AIBU to be worried

[BringMeSunshinePlease]

Would you allow your 16 year old DD to stay out overnight with her BF if you'd don't know the people she's staying with? She's in a sexual relationship with BF.

AIBU to be worried?

Surely your DP needs to 'grow a pair' and speak to his DS if you don't want the GF staying as often. It is reasonable not to want it to happen so often if it changes the dynamics of the home. It might encourage him to behave more respectfully.

Your OP doesn’t seem relevant to the actual problem. It doesn’t matter what her parents are happy with. What matters is what you and your DH allow in your home. If you don’t want her there, that’s for you to decide. Your issue appears to be with your partner, not her parents.

It’s your house so you can keep her safe if that’s your concern

Couldn't you lay down some ground rules like she only stays on Friday and Saturday nights?

I was allowed to at that age, my parents didn't meet his parents properly for ages, our wedding a few months ago was the first time for some of them and we have been together 9 years! If was a bit different as I gave always got on with my inlaws and vice versa.
Sadly if you don't like her then it will probably only make your ss dig his heels in and like her more...teenagers can be shits like that 😄.
If she is making your home life uncomfortable then just request she doesn't stay over, it's your house, you have every right to have a say in the guests you have....sadly it won't endear you to your ss and that may cause other issues.
TBH I don't know many 16 year old girls that would refuse a blunt and direct 'please leave my house I don't like you' from the adult in charge of the house, but I may be very sheltered.

I think you should start a new thread in relationships or parenting teens, because you've come at this one from a really odd angle!

At 16, my BF and I rented our flat and I stayed with whoever I wanted to - nothing to do with mummy being introduced!

Your problem isn't this woman or her mother - it's how your stepson reacts.

For how this woman's mother parents, and go talk to your own husband about his parenting.

My OP was to try and understand the other mother's perspective. I don't get it personally but she's not my DD. As for my DH his parenting is as a result of the guilt he feels for not being a full time parent so he doesn't want his limited time being spoilt by his son's bad behaviour. It makes for a very unpleasant son but there's little I can do about it.