To be so fucking stressed

[BrightonBelleCat]

My day goes like this:

Take dc to school at 8
Drive to work
Finish at 2.30
Pick up dc drive home
Start second job (freelance pa) in between cooking, cleaning and general running about.

I'm still working sat here sorting out calendars, reports etc.

Surely it would be easier for me to just do one job full time? If I ask dp for help with anything he says well I work full time too and huffs and puffs.

What do I do?

Look for one job, and DP should do 50% of domestic work and parenting.

What do you do? Refuse to be taken for a mug.

I work full time and wouldn't dream of being a work shy prick in the home.

That sounds really tough. Your partner sounds very unhelpful.

How old are your children? Have you costed out childcare?

I'd say new job and new dp who isn't a selfish twat would reduce your stress drastically.

Why isn't your partner helping with the household responsibilities? Are his arms broken or is just a lazy mummy's boy?

Book yourself a weeks holiday and leave them all to it...

What does he do in the home?

He is really helpful at the weekends. REALLY helpful as in he charges around doing everything and explaining as he goes and tells me what he is doing. I would just like him to help a bit more in the week.

We are a 'blended' family I hate that word. We don't have dc together but share the house with both sets of kids.

I have to give my dh a kick up the bump sometimes. I think a lot of women, myself included, just are able to get shit done, so we just do it.

I've just had a discussion with dh as we are selling our home and pointed out I'm the one preparing the house each time for viewings, dealing with the agency, juggling viewings with young dc and I bloody work ft. I'm also slightly stressed.

Serve your DP mouldy bread for dinner during the week.

Sorry that's only helpful suggestion I can think of

Hang on, so you are caring for his child/ren in the week and he won't help out?

No I'm caring for my children he is caring for his (as in school runs) but I'm cooking for all the children and us.

I'm thinking of looking for one full time role now so I know how my day is going to go but don't want to pay for childcare.

How do you be a freelance pa? Sounds fab!

Wips it's a ballache. I work as a PA from home and also have an office job.

If you work 'part time' AND look after children it is often more work than working full time.
Full time workers must by definition have help with school run and possibly feeding children, so the work is split.
It is harder to do the whole school run both ways, get home and have to feed them, get them to and from clubs, if you have just worked 5 or 6 hours yourself with colleagues who expect you to acheive the same as the fulltimers and really need to have a rest!
Beware all mums, as it usually is the mum, planning to work school hours only! Also beware not being taken seriously at work, when you have to leave to pick them up at 3pm.

If you work 'part time' AND look after children it is often more work than working full time.
Full time workers must by definition have help with school run and possibly feeding children, so the work is split.
It is harder to do the whole school run both ways, get home and have to feed them, get them to and from clubs, if you have just worked 5 or 6 hours yourself with colleagues who expect you to acheive the same as the fulltimers and really need to have a rest!
Beware all mums, as it usually is the mum, planning to work school hours only! Also beware not being taken seriously at work, when you have to leave to pick them up at 3pm.

It's great that he helps on the weekend, but that does not get him off the hook for helping during the week. Tell him from now on he has to come up with dinner at least twice a week, as well as washing up, and unless the kids are very young, they should ALL be helping out with household chores.

You're not being unreasonable at all.

Can only echo what others have said, you need to have a conversation with your other half. You're in this together, so you need to work together to make it all happen.

My Husband has moments where I swear his mouth isn't connected to his brain and he comes out with the most stupid shit he possibly could. I was recently without work for only a month for the first time in 15 years. I decided to take it easy, is that sin? I've never taken my life easy, that entire 15 years I've worked full time, I've often been the main wage earner, I've supported him over years when he wasn't working and all of my jobs have been towards the epic end of stressful. You know what he says to me? "What did you do over those four weeks? Fuck all!"

Over that month I sorted out the household admin he'd ignored and found another job, did all of his daily lunches, dinners and generally kept the place running. Sometimes they seem to forget, when they're sat around enjoying themselves, that someone keeps it all running smoothly in the background even if they don't see it happening.

My advice - consolidate what you're doing, find a single job that maybe can be flexible for you. Have a proper conversation with your other half and reach some kind of agreement, he needs to see it from both sides. And, perhaps most importantly, get yourself some "me time"! Some time away from everything that stresses you out doing something you really enjoy.

Best of luck