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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu not to mention my good luck?

70 replies

WTFsmh12 · 28/09/2017 09:15

I have just recently had a stroke of good luck, a small lottery win , which I am thankful for as I was really gonna struggle this Christmas! However I am very reluctant to mention the lil win to my family, I.e sisters, etc as they have previously asked me for money constantly, even when I've only been on benefits in the past, and have my own family to look after,and then one just never pays back anyway. Both are pretty bad at managing their money, They borrows money from any family member they can, I wouldn't mind if it was for actual food, or gas and elec but nope it's goes on four cans and fags so I won't help anymore! Have my own family to support and get no help from them ever! AIBU or just plain selfish not to mention anything

OP posts:
LadyinCement · 28/09/2017 09:51

I have sworn dh to secrecy if we win the Euromillions!!

Years ago bil had a win on the Football Pools. (Do they still have the Pools?) It was £15K, I think. So what did bil do? Go and tell his (large) family and after one had had this, another that, and his mother a new boiler, there was only enough left to buy dsis and bil a new dining room table and chairs. After many years dsis is still steaming about it.

BendydickCuminsnatch · 28/09/2017 09:57

Say nothing and feel zero guilt! It wouldn't even cross my mind to mention it as I'd feel like I was boasting and/or opening myself up to others' opinions and pleas.

kateandme · 28/09/2017 10:05

Yanbu no say nothing.

AnotherShirtRuined · 28/09/2017 10:05

Don't tell them. Ever. If they took your benefits to buy cigarettes surely they would feel entitled to your lottery win. I also agree with the poster(s) who said to not tell your children as they will let it slip at some point. Just treat your own family, enjoy your good luck and have a wonderful Christmas. Congratulations!

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 28/09/2017 10:06

Adding my voice to the 'loose lips sinks ships' message - say nothing OP and Congratulations on your win. :)

PyongyangKipperbang · 28/09/2017 10:07

Would they be ponying up some cash for you if they had won?

You know that they wouldnt, and thats you shouldnt tell them.

PyongyangKipperbang · 28/09/2017 10:08

thats why...

AnotherShirtRuined · 28/09/2017 10:08

Oh and if anyone asks where you got the money just say that you have been saving up throughout the year. Surely not even someone as selfish as your sisters would expect to borrow your savings to buy themselves cigarettes. One would think...

KarateKitten · 28/09/2017 10:09

What kind of families expect a handout from someone else's win! Seriously! If I won the lotto I'd give siblings and parents something but if they started hinting at getting money they'd get nothing for being bad mannered dickheads who couldn't just be happy for me.

LeninaCrowne · 28/09/2017 10:09

No, one would want to "borrow" the whole lot, then another one would be upset that you had given to someone else and want the same amount then someone else would want their "share" etc. etc.

I'm sure if you total up all the money you've lent over the years but not been paid back it would come to more than your win, so see it as payback to you and keep quiet!

FluffyNinja · 28/09/2017 10:09

Nooo! Don't tell them anything as they're cheeky fuckers. If they ask how you can afford a nice Christmas this year, tell them you saved hard all year for it and there's nothing to stop them doing the same.

DressedCrab · 28/09/2017 10:10

Say nothing. And don't be tempted to spend more on them than you usually do.

Happy Christmas.

amusedbush · 28/09/2017 10:11

Keep it to yourself and enjoy it. It's nobody's business.

FindTheLightSwitchDarren · 28/09/2017 10:13

Yanbu. Enjoy your windfall! If anyone asks how you can afford anything nice you buy with it, just say you've been saving.

EvilDoctorBallerinaDuckKeidis · 28/09/2017 10:15

YANBU. What are your plans for the money? 😃

TheFaerieQueene · 28/09/2017 10:15

Don’t tell your children either unless they are too young to speak. They will give the game away Grin

Enjoy your financial windfall!

PyongyangKipperbang · 28/09/2017 10:18

I wouldnt say that you have been saving, they will still put their hands out as they will think you have a pocket full of cash. Say that you have been buying stuff throughout the year.

Although I have to say, I would never ever ask my sister or whoever how they can afford whatever they spent on Xmas, and if anyone asked me they would be told to mind their own fucking business!

Knittedfairy · 28/09/2017 10:19

Definitely keep quiet. Your family could possibly be even less grateful than usual (if that's possible) when you give, or loan them money' because, y'know, it's not like you saved it, or earned it...

PuppyMonkey · 28/09/2017 10:28

It wasn't a couple of million was it? Grin

Assuming it wasn't, I agree keep schtumm and enjoy it while you can.

Chaos777 · 28/09/2017 10:30

Say nothing to anyone.
Everybody's your friend when you have money to spare. Where were they when you needed a hand?
Put it away somewhere safe & hidden, and use it for a special treat for your own family or for emergencies, or a rainy day.

morningconstitutional2017 · 28/09/2017 10:31

Say nothing. It's only human nature to feel jealous about others' good fortune and it can cause all manner of ill-feeling. Enjoy it without being ostentatious and no one else need know.

jenm87 · 28/09/2017 10:33

lucky you! dont tell anyone and do what you want to with it, if its for christmas and anyone asks how you managed to afford items tell them there is a thing thats called saving, small amounts go in to a separate bank account every week or month and you need to give the bank 30 days notice to when you want to withdraw it so they cant borrow money off you in the future. i recently won some money and mine is going on christmas presents. you are not selfish for not wanting to tell them, its your business your money go spend it on what you want. if i win money i normally wait til i have spent it then tell who i want lol

velourvoyageur · 28/09/2017 10:33

Goodness me, don't say anything and bloody enjoy it! Sounds fab OP, hope you have a lovely and stress-free Christmas now.

They don't have a passport to be unreliable and use you as a cashpoint just because they're family, you're quite entitled to draw boundaries with relatives. Trust your own judgement and don't let them make you feel guilty.

MsPassepartout · 28/09/2017 10:36

YANBU. Don't tell them a thing about it.

PollyFlint · 28/09/2017 10:38

First of all, congratulations! What a lovely surprise that must have been for you.

Secondly, as others have said, YANBU. Maybe if the circumstances were different you'd want to tell them but if they're people that have bothered you for money in the past, then I wouldn't tell them. You're doing the right thing. There are definitely a few people I wouldn't tell if I was in your shoes.

Enjoy your lovely windfall! So nice to get it before Christmas, too. :)

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