To be worried?

[waveringwavering]

DP and I live in different parts of the country, so for day to day communication we what's app, call every other day etc.

Yesterday we chatted in the morning and he then messaged mid-morning to say he was heading out for the day cycling. I dropped him a couple of what's app messages during the day which I knew wouldn't go through until he got home and connected to wifi. By 10 last night they were still showing one tick (so not received at his end), so I texted instead. That went through but no reply. So at midnight I phoned and it rang out and went to voicemail.

I don't know what his evening plans were, but if he wasn't going to be around/uncontactable he'd normally message to let me know - he's very good for staying in touch - so the lack of contact is completely out of character for him/us.

The messages not being received at his end is what's worrying me as it suggests he hasn't made it home. I don't have any reason to think he's up to anything he shouldn't be, but obviously I'm now starting to worry that something's happened Less dramatic possibilities are that his phone died whilst he was out and he dozed off and didn't recharge it (happened before), but if he'd fallen asleep that early he'd normally be up and have messaged me back by now.

AIBU to be starting to freak out?

That's a great plan mollify. I'll give it until 12.

Dulra it's no contact since yesterday morning. He's lost his phone before but then emailed me instead

It's very worrying when something like this happens. I once started a thread when i couldn't get hold of DD1 who lives in London. Mid conversation she just went off grid. I was frantic. Turns out her phone was being glitchy and had run out of battery and she had no charger with her. She was meeting friends and going out for the evening then stayed over at her friends on a whim. She didn't charge her phone until late the following day.

I hope something like that has happened with your DP and he gets back in touch soon.

You are NBU and anyone who says you are is crazy - it’s out of character but probably nothing sinister, still it’s totally natural to worry especially when you are far away from someone. Keep us updated.

YANBU
Message the flatmate ASAP
Check hospitals (ask for the admissions team)
Check with police if there's a chance he could have been arrested
If flatmate hasn't seen him, report him missing to police. You don't have to wait 24 hours, that's a myth. If you are genuinely concerned then report him. He's an adult so they might not do much yet, but they might be able to help. They will ask if you can go to his house or send someone round to check though (depending on area, they should be able to go for you but massive government funding cuts mean there will be a big delay)

How far away is he? Do you know any neighbours or friends that could pop round for you?

If you are really worried then contact the flat mate now as he may not pick up the fb message right away, you haven’t heard from him for 24 hours so I would just do it now - hopefully it will put your mind at ease.

Yanbu. I would be very worried too. I am also a worrier and my DP wouldn't do that without reason. Hope everything is ok

Have you heard anything yet OP? Hoping so. Xo

Nothing yet :( I've just checked the local hospitals and he's not coming up on the systems. I'm trying to hold out a bit on contacting the flat mate as (perhaps stupidly) I don't want to come over as the hysterical gf.

I'd contact the flat mate. You don't have to sound like the hysterical gf, just a calm message saying not been able to get hold of him for over 24hrs, is he there and has he lost his phone

I would contact the flat mate now, you won't seem hysterical at all. Have you tried police stations?

Hope you're ok OP

Hope you are doing okay OP.

I hope you've heard something by now OP. Thinking of you

Well my what's app messages have changed to delivered in the last 10 minutes, but not read as of yet.

That is positive. I am willing to bet he has had a phone issue an has only just managed to get it sorted. Hopefully he will message you soon.

That would worry me too OP. My DH went sea fishing in the morning and dropped his phone in the sea straight away. Got home at 10 in the night after a great days fishing and some beers to find a massively stressed frantic me, ready to throttle him and kiss him at the same time!

Hopefully then it was just a phone issue op

Ha! Contact made. Apparently he went out with friends and stayed over with them. 'I hope I didn't worry you too much'.
That's all fine, but a message would have been nice I am so pissed off.

Thank you for being so kind and holding my hand through this.

Hooray.

@waveringwavering oh wow!!! I would be fuming! You deserve a huge present for that as well as a meal out and an expensive bottle of fizz!!! I'm so pleased he's ok though.

My partner has done this before and I went from absolute fuming to so relieved he wasn't dead I couldn't be angry every 5 minutes.

I feel like an idiot for worrying now. Relieved but super pissed off.

Yay I love a happy ending! (OP's frustration aside)