Unwanted baby clothes

[Justanothernameonthepage]

We're lucky enough to have some very generous friends and family. We had DD earlier this year and When asked, we would say we preferred gender neutral bits and bright colours. Some people bought some amazing bits and some bought items we would never use and were really impractical for a newborn. At least one person announced they didn't believe in gender neutral and bought really unusable items. (Fair enough if they want to waste their money).
A couple of the least worst outfits were used for a couple of minutes and photographed as thank yous but most were donated or exchanged. (Annoyingly, nearly all were given with no gift receipt and as I wasn't able to get to the shop til after sales ended I exchanged £80 worth for a single bodysuit). We kept some girly bits as emergency outfits, but tend to use DS old bits as they are much better designed for a baby.
A friend just found out I did this and got upset (didn't mean for her to find out, but she insisted on hunting for all the 'lovely girly dresses' DD doesn't wear when I was changing a nappy)

AIBU? I thought exchanging meant the person's money went towards something needed and that would be used so is better than just storing things and then having to buy useable bits.
Or should I have stored dresses, knowing that I'd never use them when they could have made another mum really happy?

Baby clothes (and to an extent, older children) is about the only area where someone would expect something to be used without knowing/ caring about the person's tastes/practicalities.

I've never had to buy presents for a new baby, but from experience, have said that if I did I'd buy swimming stuff rather than clothes. I'm only half-joking. IME taking your baby swimming is fun for both parties, gets them nicely tired and is an introduction to a useful skill. I'm blatantly extrapolating from my own experience; but that's no worse than people who think someone else's daughter should wear puffy scratchy dresses because their own had to.

I work in retail. Please give gift receipts! If you don't, I can only offer the price on my till on the day as an exchange value and it can result in so much wasted money! You'd be amazed how much baby stuff comes back for different reasons. I once had someone come back with a hideous pastel pony covered snowsuit she'd been gifted, no receipts and a price tag saying £40. The item was about 3 seasons old and I could only give her £10 in credit. She hit the roof, I didn't blame her. It needn't have been that awkward.

I exchanged some outfits straight away. DS1 bypassed new-born and went straight into 0-3. His not small birth weight was well publicised so it was pretty clear that NB had no longevity. DS2 was slightly smaller and managed 2 weeks in NB. We tided him over with a few multi-packs of baby-grows until he was ready for our stock of 0-3.

I had nothing against baby blue, but it was nice to have a mix of varied colours. With DS1 we intended to have a sibling, so being more "gender neutral" meant that much of our clothing could be reused whatever DC2 turned out to be. Even if he had been a girl plenty of things like dungarees would still have been practical.

(Admittedly after a long run of male babies of my own, family and friends, I do fail to resist something very feminine (but still practical) for my friend's DDs)

If you do want to get value out of giving a gift of baby clothes, consider the size of baby, practicality for age and season at the time it's likely to fit.

Mum - I use baby to describe the stage toddler, which includes crawling (most people bought 3-6 or 6-9 months. Firmly in the attempting to crawl stage). Next time you are shopping for baby clothes, really look at girls clothing. Dungerees came with buttons
for the straps (great for quick changes). Legging fabric is so thin it's nearly see through (great for ripping during exploring). Frills and ribbons are on everything. I have some wonderful friends who bought generously (but impractically) and some family members who think Victorian style frills are cute on girls. The dress with button up the back was from tescos so hardly rare.
DD was born in June. Sales were July. In the first couple of weeks I really didn't want to drag a newborn and a 3 year old round shops while recovering from birth.

People are so easily offended!

I don't get it.

Yes I have done this and I think it's the best thing to do - I specifically tell my friends 'here, I chose this but if it doesn't work out for size or style please definitely exchange for something else you like'.

Carry on as you are.

It's not the best thing to do if you're only getting one bodysuit in return of £80 worth of clothes 😂

I have a DD and never had such an issue with leggings, no problem with dungarees either. Is it poor quality in a particular shop?

I think that people generally try when they give gifts. Not everyone will know that a large baby is going to be too big for something that says newborn, or that a small baby might need several sizes smaller than their age in six months time. In those cases, smile, accept and either store for later or exchange for the right size.

When it's a matter of taste, I think it's perfectly reasonable to exchange or donate. You don't have to dress your baby according to other people's taste. If it's a close relative likely to take offence, it's worth dressing the child in it once and taking a photo, but otherwise it's up to you.

Personally, I do like dresses on little girls, especially once they're walking. Jersey tunics, denim pinafores etc. Not so much with the pink satin, lace and sequins. But I can see why someone might pick those things off the shelf, not thinking at all practically. They just want to congratulate you on the baby. They aren't there to provide her everyday wardrobe.

Dungerees were m&s (I do use them, just curse the buttons occasionally). Leggings are Tesco & m&s. Tbf, I may be judging them prematurely, but DS trousers at that age were so thick compared to these

Leggings are amazing, even if they don't last beyond one child or start to look grubby on the knees. Sometimes you can pick them up in sale (sains/next etc) for a couple of pounds. Perfect for crawlers or adapting for the weather (long/cropped or without leggings can make the same dress do 3 seasons) even just to cover the nappy.

Goodness, I love buying baby clothes for friends and colleagues but would never dream of checking to see if they'd been worn.

DrPill people buy clothes for babies because it's fun and they are cute.

I am one who doesn't dress girls in dresses until they are walking. They are just impractical. You end up with it all round their chest and waist when holding them, forever faffing around with it and it being a complete pain.

I also had to exchange so many new things when my bubs was born. She was put in a hip harness at 2 weeks old so things that people had bought didn't fit at all. She went into 6-9 month old babygrows at 2 weeks so I exchanged as much as I could. People never asked me and I would of been honest if they had.