Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

AIBU to resign over phone to a great employer whilst on sick leave?

25 replies

Figamol · 28/09/2017 08:16

Just looking for courage really I suppose!

I need to resign today from my job. I've been there for 18 months, its a great little company and the great boss believes in me. He took a chance on me after my career break to have kids.

But its full time, a long commute, poorly (comparatively) paid and as I'm number 2, a very stressful position of responsibility for a company thats not my own.

We're only 8, one is quite pregnant and he wanted to let go of another so timing is poor on my part.

I've been offered a great new job (they approached me), closer to home, working 4 days a week for 40% more pay than what I'm on now. Its a no brainer and recent health events have been a total reality check for me.

Problem is I'm on sick leave (4 weeks, but may need to extend to 6, also an uncomfortable ask of him) after an unexpected major operation. I need to resign today to make sure I can serve my notice before the start date. I really want to do it face to face but I'm not allowed to drive and Im still in pain so I need to do it over the phone which is not as respectful as he deserves.

I feel terrible about it and totally lacking in courage. I'm sat here feeling sick. Any words of advice, ways to handle the conversation?

OP posts:

DontCallMeCharlotte · 28/09/2017 08:22

I would send an email in the first instance. That way you can say some "nice" stuff and give him an opportunity to take it in before you speak. You have a perfectly legit reason for not doing it face to face. Good luck.

Piffpaffpoff · 28/09/2017 08:22

Just take a deep breath and do it. Maybe email first to set a time for you to call so that you are not playing phone tag.

You can frame it as your bout of ill-health has made you reassess your priorities and you've been made an offer that you can't turn down. Then the usual platitudes about wonderful place to work etc.

It may be that this suits him - long term sick makes small business owners nervous!

Best of luck.

beardedlobster · 28/09/2017 08:22

I'd say use the fact you are on sick leave to your advantage. Recent events have shows you have to look after yourself and your health and you don't think that is possible if you continue in your role.
You have to do what is write for you. It sounds a no brainer. Good luck

notanurse2017 · 28/09/2017 08:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Figamol · 28/09/2017 08:29

Thanks for your messages :)

Do you think I should mention the new job or just say I'm reorganising my priorities due to this recent reality check and have a couple of leads by which to do so?

(Im not long term sick, this is a one off and once recovered dont expect any more issues!)

OP posts:

ToneDeafHamster · 28/09/2017 08:32

Can you skype him?

Original poster

Figamol · 28/09/2017 08:35

No, he's at event today but I've just texted him to ask him to call me when he gets chance.

OP posts:

relaxitllbeok · 28/09/2017 08:39

I definitely would mention the new job, personally, if I liked the employer. piffpaffpoff's presentation of it was excellent. (Even if you actually applied for the job before the current illness!)

I hope you get well soon and enjoy the new job!

TammySwansonTwo · 28/09/2017 08:43

I get it - you're like me, you take way too much on board for an employer and treat it as if it's your own business. But it's not! This is a no brainer, don't feel bad about it.

My only reservation- is this surgery going to resolve your health issue, or will it be ongoing? Getting sick when you're in a job where they know you to be reliable is one thing, being sick during a probationary period in a new job is a whole new kettle of fish. I hope you're doing okay.

Piffpaffpoff · 28/09/2017 08:44

Definitely mention the new job. You'll be needing a reference from him so better he knows than is surprised in two weeks time with a reference request. That might impact on how he fills in the reference!

Crumbs1 · 28/09/2017 08:48

Skype or a phone call telling the truth completely ( honesty is always best policy). You never know when your paths will cross again.
Follow up with a nice letter.

LazyDailyMailJournos · 28/09/2017 08:49

I wouldn't give too much detail. So yes, tell him about the new job but I would keep it to "An opportunity has come up which is closer to home".

He may not call you until late, so I would be tempted to email first TBH. You can start off by apologising for emailing but explain that you are conscious that he's away today so this was the best way of contacting him. Finish by saying you are happy to talk whenever he has a moment to call you.

OhTheRoses · 28/09/2017 09:01

Speak over the phone first. Email to arrange a mutually convenient time for the call.

Be entirely honest. You were approached with an opportunity that allows you to work 20% less for 40% more money which is closer to home. You have loved working for and with him but in the context of work life balance this is an opportunity you can't let go. You hope always to be able to keep in touch and one day hope you will be able to work together again.

RB68 · 28/09/2017 09:11

Just remember at the end of the day he would have no qualms in doing what is right for his company if it involved letting you go - same as the other employee he is letting go. So you must look after yourself, your health and your family and do this thing.

Treat the phone call as you giving him a heads u that your email is ont he way, be clear you have enjoyed working for him and the co is great its more the circumstances and fit with your life.

Original poster

Figamol · 28/09/2017 09:16

Thanks again! This is great advice. I didn't want it to look like I've been looking when I've been on sick leave but I was honestly approached and the process was one interview and an offer :)

No, there will be no ongoing sick leave. I will be fine with this period of rest :) I definitely wouldn't leave if that was the case.

OP posts:

notanurse2017 · 29/09/2017 07:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

babyboyHarrison · 29/09/2017 07:44

New job is likely to want a reference from your current employer so you need to tell him.

Original poster

Figamol · 29/09/2017 08:04

Well we were playing phone tag even after texts.

So I sent him a very nice email (apologising profusely) explaining the op had made me refelct on priorities and that by chance I had been approached for this new position and that I am sure he would understand I cant pass it up. Plus lots of nice stuff about the company and how Im happy to freelance for certain strategic projects until he has the right resources in place.

He sent a lovely email back as he still couldnt speak, saying I was absolutely doing the right thing, family and health first, and whilst there would be challenges for him and the company, as a friend he thought it was brilliant. And not to worry about sorting any transitions until Im feeling better. He was so nice I feel worse....!

So all done and Im relieved!!!! Thanks for your words of advice, it really helped me formulate in my mind!

OP posts:

Piffpaffpoff · 29/09/2017 12:14

Perfect! That will be a weight off your mind now.

notanurse2017 · 29/09/2017 14:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 29/09/2017 14:38

Just be reallly honest and apologetic and offer to do what you can to facilitate the handover OP

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 29/09/2017 14:39

Ha ! Well done

Moanyoldcow · 29/09/2017 15:00

He proved himself to be a decent person there - very pleased for you OP. Good luck with the new job.

balsamicbarbara · 29/09/2017 18:26

I'm a bit late to this one but I was going to suggest that if you were that close and key to the owner he would probably have been happy to come and visit you at home if you'd asked.

Tablefor4 · 29/09/2017 18:48

Since it seems like a very decent company and boss, any chance you can help find someone great to take your place?

Flip