at the time (Shouldn't have posted on AIBU). They are very inconsistent.

Grrrrr just started reading the thread about call in parents mummy and daddy and its been deleted because the op wanted it gone! Why ?!

Grrrrr just started reading the thread about call in parents mummy and daddy and its been deleted because the op wanted it gone! Why ?

What? Why?! Just been on that thread and there was no bun fight whatsoever.
(Makes you wonder if it's a journalist garnering opinions for a shite filler article then pulling when they've got their answers.) Which is why I didn't give a full comment. Just "what's wrong with that?"