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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Mils, DFs and underwear light hearted

17 replies

crumpledwand · 28/09/2017 01:12

Today when I was sorthing through washing this thought came to me and it's been getting on my nerves since.

At Christmas my MIL usually buys my OH socks and boxers amongst other things nothing wrong with it at all and I'm in no way suggesting that she shouldnt it's actually quite helpful as the cost of men's boxers can be pricey and my OH usually puts holes in them don't ask me how I don't know.

Anyway it's been bugging me if my dad rocked up on Christmas with some bras and knickers for me that would be sooo weird! I don't want him to don't worry it was just this thought I had like why is it okay for mum's to full grown men to buy underwear for but for dads of full grown women.

Don't worry this is light hearted!

OP posts:

fuzzywuzzy · 28/09/2017 01:17

Would your DH find it weird if his dad bought him boxers?

Would you find it weird if your mum bought you underwear?

I think if you're used to certain family members buying you underwear it just carries on if you aren't and they turn up with knickers for you out of the blue then it would be odd.

Original poster

crumpledwand · 28/09/2017 01:19

Dh wouldn't care who bought him underwear to be honest Haha! Well you see I don't know mil has only just started doing this last couple of years she stopped doing this when dh was around 19 but randomly started doing it again. It's not an issue just had a funny thought about it

OP posts:

ReggaetonLente · 28/09/2017 01:22

I guess cos women's underwear is sexualised in a way men's isn't. And your MIL's probably bought your DP the same pants since he was a kid - I bet you're not still wearing the same kind!

I get what you mean though. Maybe it's also cos mums often tend to be the primary caregiver, regardless of the sex of the child? So their role has always been to provide clothes and pants and socks etc. Like a PP said, less odd for my mum to buy me knickers than my dad. But I don't know... still slightly odd.

fuzzywuzzy · 28/09/2017 01:24

It's got me thinking too. DP takes great pride in never having to buy underwear or socks, ever as he gets those a plenty for most ocassions.

I think I'd hate it if my mother bought me underwear because she'd buy cheap crappy ill fitting stuff.

It is odd tho how it's fine for blokes for their mums to buy them underwear, maybe it's because they're not so picky and the sizing isn't too difficult to guess at?

Original poster

crumpledwand · 28/09/2017 01:30

You're probably right there! Mind you unfortunately I do still wear the same kind... Bridget Jones pants nothing sexy about it I just love comfort!

Yes dp prides himself on that also.. he also has never bought himself a pair of shoes since we have been together and he thinks that is fantastic haha

OP posts:

Birdsgottafly · 28/09/2017 01:32

I think like a lot of these issues that it's to do with Women being the Primary Care givers and in past generations, they ran the household. Keep would be given over and that would cover the basics, including underwear.

Sizing for men is so easy and even their socks are easier to wear and come in standard,easy wear colours.

Bra sizing is a minefield and men hanging around Women's or teen girl's underwear sections don't get a good reaction.

In the 70's when i was a child, men got socks or a bottle of Whiskey/Brandy.

archerer · 28/09/2017 07:26

Because men's sizing is much more standard then woman's as well- trying to buy someone else a bra is a nightmare and I'm guessing even more for a male (wtf is a balcony bra aren't they all just bras!? Is a recent comment from my DH during a shopping trip 😂)

PandorasXbox · 28/09/2017 07:29

Totally different. Odd thing to think about too!

sandgrown · 28/09/2017 07:31

I often buy my teenage nephews trendy "named " boxers for presents . They are much appreciated as so expensive to buy.

junebirthdaygirl · 28/09/2017 07:40

As a dm l always put panties and socks in my dds christmas stocking right through college as l know she likes anything that saves her money. She just started work and last week l bought her a big pack of socks and she was thrilled.. Her df would never buy them. I do buy all that stuff for dss too as they rather keep money for social life and genuinely appreciate it.

MinorRSole · 28/09/2017 07:43

First Christmas with dh and my mil bought me lacy knickers, I found it odd and mildly disturbing

Original poster

crumpledwand · 28/09/2017 08:41

At Pandora... ugh there's always one I did say it was light hearted.

Minor that's hilarious I would die if my mil did that. She's hilarious though so god knows what I would end up with.

Must be to do with the whole caregiver thing. Have to admit I would hate for anyone else to buy me underwear and I can honestlu say that no bra my Oh bought me actually fit.

OP posts:

Appuskidu · 28/09/2017 08:51

I'm not sure that's comparable-it's more like your MIL buying her son pants and your mum buying you some? Unless your dad always bought your underwear as a child?

I think it's much much more easy to buy men stuff that fits-if she knows he wears Calvin Klein boxers in a size L-it's an easy buy, it's much harder to get someone else a bra that fits.

thethoughtfox · 28/09/2017 09:03

It seems more normal because mum's usually have been the ones being their children's pants since forever. And Mums and adult children both get a nostalgic reminder of their childhood relationship again.

thethoughtfox · 28/09/2017 09:04

Maybe this will change as more and more fathers do more childcare and take on family responsibility.

SloeSloeQuickQuickGin · 28/09/2017 09:07

I miss my mum because I used to get a years supply of expensive shampoo, new bras, knickers and tights. My brother says the same, he misses his socks underpants, best trousers and new shoes!

Fluffyears · 28/09/2017 09:12

My DP is hard to buy for so I think Mil relies on adding pants to his Christmas gift to make it look full. The problem is trying to make her understand his size. His dad was extremely skinny and DP although slim has a bigger frame and really wide shoulders. She continually buys him ‘small’ even if she gets him a t shirt etc. They never fit hrs a medium/large and has been since he was 14. He had told her time and time again but she won’t take it in:

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