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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to be really cross with our buyers?

45 replies

Laurat859 · 27/09/2017 14:28

Hi Mumsnetters! I need to know if I'm justified in feeling so frustrated with our house sale. And if anybody has any advice on what is best to do it would be much appreciated.
We sold our house 6 weeks ago, within one week of it being on the market. The buyers are an older couple who are buying in cash for their son. We didn't expect to sell so quickly and there was nothing on the market we wanted for a while. Just after accepting the offer, our estate agent called to say that the son would like to be in by the end of October. I said that is pushing it as we don't even have a new house in mind yet. The estate agent agreed and said he had let the buyers know. That was that...or so I thought.
We found our dream home a couple of weeks ago and our offer was accepted. The lady whose house we are buying is moving into a house that is currently empty, so that is where the chain ends. All is now in the hands of the solicitors.
Last week we had a call from our estate agent to say that our buyers had been cross on the phone and said that they never would have proceeded with the purchase if they knew their son wouldn't be in by the middle of October. We said that it's the first we had heard about the middle of October and we never would have promised that as we only just found somewhere ourselves! We spoke to our solicitor who said that there is no way the sale would go through by the middle of October anyway, possibly the end but then of course we have our purchase to think about as well. She made this clear to our estate agents and all has been quiet until yesterday.
Our estate agent called pushing for a date, and it turns out the son's tenancy agreement ends of the 31st of October and he must be in our house by then. So the middle of October was them trying to push their luck Hmm Apparently he can't move in with his parents as he has a cat. Lots of pressure is being put on us to break the chain and move out before our purchase has completed. My boyfriend's parents have offered to have us for this time which I am very grateful of.
Today my boyfriend has agreed with our agent that we will be out by October 31st. He is worried that our buyers will pull out and we will lose our house. To be honest, I doubt they will pull out as they have already spent a lot of money on surveys and solicitors for this house. Also, could they really get in anywhere else sooner?
The reason I am so annoyed is that when they agreed to buy our house they knew we still had to find somewhere. We never promised the end of October. I don't feel we have taken particularly long to find somewhere either! For me, getting to work and back from the in-laws house in going to be a long journey. Then it's the cost and inconvenience of removals TWICE, and putting our stuff into storage. All for the sake of what is probably only going to be a couple of weeks. It is lucky we have family relatively nearby who will have us, otherwise would they really be pressuring us into homelessness?
Thanks for reading, I really need a place to vent as my boyfriend is so laid back and thinks I'm being difficult Confused

OP posts:
loveka · 27/09/2017 14:35

You are not being difficult. In the same situation we couldnt move out because we couldn't afford to rent and we have pets, so the whole thing fell apart. Our buyer was only giving us 3 days after exchange to get out though! We lost our dream house.

I think in an ideal world buying and selling at the same time is best avoided if humanly possible. The stress was unbearable, and in the end was for nothing.

rizlett · 27/09/2017 14:39

I doubt they will pull out now - probably they were just panicking and hoping to get the move sorted before his rental expired.

You could try asking if you can exchange and complete earlier on the house you are buying to save you moving in with relatives - or offer to have the cat!

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 27/09/2017 14:43

YANBU. It would be vastly cheaper for your buyer to book his cat into a cattery for a couple of weeks wouldn't it? He could then stay with his parents.

That said, a friend has recently completed her sale before her purchase & gone into a temporary rental for 1 month inbetween, in order not to lose her buyer. In her case though the buyer had already been incredibly patient as all of the hold ups (a 3 month delay from the original proposed completion date) were down to the builders of the new build my friend is purchasing.

I think in your case I'd be telling them they'll have to wait or find somewhere else that can complete sooner (extremely doubtful).

Herschellmum · 27/09/2017 14:44

I think house buying and selling is difficult and extremely for everyone. People always need to comprimse and I find dealing though estate agents actually causes more problems than it's worth.

To be honest, they may still pull out if he has to find alternative accommodation. I know we would have had to in our case. If you can find a way then that's great, although I appreciate it's not ideal for you at all. It's just so hard. We had a mega quick turn around. We did the whole process in about 6 weeks.

FluffyNinja · 27/09/2017 14:46

Don't agree to an early move date before you've signed contracts. If your house purchase falls through, you'll be left with ongoing storage fees and stuck with the in-laws over winter!
Surely, he can put his cat into a Cattery.
We had to pay a months cattery fees for our two cats when we moved 4 years ago due to moving abroad.
If it sold within a week of being advertised, you're in a stronger position than your buyer!

cudbywestrangers · 27/09/2017 14:48

I don't think you're being difficult! That timescale would have been very tight... if it's any consolation, the removals fees might not be much more than a straight move though. Our move got delayed after the removals lorry had emptied our house. Putting everything into storage and unloading later cost us an extra £50 per week or thereabouts. Unloading and starting again would have been a double fee so we opted for storage and living in an empty house for a couple of weeks!

Jaxhog · 27/09/2017 15:08

Tell them you'll move as fast as you can, and leave it at that. No-one can promise a move date until contracts are exchanged.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 27/09/2017 15:13

Wow, that made me panic ... for a moment I thought this was about me, as I'm also an older parent buying a place for my son and the dates match Shock

Happily my son doesn't have a cat, doesn't have a tenancy end date of 31 October and the sellers are married (so not a "boyfriend" as mentioned) - phew!!

Just in case, though, and if the OP's initials are AM, her husband PM and they live on P St in D, the estate agents have told you a load of rubbish, my son hasn't given notice on his current tenancy yet and he doesn't need to be in his new house until just after Christmas Smile

NannyRed · 27/09/2017 15:14

And if you pull out of the sale they will back at square one. What do they hope to achieve? Solicitors are famously slow, they can either wait or start again. It sounds like they're pushing their luck tbh.
If the sons tenancy ends at the end of October he may be able to rent his current home by the month just for November.

MoosicalDaisy · 27/09/2017 15:18

Yes suggest the cat can go into a cattery fgs, or if HE has a friend who could take it in for a few weeks. His cat is not your problem. A family move vs a single man with a cat, no brainer.

namechangefordummies · 27/09/2017 15:20

Id go back and tell the estate agent to tell the buyer to put the cat in a cattery...

Do not exchange contracts with a completion date of end of October unless you are 100% sure about doing that.

Your estate agents work for YOU so shouldn't be pressuring you like this. You'll find a new buyer if necessary but i highly doubt they will pull out in any event. They're trying it on and your boyfriend is a numpty.

namechangefordummies · 27/09/2017 15:21

Oh, also - you could suggest that the buyer pays your solicitors an expedited completion fee to work on the file faster...

yorkshireyummymummy · 27/09/2017 15:21

Yes, tell them that you will instruct your solicitor to work for a 31 October date but you will not be promising anything until contracts are exchanged as that will put you in a poor position.
I would then advise my solicitor to push hard on the purchase and drag his feet with the sale so hopefully they happen at the same time. 😳😳 . ( innocent face! How suprising! They are both going through together! ) I agree with other posters- the purchasers are very unlikely to pull out now as they will not find anything to complete by 31 October.
I think the purchasers are bloody cheeky to be frank to expect you to rush and move twice because of a bloody cat! Put the cat in a cattery FFS,!

innagazing · 27/09/2017 15:27

Surely the easiest thing is for the son to negotiate staying in his flat for slightly longer?
At this stage of your buying process, you really can't guarantee any moving out date (anything could show up on the property you're trying to buy, or on your own property) and you need to be guided by your solicitor.
Your buyer is being totally unreasonable in expecting you to give a specific date now. They'll have this problem even if they pull out (which is highly unlikely) and have to start the process over with a different property.
I'd suggest that you tell the agent to go through your solicitor with these sorts of issues, which will take the pressure off you.

Athome77 · 27/09/2017 15:29

I have been in a similar situation-end of tenancy while buying, I asked my landlord if I could extend by 1 month and he was quite happy to...

Blobby10 · 27/09/2017 15:31

This has happened to me and my family for every house we purchased! Each time it has been us as sellers who have bent over backwards for our buyers, twice renting in between properties, twice moving in with my parents, each time putting our stuff into storage because our agents told us we would lose the buyer if we didn't. Two houses ago, the buyer insisted on completing 30th June (we were looking for 10th July) then didn't actually move in for SIX weeks!!!!

I hate selling houses Sad

TheCatsMother99 · 27/09/2017 15:32

I had a very similar thing happen when I sold my last house. To stop us breaking the chain we considered going in to rental or parents, however, we managed to get it to all fall in to place in the end. I hope the same happens for you.

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 27/09/2017 15:35

If they pull out then the son definitely has nowhere to go on Oct 31st.

You are in the strongest position here.

You can make soothing noises about putting pressure on your own chain to move as fast as possible but say you aren't in a position to promise anything.

Go back on the 31st like this: say you've investigated and it would cost you £Xk (inflate it, cost of your time, chance of being there for say two months if other sale is delayed etc).

Offer that if they pay £x then you will agree to be out on 31st. Of course they will rapidly decide to cover the costs of a cattery or get son to extend his tenancy for a month or get him a b&b.

dailydance · 27/09/2017 15:36

I wouldn't necessarily be cross with the buyers- hell knows what the estate agents have been telling them. When I was a buyer I had some serious bs from agents about what the sellers had agreed .. all lies from the agents.

Allthebestnamesareused · 27/09/2017 15:37

Turning them down is a risk I would take to be honest.

As others have pointed out he can put the cat in a cattery or get a friend to cat-it and then stay with his parents.

I would suggest that if you are to move out and be put to the inconvenience they should be asked to pay some for of financial recompense (higher than cattery fees)!

Dumdedumdum · 27/09/2017 15:41

If you did finalise the move and move out you would be in a really strong position to purchase any new home.
I'm not sure why a couple are that much harder to move than a man and his cat, no dcs are mentioned, but they are not obliged to move obviously.

When we agree a purchase in Scotland we also agree a date - though this may need to be changed I can't imagine agreeing a sale with an indefinite entry date.

Purplemeddler · 27/09/2017 15:46

It would be vastly cheaper for your buyer to book his cat into a cattery for a couple of weeks wouldn't it? He could then stay with his parents

This. Or see if he can stay in his house a couple of weeks longer. If the LL hasn't got another tenant lined up right away they might be only too happy to get more rent. 31 October may well be doable with goodwill from all sides though.

hell knows what the estate agents have been telling them

I do agree about the fibs you get. In my case it wasn't the estate agent but their solicitor saying we had to pay a 10% deposit (normal but we'd agreed a smaller one with our buyers, which is also pretty normal). When I spoke to the buyer direct the solicitor hadn't even told them we'd requested a smaller deposit. We paid 5% in the end.

StarlitTrees · 27/09/2017 15:50

Have you got a mortgage on your current property?
If so you could end up paying early repayment charges if you buy and sell seperately.
Your mortgage agreement on the new house might not be valid any more either if you're not buying selling at the same time anymore.

RB68 · 27/09/2017 16:09

If his tenancy ends then it goes onto a rolling tenancy. Unless what they mean is he has already given his notice... cat goes to cattery Son to parents easy peasy. Stuff to storage - or if they want you to do it then they pay for it. You pack all but essentials and it goes to storage at their cost for min 2 mths, you go live with IL and all hunky dory.

NuttyMcAlletun · 27/09/2017 16:09

It depends how things were told to the buyers, I don't trust estate agents! (speaking from experience).

The same thing happened to me when I was buying a property. I was renting at the time, with very flexible conditions. The agent of the seller kept telling us everything was in place, and we would be ready to move mid-October (for example). Everything seemed in place, so I did give notice to my landlord at the beginning of October. A week later, we discovered that the seller wasn't ready to move (but ready to proceed!)
By that time, it was too late, I did threaten to pull out and I meant it: it was too late to renew my rental, another tenant was already booked. My only option was to get another rental, but for a minimum of 6 months, and mortgage + rent would have been too expensive.

The seller would have lost the buyer (me) if he had stayed put. If the agent had been honest from the start, I would have been happy to stay put where I was, but once I had given notice, it was too late.