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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To keep DS2 off today even though he’s not technically ill?

58 replies

CredulousThickos · 28/09/2017 07:53

DD, me and DS1 have all been throwing up over the past two days, in that order with maybe six hours in between succumbing to it.

I kept DS2 off yesterday because I figured he’d be next, I couldn’t have taken him myself and didn’t think it was right to ask someone else. Apart from being quite subdued and teary he’s fine, no sickness.

I’m still puking this morning, as is DS1. DS2 is still fine (as is DH but then he has a cast iron stomach). DD isn’t throwing up anymore but has to stay home (48hr policy).

None of the other kids in his class have a bug and I don’t want him to be patient zero. I just need some reassurance that I’m doing the right thing? He’s only six, so it’s not like he’s missing vital exams or anything. DH (stickler for the rules) thinks I should get one of the neighbours to take him in (kids at same school) but I think that’s asking a lot when we’re all so sick.

WWYD?

OP posts:
SuburbanRhonda · 28/09/2017 08:37

I'd call the school and ask their opinion maybe.

There are no medically qualified staff in schools, as is frequently pointed out on here. The parent is the expert where their child's health is concerned.

Glumglowworm · 28/09/2017 08:40

Yanbu

He's only six and is still likely to come down with what the rest of you have. If he's not himself as you said, that might be the start of it.

If it was the day of a GCSE exam that would BU. But he's six not sixteen. It's fine.

Bumbumtaloo · 28/09/2017 08:41

Honestly if it was my DC I'd send them. As they are not already sick they could end up missing quite a bit of school. My two never seem to get the same bug from each other.

Original poster
CredulousThickos · 28/09/2017 08:42

Silverdale, exactly my thoughts.

Yes he was really weepy yesterday, cried at a film (totally out of character) and slept in the afternoon. So he’s not 100% anyway. Just (thankfully) no vomming —yet—.

OP posts:
RedSkyAtNight · 28/09/2017 09:01

My DC rarely catch bugs at the same time as each other.
Really don't buy this "he's bound to get it" advice. Surely keeping him off waiting him to get it and then keeping him off when/if he actually gets it, just means he's off school for double the time necessary?

Mittens1969 · 28/09/2017 09:10

It has to be your call. But as he slept in the afternoon and he never does normally, it does sound like he's not well so you're right to keep him at home. I wouldn't ask your neighbour with, she'll be very nervous about D&V affecting her household. I did ask a neighbour to take DD1 into school when DD2 had chickenpox but she'd already had it.

I don't think you have much choice if your DH can't take him and you're still unwell.

BeyondThePage · 28/09/2017 09:32

trouble is when do you stop.... DS2 may be ill tomorrow, but DD can go back to school...

then DS1 the day after, but DS2 would still be too ill...

if you send the others back they have a 2 day sick record, DS2 has a 4 day on his record already, half of which he wasn't actually sick for.

But what is most likely is all will stay off til Monday,

(then - if it was our house! - DS2 will not get ill till Sunday and have to stay home til Tuesday/Wednesday giving him a bloomin awful sick record despite hardly being ill)

JakeBallardswife · 28/09/2017 09:35

You did the right thing.

Sirzy · 28/09/2017 09:36

I am amazed at the amount of people who think a “just in case” view is ok. How much time could a perfectly healthy child with 2 siblings end up missing then without needing to!

FindTheLightSwitchDarren · 28/09/2017 09:41

But it isn't "just in case"; op said he is poorly, just not vomiting (yet). I'd keep him home too.

PollyFlint · 28/09/2017 09:41

If the whole family has been puking and your six-year-old is subdued, sleepy and tearful, I would probably keep him off to be honest. He's six; it's not like it's going to take him a week to catch up.

I'm not saying you should keep your child off school every time a sibling is ill (and clearly you're not saying that either, despite what some posters seem keen to infer), as obviously you wouldn't keep him off just because one of your other kids had a cold or something - but if you've all had a gross tummy bug that's clearly contagious and he's showing signs of being under the weather, it's fair enough at his age.

CatOnaShitHotRoof · 28/09/2017 09:42

he's 6 yo and the OP is sick herself.

Seriously, the world won't stop if he's not in school! The bloody obsession with institutionalised education in this country is so sad.

And he's not perfectly healthy Sirzy, the OP said he seemed a bit off. He goes to school, vomits, OP has to go and collect him with 2 sick dc and herself not well. It's Friday - that's 3 days for everyone to get better and hopefully not pass it on.

If everyone would just have a little bit more sense when it comes to feeling unwell.

NK493efc93X1277dd3d6d4 · 28/09/2017 09:52

Sounds like the easiest option - but I think you know that it's not really the right one.
However given his age - he'll not miss much tbh.

PinkHeart5913 · 28/09/2017 09:56

I think it's the easiest option for you but crying at a film isn't really being ill and you can't keep all 3 dc off everytime one of them is sick "just incase"

However as his 6 at least he won't be Missing too much

butterfly56 · 28/09/2017 10:01

You're doing the right thing keeping him off school.

FindTheLightSwitchDarren · 28/09/2017 10:02

Crying is the first sign I'm sick - always has been, since school age! Maybe we should assume the op knows her DS better than we do? If she thinks he's getting poorly, chances are she's right.

SuburbanRhonda · 28/09/2017 10:05

The bloody obsession with institutionalised education in this country is so sad.

Are your children home-schooled then, cat?

fuzzyduck1 · 28/09/2017 10:10

Send him to school.

You know what they say.

It's good to share!

Wheresmytaco · 28/09/2017 10:13

Today 09:42 CatOnaShitHotRoof

he's 6 yo and the OP is sick herself.

Seriously, the world won't stop if he's not in school! The bloody obsession with institutionalised education in this country is so sad.

Agree, completely.

And he's not perfectly healthy Sirzy, the OP said he seemed a bit off. He goes to school, vomits, OP has to go and collect him with 2 sick dc and herself not well. It's Friday - that's 3 days for everyone to get better and hopefully not pass it on.

If everyone would just have a little bit more sense when it comes to feeling unwell.

The problem with that is when your children are ill and hve dared to be more Than is acceptable you get shit from the school. It's very frustrating

SingingMySong · 28/09/2017 10:16

I think you're being sensible as a one off.

If he were bright and full of beans then I think your DH should have taken him to school. 3 kids, mum and 2 of them ill, other parent should do their bit with the logistics.

fortheloveofpancakes · 28/09/2017 10:17

Fucking hell the poor woman is still being sick so yeah he may as well stay home because if he does suddenly start puking his guts up at school who the hell will collect him if her dh is at work and she’s got her head down the toilet?? He’s also subdued and teary so yeah chances are he’s already go it.
Wish more people would follow the op’s attitude and then my lot would stop coming home with everything and giving it me who is of a delicate constitution unfortunately.

brownfang · 28/09/2017 10:17

I would have sent mine in. Tummy bugs mostly don't spread in our house.

Xmasbaby11 · 28/09/2017 10:21

He doesn't sound well so I'd keep him off.

If he was 100% I'd have said take him in. My dc don't tend to catch things from each other so I wouldn't keep them home just in case.

PuppyMonkey · 28/09/2017 10:25

He's six, what's he gonna miss? Trigonometry? Wink

I think you're doing the right thing, he's not himself, he's all tired and emotional and run down so his body is maybe dealing with the bug and is actually going to sort it out without vomit appearing. But he's been hanging out with you lot and is no doubt full of germs. Just chill at home till next week, I would.

If he was bouncy and normal and climbing the walls, I might think otherwise.

Miserylovescompany2 · 28/09/2017 10:31

Keep whatever you've got contained - ds2 could be immune to whatever you have? Doesn't mean he can't spread it if its viral/bug? I think you are doing the right thing. Plus, he is teary & subdued - could possibly be the start?