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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Should kids always say please

39 replies

cakethighs · 28/09/2017 09:06

If DS (7) asks for a glass of sweet, piece of fruit, something to be passed to him, etc should he always have to say please? I'm blue in the face telling him to say please but not sure if it's something that matters that much between family. He isn't rude outside the house. Can't remember if I always say please to my DH for small everyday tasks.

OP posts:

AnneOfCleavage · 28/09/2017 14:15

I just ignore any requests without a please and they soon cotton on to re-asking but with a please added!! I got fed up with reminding them to say please so tried this way and it so works and I get less stressed

Starlight2345 · 28/09/2017 14:19

I also think modelling is improtant ( not suggesting you don't OP)

I say please and thank you to my DS. I often get comments on how well mannered he is...He has impeciable manners for other good for me ( most of the time)

Eolian · 28/09/2017 14:24

There are plenty of polite ways of requesting things without necessarily saying the actual word 'please'.
"Mum, could I possibly have...?" "Would it be ok if I...?" "I'd really like...., is that ok?" etc.

Fresh8008 · 28/09/2017 14:26

Having to say please for everything in your own home seems very oppressive. Its their home to!

queenofthedump · 28/09/2017 14:33

You can be polite without saying please though.

"Would you mind awfully passing the salt?"

Rubberduckies · 28/09/2017 14:45

If you're getting tired of reminding him - can you not just ignore until he rephrases? I'm sure it won't take him long to work it out!

flownthecoopkiwi · 28/09/2017 14:49

i have found that my SIL doesn't require my nephew to do it. It really annoys me, as I make him say it

notacooldad · 28/09/2017 14:58

We always brought the DSs to be polite but I like it informal between us at home. However DS2 is always uber polite and it is rather amusing. E.g. I'll shout up stairs 'hey, DS do you want a drink'
I get back ' no thank you, I'm fine but thank you very much for asking'

DS1 would shout, 'nah, I'm ok, ta!'

Anecdoche · 28/09/2017 15:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LoyaltyAndLobster · 28/09/2017 15:10

Yes he should.

When you ask for something you say please.
When you receive or are given something you say thank you.

If DS asked for something and didn't say please at the end, he wouldn't be given it.

BusterTheBulldog · 28/09/2017 15:14

Yes always. Same with adults. No please, no receive.

Ellendegeneres · 28/09/2017 15:32

Always.
On the way home today ds told me he was in pain so 'I think it would help very much if I had some chocolate when we get in, to take my mind off the pain mummy. Please' 😂 Dammit. Kid got his chocolate. He's got reason to be in pain too, I was expecting it so if all I need is to give him a few chocolate buttons to get his mind off it I'm winning. And he said please!

RavingRoo · 28/09/2017 16:05

Yes always, to everyone. Please and thanks.

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore · 29/09/2017 11:19

I think it does matter but I don't always remember to remind ds to say please / thank you; and he doesn't always remember to say it, any more than I do! I do like to think that I always ask for things politely... ds does not!

I also find it almost entirely impossible to say 'no' to ds when he says 'please'. He's only 2, so I'm going to need to work on this!

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