To be worried about DH going away on business with female colleague?

[MyBumAintHalfSore]

A few weeks back DH announced that a new woman had started at his work. A lead buyer with a reputation for being cut-throat and ruthless.

A week or so later he tells me this woman is rubbing people up the wrong way as she's so ruthless and basically gets what she wants when she wants it with no regard to anyone else.

This week he's telling me that he's met this woman now and she "let on" to him and seems ok but gossip is spreading around the workplace that she's come in like a bull in a China shop and is making quite the impact. She's the same age as him. I'm 10 years younger and a quiet, passive type. The way he talks it's as if he's fascinated by her.

Then he tells me he me he may have to go on a few business trips with her around the UK.

Now he tells me this will happen in a fortnight and they will be going to Glasgow together. This involves them hiring a car, driving 300 miles, going out to dinner with clients and then staying overnight in a hotel. Separate rooms obviously.

He's making all the right noises "oh I'm dreading it, 2 days stuck with her, wish you could come and keep me company" etc etc but he's clearly fascinated by her by the way he goes on! AIBU to be concerned?

Are you proposing a Saudi style segregation of the sexes in the workplace? If it's his job then he has to go.

The rest is a comment on the state of your relationship. If he wants to cheat he'll cheat. It's not up to her to police his fidelity.

Sorry you are unhappy.

You are being monumentally sexist.

Don't let him take any bananas with him on the trip. There is a real danger of him slipping on the skins and landing PIV on top of his college.

mybum you can't help how you feel and it sounds like you are slightly justified in feeling your DH may be tempted to be unfaithful.
Is his new colleague single? It sounds like she will be the one calling the shots in the relationship be it a professional one or otherwise.
Bit of a cliche maybe, but how about trying to meet her before they visit Glasgow. I guess it depends on the industry/distance,but in my sphere it would be quite normal for a spouse to meet up with partner and his/her colleagues for a Friday night drink. You might find your fears are unfounded and she is just a great personality.
I do think the issue here is with your DH.

OP I travel a lot for business with male colleagues. Many of those guys I really like and the trips can be good fun. We often drink too much in the evening (unless clients are with us) and moan about work. I have never stepped outside the boundaries of a friendly professional relationship with any of them nor would I do so. I am not on the market as I am married. This applies even when things are rocky at home. My hubby is currently struggling with his MH and our sex life has been impacted. I still wouldn't cheat on him - at home or away!

I don't think there is any reason to think 2 opposite sexed people can't travel for business without a line being crossed. If you don't trust your husband I think that is something you need to address but he is not more likely to cheat because he is off for business with this woman.

Very much sounds like he has a crush on her. Not much you can do about it though.

I think the real problem here is that you don't trust your husband. It could well be (and probably is) absolutely nothing with this woman at work, but because he's cheated before and neither of you are happy in your relationship at the moment, you can't really think clearly about it.

I think you urgently need to talk to him and/or a counsellor and evaluate your relationship. Change things or move on.

It's if or when he STOPS talking about her that you need to worry.

'Let'on' means telling something that is sopposed to be 'hush hush'

You have a very low opinion of your DH and a lack of trust. Should you even be in a relationship until those issues are fixed?

You say you are quite and passive, maybe he finds you boring and her a bit more exciting. I'm not saying that to be nasty.